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PostPosted: 16 Aug 2012, 21:20 
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This thread is by no means advocating to give up, but at the very least, trying to find peace with yourself and moving on. Almost every hour, the reality of me not being desired really hurts more than any break-up can do, because at the very least, that person was in a relationship, and in most cases, will find somebody again.

The fact that I have only been in one sexless relationship, and haven't found anybody since really destroys my ego and self-esteem. Especially when I try to be upbeat, helpful, and an all-around great guy. What makes matters worse is that the overwhelming majority of people have little to no trouble finding a suitor and information on incel is limited at best.

There are times where I wish I was a drug-addict or alcholic just for the sheer fact that there are known conditions and are support groups for that. Incel on the other hand isn't known to the public and when its brought up, its easily dismissed as something irrevelant or laughable.

So, that being said, can anybody come up with ways to live with it so it dosen't affect how you live your life? Granted I want to beat it at some point, but if I don't ever do so, I want to at least enjoy my life and gain a peace of mind.

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PostPosted: 16 Aug 2012, 22:05 
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To accept incel, become a drug addict or join a religion and look forward to your life in heaven.

Or, to reject incel, visit prostitutes regularly until you can get out of the femisphere and date reasonable women.

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PostPosted: 17 Aug 2012, 03:37 
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You never really accept it.

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PostPosted: 17 Aug 2012, 03:42 
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nookie monster wrote:
You never really accept it.


Never say never. I accepted it.

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PostPosted: 17 Aug 2012, 11:08 
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You can try to help yourself (improving looks, buying good clothes, earning good money, working on your speech etc.) . If it doesnt work you can give up and try something else to cure the pain of incel.

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PostPosted: 17 Aug 2012, 13:52 
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nookie monster wrote:
You never really accept it.


I'm never going to accept it. Why? Because it's unacceptable. Everyone else gets to experience human intimacy and closeness, and I don't? Screw that noise.

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PostPosted: 17 Aug 2012, 15:07 
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Adam82 wrote:
nookie monster wrote:
You never really accept it.


I'm never going to accept it. Why? Because it's unacceptable. Everyone else gets to experience human intimacy and closeness, and I don't? Screw that noise.


Good attitude. Never give up. I am still fighting my oneitism, and I will die trying to
defeat it.

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PostPosted: 17 Aug 2012, 15:36 
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Y'know, I don't think I'll ever truly accept it assuming it dosen't get cured after a certain amount of time, its always going to at least be a minor nuisance to me. I at least want to bring it to a tolerable level if thats possible. Making changes to what is associated with successful noncels will have a feel-good boost at first, but results must follow, or else I'll be more depressed over it. In fact, you shouldn't make improvements with the expectation of getting out of incel because the second it dosen't happen, you'll be more devastated than before.


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PostPosted: 17 Aug 2012, 17:31 
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You can accept that you're incel or loveshy in the present moment, but that doesn't mean you'll be like that forever. Change is very much possible. Fashion, hairstyle, teeth whitening, getting muscular are easy enough to change. But changing your mannerisms, behaviors, and improving your social skills so you can rack up experience with women is much more difficult and takes a lot of time and practice.


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PostPosted: 17 Aug 2012, 20:56 
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Hopeless_Romantic wrote:
You can accept that you're incel or loveshy in the present moment, but that doesn't mean you'll be like that forever. Change is very much possible. Fashion, hairstyle, teeth whitening, getting muscular are easy enough to change. But changing your mannerisms, behaviors, and improving your social skills so you can rack up experience with women is much more difficult and takes a lot of time and practice.


But here's the real connundrum, people with the worst social skills are in relationships whereas there are incels with socially active lives. I try to be comforting, open to listening, ask questions myself, yet 10 minutes into the conversation, I hear her talk about her boyfriend. Once she says that, I'm pooched and have to find ANOTHER female in that situation who is single, and the single women my age is decreasing with each passing day.

My therapist suggested to me that I should expand my social life(its pretty stagnant at the moment), yet I have no trouble making friends, and at one point, had an adequte social life. I've even made friends with females. The problem is breaking the friendship barrier. Its like I'm the funny fat man, but when I try to get serious, its always "No Sam, it wasn't meant to be, I like you as a friend."

I just don't think incelibacy has as much to do with social skills as previously believed. Considering the complexity of humanity, what is "acting right" when you have people with all sorts of personalities and flaws in relationships?


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PostPosted: 17 Aug 2012, 21:58 
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Donbot wrote:
Hopeless_Romantic wrote:
You can accept that you're incel or loveshy in the present moment, but that doesn't mean you'll be like that forever. Change is very much possible. Fashion, hairstyle, teeth whitening, getting muscular are easy enough to change. But changing your mannerisms, behaviors, and improving your social skills so you can rack up experience with women is much more difficult and takes a lot of time and practice.


But here's the real connundrum, people with the worst social skills are in relationships whereas there are incels with socially active lives. I try to be comforting, open to listening, ask questions myself, yet 10 minutes into the conversation, I hear her talk about her boyfriend. Once she says that, I'm pooched and have to find ANOTHER female in that situation who is single, and the single women my age is decreasing with each passing day.

My therapist suggested to me that I should expand my social life(its pretty stagnant at the moment), yet I have no trouble making friends, and at one point, had an adequte social life. I've even made friends with females. The problem is breaking the friendship barrier. Its like I'm the funny fat man, but when I try to get serious, its always "No Sam, it wasn't meant to be, I like you as a friend."

I just don't think incelibacy has as much to do with social skills as previously believed. Considering the complexity of humanity, what is "acting right" when you have people with all sorts of personalities and flaws in relationships?


This is true. I have a friend who is 57 years old and hasn't had a girlfriend or sex in over 30 years. He has tons of friends, both men and women, has a great job and an active social life. But he's overweight, dresses like a bum, and looks like Quasimodo. Whenever I ask him about dating, he tells me that it isn't even in the realm of possibility. So this myth about "meeting more people", "getting out there more", etc. is a waste of time.

I've been working out for 23 years, I try to participate in social activities, I invite women to coffee, etc. But all my efforts have been in vain. Women are either into you or they're not. In my case, they never have been.

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PostPosted: 18 Aug 2012, 01:05 
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Donbot wrote:
Hopeless_Romantic wrote:
You can accept that you're incel or loveshy in the present moment, but that doesn't mean you'll be like that forever. Change is very much possible. Fashion, hairstyle, teeth whitening, getting muscular are easy enough to change. But changing your mannerisms, behaviors, and improving your social skills so you can rack up experience with women is much more difficult and takes a lot of time and practice.


But here's the real connundrum, people with the worst social skills are in relationships whereas there are incels with socially active lives. I try to be comforting, open to listening, ask questions myself, yet 10 minutes into the conversation, I hear her talk about her boyfriend. Once she says that, I'm pooched and have to find ANOTHER female in that situation who is single, and the single women my age is decreasing with each passing day.

My therapist suggested to me that I should expand my social life(its pretty stagnant at the moment), yet I have no trouble making friends, and at one point, had an adequte social life. I've even made friends with females. The problem is breaking the friendship barrier. Its like I'm the funny fat man, but when I try to get serious, its always "No Sam, it wasn't meant to be, I like you as a friend."

I just don't think incelibacy has as much to do with social skills as previously believed. Considering the complexity of humanity, what is "acting right" when you have people with all sorts of personalities and flaws in relationships?


Most frustrating thing ever. :headsmack:


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PostPosted: 18 Aug 2012, 02:19 
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All humans have their flaws, and I see flawed people in relationships all the time. Why is it just us, then, who are left out?

_________________
Cenobite wrote:
I am talented. And interesting. Not my fault that women prefer dickheads. Their loss....NOT mine.



Not_Your_Average_Joe wrote:

People were created to be loved.
Things were created to be used.
The reason why the world is in chaos,
is because things are being loved,
and people are being used.


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PostPosted: 18 Aug 2012, 02:59 
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Adam82 wrote:
All humans have their flaws, and I see flawed people in relationships all the time. Why is it just us, then, who are left out?


Its a conspiracy I's tell ya.


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PostPosted: 18 Aug 2012, 07:45 
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Do you really want to spend your life getting kicked in the nuts?

No?

Then give up.

Accept the fact, that the only way you will ever get sex/intimacy is if you pay for it.

Then go ahead and enjoy life. Photography is a great thing to focus your energies upon.

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