Ive already posted here without a proper introduction

My name is Alex, a Private First Class in the US Army, i've been in the military for almost 3 years, I am 22 years old, stil a virgin dispite my efforts, (3 attempts to get a woman to love me. . . ) whos looking for help and support here to deal with my LS and, hopefully, find a wife.

My mother constantly asks me to give her a grandson, not realizing the situation that I am in, my peers in my unit pressure me to get a girlfriend not knowing that I want a long term relationship. They give me tips on how to pleasure a woman sexually, this is extremely conter-productive and insulting, how am I going to please a woman if i cant get one to at least kiss me, besides i want tips on how to be a good husband, how to talk to women without looking like a creep (none of that PUA horseshit, If you are a PUA, You are a predator feeding on the good intentions of single men who want a meaningful relationship!!!!) i hope this forum will help me find my future wife, all help will be appreciated and all replies will be answered. please read my first post written by me and reply, again all help will be appreciated.

The Lonely Soldier,

You should not be in a hurry to get married to make your mother happy. You should only get married if it's what will make you happy. Your needs should always come first - family second. Also, Fonduman gave you some pretty good replies in your other (Please help!!) thread and I don't feel that there's anything more I could qualitatively add. Unfortunately, I don't think anyone here is able to help you. Not to sound unsympathetic, but we all share the same problem and most of us are in no position to help ourselves let alone anyone else with this issue. I don't want to scare you, but I am twice your age and I am still as incel and virginal as I was half a lifetime ago. The prognosis for incel men (regardless of cause) is very grim I'm afraid and the prognosis gets worse with each passing year. I know it's really not what you are wanting to hear right now, but most of us guys here will ordinarily succumb to 1 of 3 fates:

1. a short-term relationship that will invariably end badly for the guy (best case scenario)
--this could be the only sexual relationship they ever experience after many unsuccessful years of trying, or
--they may experience another sexual relationship, but only after many years or even decades have passed

2. the guy will go to his grave having never experienced the warm embrace of a woman's touch, not even once (most likely scenario)
--the most affection they will ever get from a woman may be a firm handshake from a woman who friendzones him

3. the guy will break down and give in to his carnal desires by renting the services of a prostitute/escort.
--in the end though, he will still suffer the same sense of suffocating loneliness the rest of us suffer

There is nothing I would like to do more than to help a fellow veteran, but there's nothing I can really offer you other than my heartfelt sympathy. I do have a few questions for you though.

What is your MOS?

Are you stationed CONUS or overseas?

Are you looking exclusively at military women, civilian women, or both?

Welcome man. No, you are not alone. We're all in the same boat.

The chances do reduce every year that you remain involuntarily celibate, which is the bad news. It can happen, though. The good news is that you still have youth on your side, and time to try to end this before it's too late.

MOS 94A Landcombat Electronic Missile System Repairer, Repairs targeting systems on the TOW, Javalin and Dragon missile systems

Currently in Puerto Rico In the National Guard Transferring to Active Duty to Ft. Riley, Kansas

Does not matter, someone willing to be my wife, thank you fo the posts in my other thread, you and the others saved me from making the dumbest mistake of my life (suicide).

Rushing into a marriage is bad business. If/when it falls apart, on top of the emotional fallout, you have to deal with the financial clusterfuck (and of course, the male gets the short end of the stick every time). I know it firsthand... if I could rewind time, I would've never married, even if it meant that I wouldn't have progressed beyond long-distance relationship with my ex-wife.

In the long run it only made me more depressed and bitter, and poorer to boot.

I see, but. . . I cant help but feel that my time is running out, that i'll never feel something that was never given to me in my life. . . someone who can understand me, someone who can be there for me, I'm not trying to be dependant but being single brings me one step closer to my early grave, I've even had nightmares of me dying from lonelyness and sadness. . .

Dude, you need to get some help.

First step is to get that V card from around your neck. That's what hookers are for.

It would be helpful if you posted in this thread why you think you're incel. All of us have issues which contribute to our incel status; some of those issues are changeable and others are not. If we knew what your's are, we might be able to give better advice.

When I was in high school, there was this beautiful girl i had a deep crush on, i dreamed about me and her together, it was so nerve wracking that i did not have the courage to talk to her, i told my couselor about my feelings for her and the fact that thinking about her sexually made me feel dirty, i had the mind set that it was bad if you lusted after a woman, that you have to treat a woman with respect, etc, etc. . .

he told me that a least talk to her and be yourself, that she will love you for who you are. Not good at all, i did try to talk to her, i did what the counselor told me but she told me that i was not meant to be with her, that if we were in college we would be together. I did at least hoped that i would meet her in college so we can be together. One night i was chatting with my only friend on msn, it soon became the worst time of my life.

I told him about me and her and what she told me, he was confused, he told me that she lied to me because she was dating some guy, he showed me his picture, the guy has a sixpack abs, plays guitar, ias rich and drives a BMW, I WAS FURIOUS. . .

I confronted her the next day and she told me that I was not sexy enough to be with her, that I was out of her league. . .

I got so depressed that I wanted to kill myself. . .

plus the fact that my mom wants a grandson and has been presuring me since I enlisted

to this day i feel that i am not good enogh for a girl, i still want to kill myself, i almost did with my rifle. . .

Maybe I am not good enough at all. . .

I believe Ft. Riley is near Manhattan, KS which is a big college town (Kansas State University). There might be some opportunities there to meet a college girl since you are 22, especially if you take advantage of the Army's tuition assistance and take a class or two. You're in a very technical field so I'm assuming you're a reasonably intelligent guy. I would also recommend you stop letting your mother pressure you with all this grandchild nonsense at 22 and start living your life on your own terms; you don't need your mother to compound the stress you're already feeling about your incel situation. I think putting some geographic distance between you two by moving from PR to KS could actually be good for you in this regard also. Give yourself a year at your new duty station in KS to see how the change of venue goes for you before you do anything rash. You have a difficult task ahead of you, so I wish you the best.

From what I gather, you seem to have issues with your sexuality which you feel ashamed of. All I can say is that lusting after a girl and showing interest in one is not wrong, sexual feelings aren't dirty. I nor anyone else here probably will probably be able to cure you of this. I hate to say it as all of us hate to hear it, but therapy may be of help here.

He is a victim of Christian hypocrisy.

Welcome, Alex!


"They give me tips on how to pleasure a woman sexually, this is extremely conter-productive and insulting, how am I going to please a woman if i cant get one to at least kiss me"

Yup, I know what it feels. It´s like be a deaf man receiving classes of musical composition.

But trust me... the thing is different in the ground of sexuality. Those advices aren´t useless. If you manage to get a girl in your bed, it will be ABSOLUTELY NECESARY to know some basic principles of sexual intercourse. Believe me: get a girl inside your bed and then discover (at the moment of the "action") that you don´t know a fuck about how to kiss her / caress her / touch her / lick her... is HORRIBLE.


And she may reject you for that.


So, this is my personal advice: Listen to that tips they give you. It is painful, I know. They are putting a razorbalde in your scar. But in this case, that´s a necessary pain: YOU NEED TO KNOW how to sexually intereact with a woman.

Ther is an alternative way: you can read books/literature on the matter instead of listen the advices directly from your peers. It may be more comfortable...