I wish I didn't feel this way, but I do.

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Honey23Bee/photos

This is the woman who finally e-mailed me to tell me she thought I was interested and wanted to get to know more about me. The real sad thing is how much time I spent staring at that picture, trying to convince myself that I could get attracted to her once I got to know her, but the truth is, I just can't! And this isn't the first time this sort of instance has happened. Whatever happened to mutual attraction? Why can't I find this? Is it so hard, with more people on this earth than ever before, that I can find someone I'd like to go out with who likes me back?

Sometimes I go around in public and see young couples, and I can't help but resent them. They actually are attracted to each other. Not only do they find their personalities compatible, but they actually get off just looking at each other. Why are incels barred from such a common experience?! Why? What is that even like?

I feel ashamed of myself because deep down, I think, turning a woman down disqualifies me from being incel. But the truth is, I tried! I sometimes wish I could drink a magic potion and force myself to be attracted to women who are attracted to me, because then that would end my grief. Instead, all it seems like I end up doing is finding someone I'm willing to settle for, rather than someone I can actually like!

If you're not physically attracted at all that's fine. While I understand that feeling of guilt, there's no need for it, it's OK to have healthy standards. What point would there be to starting relationships you know would cause nothing but grief right from the start?

Also...that's one seriously large woman.

Yeah, I had a rather large woman wink at me on match.com and friend request me on fb. I didn't respond cause I didn't wanna get her hopes up, assuming she was actually attracted to me and not an attention whore. I s'pose I could have responded, but I didn't even see a friendship coming out of it, so I declined. Nothing wrong with that, at all.

I don't think there's much benefit to acting interested in a girl that you aren't actually attracted to. The only benefit that I can see is gaining some experience with dating (what to expect in that situation, how to tell if you're getting a positive reaction), at the expense of fucking with her emotions. If you don't feel any attraction to her now, then will you be disgusted if she tries to fuck you? Will you be content knowing that you've committed yourself to a woman that you aren't proud to be with, and don't have any sort of animalistic passion for? I understand your feeling of guilt, I've been there, but every way that I've analyzed it, it is not a net gain to comprise entirely on your standards and try to force yourself to feign attraction.

Clearly better to not be 'incel', if that does disqualify you, btw.

When you stared at the picture, you should have been asking yourself "What is wrong with this picture?" The backgrounds of several of the pics are just plain weird: some guy's elbow, refrigerator collection, mug shot of some black guy?

"I am usually in Norfolk hangs out with my best friend and his roommates kids, watching him work on his car, and just enjoying the company. "

I don't believe this woman is 31 y.o. More like 51 I would guess. A 31 y.o. woman should not look so bad, it's only a few years older than the 20's which should be her prime, so if she is really 31 she might have some other hidden problems.

You should always question every "fact" they list on these profiles. When you find the lies, you feel much better about ignoring the person.

She's looking for a "man who will sweep her off her feet". Looks damn difficult to do. She's going to need one hell of a man.

I enjoy your posts OP but I can hardly bear to read them as your avatar hurts my eyes, it's that repulsive. If you like ugly things so much you may as well go for her.

I have had that a couple of times in online dating too. lack of physical attraction sucks. Not that my standards are that high. luckily enough, the times it did happen, she also turned out to be illiterate and stuck up, so it was a lot easier rejecting her for that than for looks.
any girl who says she wants to be "swept off her feet" is instantly a no. screams entitlement princess. I guess I can understand a kind of secret fantasy involving things like that, but you don't boldly state it on your profile like it's perfectly reasonable to demand.

This is good advice. There is not much I can add. When I was on OKc I found that an unatractive woman sent me a message. Needless to say I didn't reply. This sort of thing does not make one exempt from being LS. LS kicks in when you're around women that YOU are attracted to. In my case I find it, or should I say, - found it easier to speak with women I found sexualy repulsive because I knew there was no way I would go beyond an ordinary casual conversation with. I say used to because I discovered that I really did not have any obligations to be friendly to people I didn't actualy like.

It's like this. Suposing there is this car you want and this bloke says he'll trade, but it turns out there is nothing of yours he wants to swap, so he doesn't give you his car, even though you really want that particular type. Now imagine the reverse, you have a rare car that you are willing to trade for a certain motorbike. Someone comes up to you and says he wants your car but has nothing to offer. What do you do? Do you feel guilty and think you should give the poor fellow your prize collectable, simply because he thinks he's entitled to it? No you tell him to take a hike.

By the looks of things this woman has absolutely nothing you could want. If I were you I'd look at some pictures of women you find attractive to remind yourself of the difference. Put it another way, suposing you want an e-type Jag, or maybe you'd settle for a reliable Saab that's in good condition. Someone then offers you an old clapped out rust bucket of a jallopy. You'd tell them to take a hike. Some things in this world are toxic assets. Not all that does not glitter is necessarily gold. Sometimes you CAN judge a book by it's cover. This is one such case.

It was the refrigerators that really bothered me. Some people keep a refrigerator in the garage and load it up with beer, but why does she need 3 refrigerators in the garage, and you can assume she has several more elsewhere plus a freezer probably?

I might message her and ask how many she owns total: 4? 6? 12? Is she a compulsive hoarder of TV dinners?

Sounds like we have a couple of entitlement princesses in this thread. Picky picky picky.

Agreed.



Agreed, his avatar is hard to look at.

To the OP, Conventional wisdom says the following:

1. People should date people of relative attractiveness.
2. People should date anyone if they're dateless.

1. I disagree. You should aim for the hottest chick. Finding a hot chick has more to do with being in the right place at the right time than with any law of equilibrium. There are enough couples with drastic differences of attraction to indicate an average or below average man can get a hot chick.

2. I disagree. In order to be around anyone for any extended amount of time the relationship needs to be sustainable.

Temporary passions can be released into a prostitute, which will be much hotter.

You're free to go fuck her.

, my thoughts exactly!

I'd rather remain single my entire life than end up with an obese chick!
I'm not all that picky when it comes to looks. I'll date blonds, brunettes, red heads, dark haired, asian, caucasian, latino, skinny, a lil chubby, round face, thin face, etc, it doesn't matter.

But I won't date a woman who can't take care of herself. That's basically my one essential requirement, that a woman can physically maintain her health, that's it! It's downright pathetic that someone could allow themselves to get like that, she doesn't need a boyfriend, she needs serious help.