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 Post subject: Re: Compliments
PostPosted: 15 Jun 2012, 23:03 
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I've been complimented a lot more by girls than I have by guys, usually it embarrasses me and makes me uncomfortable because I never know how to reciprocate. I'm a very critical person to the point where I rarely have anything good to say about anyone and if I do I feel very uncomfortable saying it. Like anyone who's critical the person who gets the full brunt of my criticism is myself, so when people point out good things about me it shocks me because I never take note of the things about me that are 'good.'

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 Post subject: Re: Compliments
PostPosted: 17 Jun 2012, 00:35 
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On the surface I'd smile and thank the girl, but in the back on my mind I couldn't help but think is she just trying to poke fun at my expense.

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 Post subject: Re: Compliments
PostPosted: 18 Jun 2012, 01:54 
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I got a complement a few days ago it was nice. She said i have a nice smile. i said thenk you and smiled.

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 Post subject: Re: Compliments
PostPosted: 18 Jun 2012, 18:24 
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I have a bad habit of complimenting people. It's not often received well. It's just so sad to be in a world that is so damaged, an honest positive affirmation is automatically rejected because people are so suspicious, or have so much self-loathing, or whatever. I just learned how to love myself, and be a happy person, and enjoy my sexuality, and be FREE of inhibitions. And I want to share it. But not everyone is ready for that sort of thing I guess.

It sometimes feels like I'm observing people from the outside of a prison cell.The door is suddenly open, and I got out! I'm free! And I want others to be free, too. But everyone's just too scared. And I don't judge them for that, but it just makes me sad. It just seems so unfair.

A dangerous thing is hope when you have nothing else.


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 Post subject: Re: Compliments
PostPosted: 21 Jun 2012, 03:46 
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Mirror wrote:
I have a bad habit of complimenting people. It's not often received well. It's just so sad to be in a world that is so damaged, an honest positive affirmation is automatically rejected because people are so suspicious, or have so much self-loathing, or whatever. I just learned how to love myself, and be a happy person, and enjoy my sexuality, and be FREE of inhibitions. And I want to share it. But not everyone is ready for that sort of thing I guess.

It sometimes feels like I'm observing people from the outside of a prison cell.The door is suddenly open, and I got out! I'm free! And I want others to be free, too. But everyone's just too scared. And I don't judge them for that, but it just makes me sad. It just seems so unfair.

A dangerous thing is hope when you have nothing else.

I agree that it's sad that people get suspicious about compliments. All that widespread cynicism can't be a good sign.

But not everyone who has inhibitions is trapped. If anything, they may see themselves as trapped by their id (pulsions, instincts); maybe their inhibitions keep them in line and help them be the person they really want to be.


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 Post subject: Re: Compliments
PostPosted: 21 Jun 2012, 14:35 
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Mirror wrote:
I have a bad habit of complimenting people. It's not often received well. It's just so sad to be in a world that is so damaged, an honest positive affirmation is automatically rejected because people are so suspicious, or have so much self-loathing, or whatever. I just learned how to love myself, and be a happy person, and enjoy my sexuality, and be FREE of inhibitions. And I want to share it. But not everyone is ready for that sort of thing I guess.

It sometimes feels like I'm observing people from the outside of a prison cell.The door is suddenly open, and I got out! I'm free! And I want others to be free, too. But everyone's just too scared. And I don't judge them for that, but it just makes me sad. It just seems so unfair.

A dangerous thing is hope when you have nothing else.


Some people just aren't ready to leave their prison yet ("their", as in, the prison is self-made). Some need a gentle push, some need leading by the hand, some can't be nudged in any way whatsoever, and in those cases you just have to remain encouraging and patient (a supremely difficult task).

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It's so obvious when you've figured it out. But everyone's puzzle is different. Everyone takes a different amount of time to figure it out. Some people aren't even aware they are doing a puzzle. You can't rush it. It takes as long as it needs. The instant of realisation puts everything up to that moment in a clear perspective.

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“Be without fear in the face of your enemies. Speak the truth, always, even if it leads to your death. Safeguard the helpless and do no wrong. That is your oath…” - Balian, Kingdom of Heaven (2005)
“Everything that happens once can never happen again. But everything that happens twice will surely happen a third time.” from 'The Alchemist', Paulo Coelho
"Train yourself to let go, of everything you fear to lose." - Yoda, Episode III
"I didn’t know how empty I was. She sustains me, she thrills me." - Marke, Tristan & Isolde (2006)
"There is a strange sense of reassurance in the inevitability of something." - Webley Tempest
"If you have no friends, you won't ever feel inferior." - Webley Tempest
'Omnia vincit amor.'
Thinking you have nothing to give


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 Post subject: Re: Compliments
PostPosted: 21 Jun 2012, 15:55 
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Webley Tempest wrote:
Some people just aren't ready to leave their prison yet ("their", as in, the prison is self-made). Some need a gentle push, some need leading by the hand, some can't be nudged in any way whatsoever, and in those cases you just have to remain encouraging and patient (a supremely difficult task).


Yeah, but sometimes people are like Otis Campbell on the Andy Griffith show. They are perfectly capable of getting out of their prison. The jailer leaves the cell open, and they even like being out every now and again. But they return to the prison because they don't trust themselves with the freedom. :( :(

I just found this clip funny since I was talking about old Otis :lol:

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 Post subject: Re: Compliments
PostPosted: 22 Jun 2012, 15:36 
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If a cute girl gives me a compliment, it will make me feel high, and I'll savor it over and over again in my head for at least a few days.

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this will never happen
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of course I think ABOUT it
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 Post subject: Re: Compliments
PostPosted: 22 Jun 2012, 20:00 
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Compliments from men will usually make me feel good for a little while, but compliments from women, especially if I find them attractive, can have a much more powerful effect, for better or worse; honestly I think that is typical for most men. Always though follows an intense awkwardness, as I don't really know how to reciprocate, and my only recently-rebuilt self-esteem isn't quite used to not hating itself yet. Typically if I try to give a compliment back it ends up being very awkward and ruins the conversation, so I don't really ever give compliments and outwardly project an aloof image, but on the inside I sometimes crave them. This is something I'm trying to change, that is, becoming a more "positive" person overall and remove the awkwardness of giving compliments. It has not been easy fighting against my own nature.


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 Post subject: Re: Compliments
PostPosted: 06 Aug 2012, 04:02 
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I tend to over analyze things so it really depends on many factors and circumstances. I tend to receive compliments within a work context, i.e. Coffee shop girl, waitress/bartender, cashier at supermarket. I also work in a service industry where I am also on the other side of the employee-customer dynamic. I tend to view these as this person is simply being nice because it is their job to be polite. Customers I think are usually trying to get me to move them down to better seats at an event.

In many other circumstances I still have that layer of doubt wrt to the validity of the compliment and find reasons that they would give that compliment.


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