The long of it:
Hola to everyone on the LS forum. I'm a girl interested in someone that may possibly be suffering from LS and I joined to see if some of you can give me advice. I know another girl recently posted something similar and a few people were wondering if she was trolling. I assure you that I am not.

I want to start off by saying that I am no stranger to anxiety- I have OCD and at one point my anxiety was so severe I could not leave my house. I only say this because I want you all to know that I stand in "solidarity" with you guys ......I promise I'll try to make this as short as possible:

I'm 25 yo and interested in someone that is in his early 30s.He works on the same floor as me so I guess we are coworkers but I only see him when we are on the elevator or eating lunch in the common area. I noticed him about 6 months ago and have been crushing on him ever since. At first all we would do was smile and nod at each other until I finally mustered up the courage to ask him out for coffee two weeks ago. When I asked him out on a Thursday he was speechless but then he said yes and mentioned something about not being able to go out that weekend. That following Monday at work I ran into him and when I asked how he was doing he basically stared at me and stuttered. I then smiled at him because he looked nervous and then he just walked away. That night I decided to text him and I asked if he wanted to schedule coffee, his response (3 hours later) was: today has been a really bad day And this week I'm busy with concerts or other things. We can try going out Saturday even though I'm busy that might or maybe Sunday evening. We'll talk soon. Take care.

I took this as a rejection and I replied:I hope things get better. Don't worry about it. Have a good night!

The next day I saw him on the elevator and I tried to act as cool as possible. When I asked him how he was doing he once again stuttered and made this weird chewbacca noise. ( I don't mean that in a rude way btw I just don't know how else to explain it) .

The week went by and I didn't run into him at all. That Sunday I received a text message from him asking if I wanted to meet up for coffee that night. I said yes and we met at a bar instead. The conversation was *awesome* no awkward silences at all. We talked for about two hours and then he invited me out to dinner right after. Dinner again went well. He said the reason he couldn't talk during the week was because his dogs were put down and he was really sad. He also did in fact have concerts three days in a row bc he showed me video. During the date he also mentioned that he was happy I asked him out because he is really shy. Throughout the night he made it a point to lean in a bunch of times, caress my shoulder/touch my arm. All the classical signs that he was flirting. He walked me to the subway station, gave me a hug and told me he had a great night. We were both going in opposite directions so he was basically across the train tracks from me. While we were waiting for our trains he kept on "yelling/talking" to me and smiling/waving. When his train arrived he went to the side facing me and began smiling and waving goodbye from inside. I couldn't help but laugh bc he was just being so adorable and he looked really happy. For the following two days at work he would smile at me and come up to talk to me. I ended up taking three days off from work due to the thanksgiving holiday and so I decided to send him a quick text that Friday morning. All I said was "hey, how was your thanksgiving? I just wanted to say hello "
I didn't receive a response until Saturday night. He said he forgot to text me back and that he had a great tgiv, that the turkey he made was delicious. He also asked me how my tgiv was.....I of course was angry that he didn't reply so I was really short and I said "it was great". He never replied back so I left it at that and swore to stop liking him. I saw him on Monday at work and he came up to me and started chatting. (my disappointment went out the window when I saw him again) Throughout the conversation he kept on touching my arm or my shoulder and getting very close. He continued this for the whole week so I of course thought he was flirting. I tend to be very impatient so I decided to ask him out again and that Saturday I texted him this: " hey, I have a question to ask you. Are you interested in going out again. I apologize if I'm being too direct but I had a lot of fun with you when we went out and I want to get to know you better. If you are not interested I totally understand."

Again, NO RESPONSE!!! He replied Tuesday morning and said: " hey, Sorry I didn't text you back Bc my cell died Saturday and it just slipped my mind Sunday. I'm really busy this week with things so we'll talk for next week, okay?"

I was angry because I felt that I put myself out there (through a text, silly I know) and he didn't have the decency to reply. I again swore that I would just stop liking him until I he came up to me that same Tuesday afternoon. Let me tell you that whenever he sees me at work he acts sooooo awkward. It's not like I'm imagining this either because my coworkers have noticed how different he acts with me. He is very social and has a lot of friends both male and female on our floor. With me he looks like he is a deer caught in the headlights. He gets very quiet and stutters or makes those weird chewbacca noises.

Anywho, we ended up seeing each other in the common area the tuesday evening after he sent me the text about being busy. I was eating my food and HE came up to me and just looked sooo scared. I asked him how he was doing and he made a weird chewbacca noise again. He then proceeded to tell me what he did that past weekend and how he thought he was getting sick. ( he volunteered this info. I never asked because I was mad at him). As he was talking to me he looked so nervous he kept on covering his mouth. At one point he started eating his scarf. It was crazy!!!! I wanted to tell him to calm down bc he looked so anxious. I saw him again today and he again approached me in the common area and started chatting with me. I should mention that when I ignore him he makes it a point to stare at me a lot. It's like he gets bothered when I don't say hello.

I'm not sure if you all can see why I am so confused. He doesn't reply in a timely manner to my texts. He doesn't ask me out on a second date. Yet, he stares at me, smiles and approaches me in awkward ways when he sees me. If a guy wasn't interested, wouldn't he STOP trying to pay attention to me?

A few extra info that might be helpful:
According to his online profile which I found, he is self conscious of his extreme body hair (I think it's sooo sexy) and he is very geeky. He plays role playing games and is very skilled at magic the gathering. (google is awesome and I promise im not a creeper). On our date he did mention that he doesn't date at all.
The short of it:
Sorry this is so long!!! I just want to know what i should do?! I'm interested and willing to work with his anxiety/shyness if this is what he has. I just don't know how to interpret these mixed signals.

Thanks in advance guys!

gzus.

Ok something you need to realize right the fuck now, is that you're not the most important person in the world. This guy clearly likes you, but people have lives outside of texting/social interaction/dating/ chatting with you. The fact that you got so mad because of an unanswered text is a bit troubling. He meant nothing by it, but your lack of patience/understanding is a bit troubling. Everything sounds like it's going well to me, and then you have these strange complaints... That's the only problem I see. Take a second to relax next time he doesn't answer. But really, the guy is clearly into you. These signals are not mixed in any way, he just has a life.

He sounds like a bit of a headcase with the strangled sounds and elaborate reasons for being tough to get whole of. Let him start getting in tough with you and set things up instead of you basing him down?

You could use the energy to chat to boys who don't sound like wookies when stressed, while he's sorting himself out.

It does sound a bit all over the place. But, I believe this is perhaps just due to him never dating, as well as probably being busy. He's probably not used to everything that you are doing together. Eating his scarf? I think he sounds cool. I generally agree with mrping, it sounds like it's going fairly well. He doesn't necessarily sound LS to me with the gentle touching he's doing? Sounds like he's doing it more than once, and unless he doesn't realise or you're misinterpreting it as something else; it doesn't really communicate shyness to me. Not sure I guess. :\

If you're interested:- the wookie noises might just be a quirky thing to sort of elucidate his wariness/surprise/apprehension (all 3 mixed) in a vocal manner. Imagine talking to someone online, and they write a "Gah!" in response to something you may have said. This is basically just his way of vocalising it in real life. I would probably ascribe that to him being fairly geeky, given the interests he's into (as well as the scarf eating). He sounds like quite a character.

Understand that while you think it's mixed signals, it's entirely likely he is blissfully unaware of sending any signals, let alone mixed signals. But I could be horribly wrong on that. Maybe it's more that you're seeking a confirmation-signal from him, but it hasn't appeared yet. Then, I would advise a bit more patience. I think you answered yourself; it's a mix of his anxiety and perhaps his inexperience with dating or something. I would say that the relationship between the two of you will reach an equilibrium after you've continued spending enough time together. So keep going as you are, and I expect it will just get better and better.

A key to lessening his anxiety around you might be to enquire about his interests of roleplaying and the Magic thing, even if your own interest in those is close to zero. It'll get him to open up about them and relax, because it's territory he's familiar with. Just.. be prepared for a lot of talk, if he's a chatterbox about it. If you try to get someone to talk about their prized interests, you could be opening the floodgates on that topic - but in the interests of stabilising his comfort levels, it could be worth it. ;x That's your call though.

IMO, don't listen to any of this. It's clear you're invested in this guy, why would you start considering other guys until you knew what was going on with this one??

He's not a headcase, he sounds really cool. As for him not chasing you, it could be because he doesn't know how or he's too anxious to (and remember this is amplified if he does like you, which sounds like he does). Your remark about him being appreciative of you asking him out because he was shy, reinforces this viewpoint. Once he gets comfortable, it'll balance out and he'll be more proactive in seeking you, I believe.

He certainly is not a hardcore case of LS, his initiating physical contact hints at that. I like the way you took time to find out information about him online, but, as mrping said, you get vexed a little too quickly when he doesn't reply. If the guy is indeed into you, he maybe unsure of himself and how to reply to your messages. If you want to start a long-lasting, healthy relationship with him, you're going to have to develop patience and perserverance.

Jesus, girl, RELAX. To me it definitely sounds like he likes you. You've caught the fish. It'll just take a bit of time to reel it in.

Bless your heart for this. The more women ask out (shy) men, the more the world will be a better place.

Either this guy ain't love-shy or he was drunk. In either case he likes you.

I apologize for my insensitivity but, ah, welcome to how it's like to be a dude.

He's putting himself out there for you. He's making himself _vulnerable_ for you. Be gentle with him!

So! You got any sisters?

Someone up there suggested asking him about that to get him to relax. I think that's good advice. But if you ask him about Magic out of the blue he might be put off a little. A warning.

Mixed signals? What mixed signals? He likes you. Try to relax.

the combination of treating you differently to everyone on the floor, and wanting to talk to you, means he definitely likes you, imo. men dont tend to avoid women we find unnattractive, we just act indifferent towards them, generally.

he sounds like his has somewhat mild LS. he is capable of showing sexuality, but I get the impression that he does so falteringly, and it probably scares him a lot to do so. he needs lots of positive reinforcement that you dont dislike what he's doing.
I think he speaks to you a lot easier on a "date" because he is expected to, in that context. theres no risk to it, whereas approaching someone in work or otherwise is a risk, it reveals your feelings, to an extent, and LS is all about fear of showing your romantic feelings to someone.

I wouldnt read too much into how long it takes him to return texts. he sounds like he might be an INTP (personality type), like me, somewhat. when faced with a difficult decision (like what to text back) we tend to postpone things and come back to them later, which we often forget to do anyway, since we get caught up in thought and lose track of everything else.

I'm not sure about the chewbacca noise but it sounds tragically hilarious

He doesn't love you enough. I suggest writing to some prisoners, preferably lifers.

So, I thought about replying to this thread, but everything I wanted to say has already been said. Just don't listen to exxie and I'm fairly certain cynik is joking.