Maybe the neighbour wanted to be kind and advise me to stop worrying.

that was the implication. sometimes people withhold the truth of something from you, because they've taken it upon themselves to decide for you whether or not you should hear it.

Yeah that was the first thing that popped into my head when I read the email from my friend's neighbour. My friend isn't happy.

I wonder if my friend is really ok???

Of course not, that is your own fear of rejection speaking.

Fonduman explained very well both your friend and the neighbour

Go and ask him

How come the neighbour has your emailadress. Have I missed something

it's not as simple as that i'm afraid. my friend is severely isolated. that's why i wanted to know what effects isolation has on a person. my friend has been isolated for over 18 months now. it's really hard to try and reach him. where i should be strong and handling this better. instead i am weak, filled with fear, anxiety and self doubt.

my friend's neighbour took my contact details almost a year ago .in between that time, i have been emailing the neighbour to keep an eye on my friend.

in your opinion does that reply from the neighbour sound like a brush off? it sounds like me to me the neighbour cares for my wellbeing and is trying to stop me from worrying.

Yes as long as your friend don't really sincerely tells you to stop
Keep going

i will try. i'm physically exhausted right now.

i'm glad i went today. at least he has the note.

if it means anything, I think it's very admirable that you are willing to have so much patience and go so far for him. Most guys on this site, our experiences have been that practically every woman we've came across wouldn't give us 2 minutes of their time unless we could demonstrate within the first 10 seconds that we were entertaining enough to be worth it.

it's also sad, in a way. I see women here making huge efforts to get through to guys that seem to be almost beyond saving. and I see guys that need only a little kindness that get nothing at all. (This isn't a comment on anyone's character by the way, just an unfortunate coincidence.)

thank you for the reply. i really appreciate it.

it's nice to see that people see my intentions for the way they are. i used to be on a forum and they called me horriable names. it stayed with me for a long time. still have not gotten over it.

i know my friend loves being with people who care about him in person. i have a better chance of reaching him by doing that.

as the woman said, focus on the things that do work. go and talk to him outside his front door every couple of weeks. build something this way.

in the meantime i need to work on my confidence and putting my needs in charge.

Maybe his not withholding anything back. He justs wants me to look after my own needs.

Girls these days are born, bred, and trained well in the art of deciding in seconds on whether or not a relationship that should last 50 years will end. You really should envy them.

I found a really good site that explains why depressed people push others away? It explains a lot about my friend's behaviour.

Could you share the URL?

Here is the link: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index ... 148AAtftyj

It helps. This whole time I took his behaviour personally. Now I will no longer do that.