What is Love-shyness? And are you love-shy?
What is involuntary celibacy (incel?) And are you incel?

Short answer: It's datelessness! It's romantic inexperience, and extreme difficulty forming romantic relationships. If you want to cut to the chase and discuss your problem, head over to the Love-shy.com forum. If you have further questions, read on.

If you came to this site looking for answers as a dateless person, then you have come to the right place. Love-shyness, simply put, is the inability of a person to participate in the normal sexual processes that everyone around him (or her) can easily engage in. The Love-shy individual typically finds themselves "shut out" of normal socio-sexual interactions. If any one of these applies to you, you can be considered love-shy:

  • An extreme difficulty obtaining romantic partners, to the point of not being able to obtain any at all
  • Extreme anxiety, awkwardness, and difficulty relating to romantic courtship situations, like asking someone out
  • Generalized social anxiety that inhibits your potential and limits your ability to thrive
  • Lack of friends, or a small number of close friends, and a difficulty in forming friendships with people
  • A lack of interest in forming friendships, and social interactions, with the only real desire being that of obtaining a partner
  • A feeling of being "left out" and alienated from society, and people in general

These are all characteristics that describe Love-shys. A person need not meet all of the criteria to be considered love-shy; in its distilled definition, love-shyness is simply extreme anxiety and difficulty related to opposite (or appropriate) sex interactions.

As this site and its active forum demonstrates, you are not alone if you are Love-shy! Love shyness is a condition that is estimated to affect 1.5% of males. When including females, this gives a rough estimate of Love-shyness affecting 60 million people worldwide. In the United States alone, it is estimated to affect roughly 5-6 million people. There are plenty of people sharing your difficulties in courtship interactions. Research has even been performed on the condition, performed by the sociology professor Brian G. Gilmartin. He summarizes his research in his book, and makes an impassioned plea for society to help love-shys. Read more about it on the resources page. Why is Love-shyness so unheard of? Well, simply put, the squeaky wheel gets the grease, and Love-shys tend to not squeak.

Be sure to read the FAQ for more detailed information about aspects of Love-shyness if you want a quick summary.

If you are here for answers related to dating a love-shy person, or want to help a love-shy person out, then you will find this site quite resourceful as well!


If you suffer from involuntary celibacy (incel), you can find support here as well. Involuntary celibacy is defined as being unable to obtain a romantic partner within six months, for whatever reason. Incels tend to be otherwise healthy individuals, who may or may not suffer from social anxiety issues. Love-shy.com offers extensive support for people suffering from involuntary celibacy, as the suffering often overlaps that of the love-shys. Read more about it in the FAQ.


June 11, 2011

Check out the new Love-shy.com Wiki! Articles have been rolled into the Wiki as well.

October 02, 2010

A new article is up in the Articles section! In it, Laplacian discusses the demographic problem facing today's young men in the American dating market. (Updated 6/2011 for new Wiki location)

The forum itself has received some new features, including a stealth mode for browsing the forum from work or a non-private place. The homepage now also lists the most recent posts in the guest-viewable section of the forums as well.

June 17, 2010

Updated the media section; it's now hosting some streaming as well as downloadable media. The next steps are pretty major- write up this blog feature and the articles feature (finally). Oh what fun that will be!


Have a question? Want help with Love-shyness? Want to introduce yourself to a whole community of understanding love-shy members? Then create an account on the Love-shy.com forums!

Latest forum posts

Does NLP help?
by DaddYankee
on Fri Feb 16, 2018, 9:40 am

You guys need to find peace within yourselves.
by Fonduman
on Tue Feb 6, 2018, 12:56 pm

News Flash: Women prefer manly men.
by Catapault55
on Tue Dec 26, 2017, 12:17 am

Sweetness helps
by ukshygirl
on Sun Dec 17, 2017, 1:38 pm

Beating loveshyness
by StromaeMeetsTomServo
on Mon Nov 20, 2017, 2:20 pm

How I do online dating
by Mizz_Wicked
on Mon Oct 30, 2017, 5:08 pm

fascinating first hand account of cbt/exposure therapy
by cerebral_barrier
on Tue Oct 24, 2017, 6:14 pm

Latest Articles

The Wish-Bone Effect
by Brian G. Gilmartin
on Tue Mar 29, 2011, 12:58 am

An Analysis Of Gender Ratios In The USA 1860-2005
by Laplacian
on Sat Oct 2, 2010, 8:37 pm

The Creep Theory
by Henry Flint
on Thu Aug 26, 2010, 7:22 pm

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