Table of Contents---"Shyness & Love: Causes, Consequences, and Treatment" by Dr. Brian G. Gilmartin

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A debt of gratitude is owed Justin Urban for transcribing this work for us.
For many of us this book has been a revelation. It is my hope that this book
will continue to lift the blindfold which has hindered the love-shy man for too long.

This document was originally hosted here
http://www.angelfire.com/ab6/polepino/toc.html

The whole book is now available !
Seth has put together a really good PDF version,
so you can read this off-line or print it.
Use the right mouse button to save: -

This one is set up for viewing on-line
Dr. Brian G. Gilmartin - Shyness & Love.pdf (About 4.5MB)

This one is set up for printing
Dr. Brian G. Gilmartin - Shyness & Love.pdf (About 4.5MB)

I shall leave these fragments of the book on-line so that you may view some
sections of the book before deciding if you want to download the whole thing
as a PDF

The following is the Table of Contents for the 600+ page book

Shyness & Love: Causes, Consequences, and Treatment

by Dr. Brian G. Gilmartin

University Press of America, Inc.

@1987

Since the book is currently out of print, it is quite hard to find in libraries. I would suggest looking for a copy

in your local college library since that is where I found my copy. This website will be an ongoing attempt to

create an on-line version of the book. It is an attempt to share in Dr. Gilmartin's hope "that it reaches as many

afflicted people as possible." This is currently going on without the consent of Dr. Gilmartin or his publishers

but hopefully will return some interest to the book itself. If they have any objections to this, they need only to

contact me and ask to remove this webpage. Otherwise, feel free to e-mail me if you have any questions or

would like to see a certain section put up. I will try to post sections when I can, starting with those that I've

found most interesting. Finally, I do hope it helps those in need to understand their situation, as it has my own.

Thanks goes out to Mike for helping type three sections.

Justin Urban

polepino@yahoo.com

***For those interested, you may join my Yahoo! Groups board. This is where you may discuss the findings of the book.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/loveshy_drgilmartin/

__________________________________________________________________________

"This book is dedicated to the promotion of responsible free choice and self-determination--

something to which all human beings everywhere ought to be fully entitled."

--Dr. Brian G. Gilmartin

Shyness & Love: Causes, Consequences, and Treatment

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Table of Contents(pgs. ix - xviii)













Chapter 1:





































Chapter 2:









































Chapter 3:





















Chapter 4:











Chapter 5:







































Chapter 6:

































Chapter 7:

















Chapter 8:



































Chapter 9:





















Chapter 10:





















































Chapter 11:

































Chapter 12:

















Chapter 13:























Chapter 14:





















Chapter 15:





















































Chapter 16:



















Chapter 17:



























Chapter 18:













Chapter 19:



































Chapter 20:









Chapter 21:





Chapter 22:









































Chapter 23:





































































Chapter 24:

























































Chapter 25:























Appendix I:



Appendix II:

Appendix III:

Acknowledgments .......................................................

List of Figures ..............................................................

Preface ........................................................................

INTRODUCTION ......................................................

What is Love-Shyness? ............................................

The Gender Factor .................................................

Enlightened Self-Control versus Shyness ..................

Love-Shyness is a Serious Problem .........................

The Christopher Jencks Study .............................

Studies in the Employment Sector ........................

On Remedying Social Skill Deficits ......................

Early Marriage versus Professional Success .........

Dating and General Happiness .............................

Love as a Powerful Elixir .....................................

Premarital Virginity and Adjustment .....................

Viewing Someone to Love as a Cure-All .................

Normative Timetables of Self-Revelation .................

Why This Book? .....................................................

Love-Shyness Costs Society Money .......................

Summary ................................................................

Plan of the Book .....................................................

LOVE-SHYNESS AND THE NATURE VERSUS

NURTURE DEBATE .............................................

The Phenomenon of Inborn Temperament ................

The Work of Hans J. Eysenck .................................

Love-Shyness and the Inborn Anxiety

Threshold ...............................................................

The Importance of Social Stimulus Value .................

The Work of Alexander Thomas .............................

The Jerome Kagan Work ........................................

Heart Rate Patterns ..............................................

Long-Separated Identical Twins ...........................

The Importance of Enzymes ....................................

Enzyme Activity and Propitious Fetal

Growth ...................................................................

Painful Anxiety and Enzyme Neutralization ............

Some Related Work on Depression ........................

Suicide ...................................................................

Anxiety Disease ......................................................

Schizophrenia .........................................................

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorders ............................

Conclusions ............................................................

SOCIETAL REACTIONS AND ELASTIC LIMITS ........

The "Wish Bone Effect" ...........................................

The Sociological Perspective ...................................

Every Group Needs a Deviant .................................

The Mentally Retarded as Analogous to the

Shy ........................................................................................

The Jane Elliott Study ..............................................

The Taking Over of a Role ...................................

Dark Crayons and Drab Drawings ........................

The "Appereceptive Mass" Concept ........................

Conclusions ............................................................

ASTROLOGY AND REINCARNATION .................

Astrological Factors ................................................

How Astrology Is Believed to Work ....................

The Present Research ..........................................

Reincarnation ..........................................................

Psychodormia .........................................................

HOW THE INFORMATION WAS OBTAINED .......

Who Is "Love-Shy"? ................................................

Why Study Men Only? ............................................

The "Felt Deprivation" Concept ...............................

Distinguishing Heterosexuals from

Homosexuals ..........................................................

The "Closet Heterosexual" Concept .........................

The "Male Lesbian" Concept ...................................

Three Samples Were Studied ..................................

Sample Heterogeneity ..........................................

Reliability .............................................................

The Prevalence of Love-Shyness .............................

How the Respondents Were Obtained .....................

The Younger Love-Shy Men ................................

The Socially Self-Confident Non-Shy Men ...........

The SHI Inventory ...............................................

The Older Love-Shy Group .................................

The Commercial Dating Service ...........................

The Importance of LOVE-Shyness .........................

Summary ................................................................

LOVE-SHYNESS: ITS INTRAUTERINE

BEGINNINGS .......................................................

The East German Research .....................................

Blood Testosterone ..............................................

Relevant American Research Efforts .....................

My Own Findings ...................................................

Miscarriages and Stillbirths ...................................

The Infant Mortality Issue .....................................

The Pains of Giving Birth ......................................

Premature Births and Caesarean Sections .............

Painful Menopause ...............................................

Love-Shys as Quiet Babies .....................................

Mothers' Personalities .............................................

Maternal Bashfulness During Pregnancy ................

Mothers' Employment ..........................................

Employment Among Mothers of Teenagers ...........

The Issue of Prevention ...........................................

FAMILY COMPOSITION ........................................

Brothers and Sisters ................................................

The Mode of Standardization ..................................

Interactions vis-a-vis Married People ...................

Implications for Prevention ...................................

The Only Child .......................................................

Kinship Relationships ..............................................

Quality of Parents' Marriages ..................................

Conclusions ............................................................

PARENTS AS A CAUSE OF LOVE-SHYNESS ......

Family Atmosphere .................................................

Extent of Family Emotional Supportiveness ...........

The Komarovsky Study .......................................

Family Democracy ..................................................

Mutual Sensitivity to Needs and Feelings .................

"Milk" versus "Honey" .............................................

Seriousness .............................................................

Paternal "Sexy Anxiety" ...........................................

Appearance of the Home ........................................

Parental Overprotectiveness ....................................

Negative Comparisons ............................................

Forcing the Summer Camp Experience on

Children ..................................................................

Summer Camps as Torture Prisons .......................

Homesickness ......................................................

Parents and Inheritance ...........................................

"Get Me a Goose!" .................................................

THE FAMILY AS A HOTBED OF RAGE AND

BELITTLEMENT ...................................................

Temper and Rage ....................................................

Spankings, Beatings, and Physical Abuse .................

When People "Stop Behaving" ..............................

Corporal Punishment's Negative

Consequences .........................................................

Persistent Belittlement and Ego Deflation ..................

Argument Initiation ..................................................

Doesn't All of This Contradict the Genetic

Perspective? ...........................................................

LOVE-SHYNESS AND THE ALL-MALE PEER

GROUP .................................................................

The Key Importance for Dating of Friendship

Networks ...............................................................

The Harlow Research ..............................................

The Polish Peasant ...................................................

Bullying ...................................................................

Frailness of Body Build ...........................................

Inauspicious Introductions to the All-Male Peer

Group .....................................................................

Masculine Toys .......................................................

The Baseball, Basketball, and Football

Syndrome ...............................................................

The "National Pastime" .........................................

Basketball ............................................................

The "Left Out" Syndrome .....................................

Most People Know What Is In Their Best

Interests ..................................................................

The Solution ............................................................

Use of School Letters ...........................................

Football: Should It Be Made Illegal? .....................

Current Peer Group Interaction ...............................

Discrepancy Between the Actual Self and the

Ideal Self .................................................................

Implications for Therapy .......................................

"Society's Goal" ...................................................

Friendship Networks and Happy Marriages .........

THE POWERFUL IMPACT OF PREADOLES-

CENT INFATUATIONS ......................................

The Paradox ...........................................................

Social Supports ......................................................

The Field of Roses Metaphor ..................................

"Oh, Leave Him Alone; He's Still Got Plenty of

Time!" ....................................................................

The "Male Lesbian" State of Mind ...........................

The Preadolescent Love Experience ........................

Beautiful, Driving Obsessions ...................................

A Preadolescent's Preference for a Sister .................

The Principle of the Superordinate Goal ...................

Love in the Middle Childhood Years .......................

Self-Disclosure Inhibitions .......................................

Media Inspired Love Infatuations ............................

The Biochemistry of Falling in Love ........................

Chapter Postscript .................................................

BEAUTY AND THE LOVE-SHY ..............................

The Need for Beauty ..............................................

The Love-Shy's Own Esthetic Attributes .................

Beauty and the Older Love-Shys ............................

Clothing .................................................................

Cloning as a Future Option .....................................

Hypnosis ................................................................

Accentuating the Positive .........................................

Summary ................................................................

THE SEXUAL LIVES OF THE LOVE-SHY ..............

Masturbation ...........................................................

Love-Shyness and Sexual Desire .............................

Felt Deprivation Creates Preoccupation ...................

Degree of Satisfaction with Sex Life .........................

Sexual Values and Attitudes ....................................

Moral Liberality versus Conservatism ......................

Unusual Sexual Directionality ...................................

Fending Off Unwanted Overtures ............................

Being Misperceived as Homosexual .........................

Being Misperceived by Homosexuals .......................

On Envying Homosexuals ........................................

LOVE-SHYNESS AND THE CRIMINAL MIND .....

Violent Fantasies .....................................................

Bullying ...................................................................

Similarity to Child Abusers ......................................

Psychopathy ...........................................................

Shoplifting ...............................................................

Marijuana Use ........................................................

Alcohol Use ............................................................

Staring and Following ..............................................

The Hinkley Case ...................................................

Difficulties Concentrating .........................................

MEDICAL SYMPTOMS AND LOVE-SHYNESS ....

Headaches ..............................................................

Backaches and Back Trouble ..................................

Bedwetting ..............................................................

Weight Problems .....................................................

Constipation and Diarrhea .......................................

Problems of the Nose ..............................................

Allergies ..................................................................

Dry Mouth ..............................................................

The Common Cold .................................................

Reactive Hypoglycemia ...........................................

Other Hypoglycemia Symptoms ............................

Halitosis ...............................................................

Hyperactive Salivary Glands .................................

Hyperprespiration .................................................

Depression ...........................................................

Throat Clearing and Coughing ..................................

Gas .........................................................................

Eyeglasses ...............................................................

Shortness of Stature ................................................

Acne .......................................................................

Insomnia .................................................................

Stuttering .................................................................

Buck Teeth .............................................................

Hypochondria .........................................................

Psychotherapy ........................................................

Chapter Postscript .......................................................

LOVE-SHYNESS AND THE INNATE SENSITIVI-

TIES ISSUE ................................................................

Bodily Itches ...........................................................

Climate ...................................................................

Bright Sunlight .........................................................

Wool ......................................................................

Physical Pain ...........................................................

Miscellaneous Sensitivities .......................................

Annoyance at Petty Stimuli ......................................

Eye Color and Hair Strand Width ............................

SOME PSYCHOLOGICAL CHARACTERISTICS

OF THE LOVE-SHY ............................................

Being Friendly Requires Nerve ................................

Extreme Self-Consciousness ....................................

Telephones ..............................................................

Assertion Phobia .....................................................

A Life-Threatening Scenario ....................................

Items Clearly Earmarking the Love-Shy ...................

Sense of Humor ......................................................

Control Over the Good and Bad .............................

Loneliness ...............................................................

Loneliness and Experimental Social Psychology .......

Envy of Female Privilege .........................................

Chapter Postscript ..................................................

PARENTHOOD ASPIRATIONS ...............................

Fear of Discipline ....................................................

Recycled Fathers ....................................................

Selecting the Gender of One's Future Children .........

Pre-Selecting a Baby's Sex ...................................

The Eugen Jonas Method .....................................

Shyness and Contracepting ......................................

CAREER, MONEY, EDUCATION, AND THE

LOVE-SHY ...........................................................

Level of Attained Education .....................................

Unemployment and Underemployment .....................

Annual Incomes .......................................................

Places of Abode ......................................................

Childhood Socioeconomic Status .............................

Implications of Money for Love-Shyness .................

Shyness in the Job Search ........................................

The Unadvertised Job ...........................................

Shyness on the Job ...............................................

Employment Attitudes ...........................................

Some Positive Recommendations .............................

On Selling an Employment Interviewer ..................

The Importance of Being in Demand .....................

Alleged "Frills" in Education ..................................

Higher Education as a Mode of Compensation .........

Moving During the Formative Years .........................

POLITICS, RELIGION, AND THE LOVE-SHY .......

Religion ...................................................................

Amenability to Religious Participation ....................

A Rejoinder to Ponder .........................................

Spiritualism .............................................................

MOVIES, MUSIC, AND THE LOVE-SHY ...............

The Love-Shys' Prime Film Experiences ..................

Music .....................................................................

PRACTICE-DATING THERAPY ..............................

Behavior Therapy Approaches .................................

The "Practice-Dating" Model ...................................

Screening .............................................................

Dealing with the Love and Beauty Problem ...........

The Alcoholics Anonymous Model of Mutual

Caring and Concern ................................................

Visualization and Mental Rehearsal .......................

The "Second Plateau" ...........................................

When a Practice-Dating Participant Fails to

Show Up ................................................................

"Going Outside" ...................................................

Waiting Lists ........................................................

Practice-Dating Therapy for High Schoolers .........

The Termination of Therapy ..................................

Psychodrama and Role Playing .............................

No Time Limit .....................................................

Exceptionally Stubborn Cases ..............................

Conclusions and Recommendations .........................

Practice-Dating and the University Campus ..........

Some Militancy Needs to be Displayed ................

SOME THERAPEUTIC ADJUNCTS .........................

The Nude Jacuzzi Experience ...................................

Therapy Employing Sexual Surrogates .....................

Use of Audio-Cassette Programs ............................

Bibliotherapy ...........................................................

Meditation ..............................................................

Why Not Simply Use Commercial Dating

Services? ................................................................

The Gender Ratio Problem ...................................

Commercial Vested Interests ................................

Barriers Posed by the Love-Shy's Psycho-

emotional Handicaps ...............................................

A Corroborating Study ........................................

Attractiveness and Education ................................

Self-Image Psychology as a Therapeutic

Adjunct ...................................................................

The Key Principles ...............................................

Blending Self-Image Psychology with the

Biological Perspective .............................................

Self-Image Therapy .................................................

Affirmation-Making and Self-Talk ........................

Visualization .........................................................

The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy ..................................

Some Rejoinders for Traditional

Psychotherapists .....................................................

The Symptom Displacement/Symptom Need

Argument ................................................................

Insight ..................................................................

Encouraging Dependency and Low Self-

Sufficiency ..............................................................

The Love-Shys' Need for Structure and their

Fear of Social Ambiguity .........................................

The "Responsibility" Argument ..............................

The "It's Too Mechanistic" Argument ....................

Postscript to Chapter 23 .........................................

SOME RECOMMENDATIONS CONCERNING

PREVENTION ......................................................

Research on Gene Splicing ......................................

Bullying ...................................................................

The Perils of Competition .....................................

A Non-Punitive Antidote for Bullying ...................

The Cruelest Bully of All .........................................

Cowardice .............................................................

Corporal Punishment Needs to be Outlawed ...........

Some Recommendations Concerning Dogs ..............

Coeducational Dormitories: Their Limitations ...........

The "Harrad" Dormitory Option ...............................

The Psychic Healing of Important Enzymes ..............

The Effect of Increasing Social Interaction ...............

The High School Curriculum ....................................

Foreign Languages ...............................................

History and Civics ................................................

Literature Courses ................................................

Ballroom Dancing ....................................................

Religion ...................................................................

Encounter Groups ...................................................

Might Fraternity Mebership Help? ...........................

Use of Sorority Girls ............................................

What Can Be Done .............................................

A System of Coed Room Mates ..........................

The Courtship System versus Marriage and

the Family ...............................................................

Use of Autistic Adolescent Girls ..............................

Changing the Norms ................................................

SOME FINAL THOUGHTS ......................................

A Different Philosophy ............................................

What Is Needed .....................................................

Interpersonal Skills versus Interpersonal

Anxiety ...................................................................

Some Final Thoughts on Prevention .........................

The Family Structure Factor .................................

The Abuse Factor ................................................

Judging a Person By His Actions .............................

Misreading Actions and Inactions ............................

Postscript ...............................................................

BIBLIOGRAPHY .......................................................

THE SURVEY OF HETEROSEXUAL

INTERACTIONS ..................................................

THE GILMARTIN LOVE-SHYNESS SCALE ..........

Summary of Mean Scores on Eysenck Personality

Questionnaire ..........................................................

Name Index .................................................................

Subject Index ..............................................................

__________________________________________________________________________

"Anyone who truly believes that shyness is caused exclusively by learning

will NEVER succeed at engineering a successful mode of therapy for the

problem.  A balanced perspective is a MUST."

--Dr. Brian G. Gilmartin

  Shyness & Love: Causes, Consequences, and Treatment

_____________________________________________________________________________________