After having another love deception, I am thinking seriously about the idea of staying alone for the rest of my life, but I think it is almost impossible, because I still want to have a girlfriend, which will be impossible for me for being a love-shy person.

For all those who are older than me, (I'm 25)... did you get used to be alone until now? Is it even possible to keep yourself alone without affecting your self-esteem?

I try, but I fail.

Turning 29 next month, and I'm becoming pretty accepting of my permacel. Yes, I'm concerned about loneliness, but just making some regular friends is a more realistic solution than finding a girlfriend.

What happened, if you don't mind me asking?

I'm not older than you, but you don't sound okay with the idea of staying alone all your life. I suppose the idea of ever trying again feels pointless to you right now; it's better that way. Needing a girlfriend so much is asking for trouble anyway; very few girls ever need men as much as we need them.

Just take a break and seek other passions, make the most of your freedom even if you didn't choose it. Whether we like it or not, the heart grows stronger with each wound. Colder, definitely, but stronger.

I view loneliness as my future. I would feel lonely even with the temporary presence of girlfriend. I just view life as lonely walk towards death. Lonely dreams. Lonely decisions. Lonely thoughts. Only mine. Random connections, most of them meaningless. Observing, not participating. I see loneliness as a possible catalyst for a more purposeful and engaging life and an avenue for heightened self-awareness. Also as my potential killer. But I will die anyway. Sooner or later.

Yeah, there are times I need to have someone near me. A woman. A friend. Someone, who really cares. But their lifes are their own. People come and go. They almost never stay. Immersed in their own problematic worlds.

Yes. I may only be 26, but trust me when I say that I've hit rock bottom in more ways than just one. How do I know I've hit rock bottom? All I do is work and sleep/sleep and work these days (Hell... I'm at work right now as we speak; getting 6 hours OT just for working on Memorial Day). I don't have any "hobbies", "interests" or "friends". And best of all, I don't feel "lonely" anymore.

I think it's improbable. They say time heals all things, but it can errode things too, gradually. I don't know. For me, it wasn't really a conscious decision or realisation. I don't drink or smoke, and so don't really go out, and I suppose that contributed to this. I get by through losing myself in my PC games. If I didn't have those, I think I might have gone insane by now. I don't think of the future, I kind of just think as far as the next few days. Over time you just get numb to it, and slide into apathy. You'll feel so far apart from society, that you just shrug at it.

In my early forties here. Life-long single.

It is a daily struggle, but I will say it gets a little easier after your thirties end. You know by your forties society has deemed you (correctly or not) "strange" because you haven't fathered children, have not been married and you don't have sex 24/7 like the media and popular culture expects every single man to behave like.

I am right now pulling out of a mild funk.....the first one in awhile....anyway, when I see a dad pushing a stroller with a few kids in it, and the wife or baby-momma is yapping on her celli, is overweight, kids are screaming, he looks beyond tired, she's griping about why he "doesn't get a better job" or what all her "friends have, and she doesn't"

I have to think about THAT guy. I think, "dude, was it worth it? Really?"

I look good for my age. I know that is hard to believe if you are in your twenties and someone who is in their forties say "I look good for my age." Bear with me.

We men do have the advantage here. Women's beauty fades, something THEY put a lot more value on. Something THEY compare each other by. Men, we get weatherbeaten, rugged, and we tend to age a bit more gracefully than women. Yeah, I have to get off my duff and do stuff to keep my 32" waist at a 32".

I wish I had a gf. I do. I wish I was "endeared" a bit more by women. I wish a woman would actually "talk" to me to "see" if she would like to get to know me better and in a more intimate way.

I have a lot of activities now, and somedays I can honestly say that I am glad I don't have some snarly girlfriend because somedays I actually wouldn't have the time to hang out with her.

I don't know if it is possible to live alone for life....ask me when I get there

Being single and alone HONESTLY isn't as evil as the infamous "they" out there makes it out to be.

No its not possible to remain alone without hurting your self-esteem but what choice is there.

I call bullshit on this. "Self-esteem" has little to nothing to do with my current situation. I agree that the life that I live is an odd one, but I also know that my "self-worth" (as a 26 year old male) at least trumps that of the PUAs and the scam artists who only care for the small things in life. What I'm after is greater. What I'm after is more complex. In some small way, I still stand for justice. But now, I wreak of vengence.

I wreak of ineffectiveness so what difference does all my indignation and rage against the machine make.

Yes it's possible to get used to being girlfriendless (which is probably a better term for this since not having a girlfriend doesn't equate to being alone). I've gotten quite used to it and the prospect of never having a girlfriend doesn't bother me as much as it used to. The physical side (i.e. lack of sex) is taken care of by prostitutes every now and then, and the side of me that desires understanding companionship is fulfilled by dogs (who are often better companions than humans since they at least don't screw us over for a fucking percentage).

I heard a joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life is harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. The great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says, "But doctor... I am Pagliacci." Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.

Justice? Justice is coming to all of us. No matter what the hell we do.

Don't worry, man, it's good to ask when needed

Well, I explained this in my last topic but I'll explain it again: the girl who I've been in love for more than a year started again a long distance relationship with a guy that she met in Belgium when she was 15 or 16 and, besides, she went to another city because of her studies. Some really bad things I learned about her thanks to some friends helped me to (try to) forget all I felt for her.

My problem now is that I feel I'm getting too "old" to stay without living many things that many people younger than me lived more than once, you know: dating, having a couple etc... and yes, you're right, only thinking abut the idea of staying alone for the rest of my life makes me feel bad.

And concerneing your advice about finding something to forget all this... well, I've been playing guitar since I was 13 and it helped me a lot to focus myself, but now the problem got stronger and sometimes I can't stop thinking about the problem.