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 Post subject: No-man's-land
PostPosted: 13 Feb 2011, 02:44 
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I feel like i'm trapped in wackyland. Lost without a oneitis, no girl around to devote my attention to. No girls around at all really. My social pond is drying up, I am just lost. I try to connect with people I went to school with on facebook, but i guess i'm a weirdo. I miss oneitis, It gave me something to work toward or at least think I was working toward.
As if finding a girl wasn't hard enough already I have to have this shy crap. I feel like if I woke up an alpha tomorrow I still wouldn't know where to begin. I don't know anyone.

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 Post subject: Re: No-man's-land
PostPosted: 13 Feb 2011, 03:21 
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mrping wrote:
I feel like i'm trapped in wackyland. Lost without a oneitis, no girl around to devote my attention to. No girls around at all really. My social pond is drying up, I am just lost. I try to connect with people I went to school with on facebook, but i guess i'm a weirdo. I miss oneitis, It gave me something to work toward or at least think I was working toward.
As if finding a girl wasn't hard enough already I have to have this shy crap. I feel like if I woke up an alpha tomorrow I still wouldn't know where to begin. I don't know anyone.


welcome to the waestlande, my oneitises are all gone. fire for the last one went out a few days ago, and theres no hope of relighting it. now im just looking at pictures of a girl who once resided in my town for a time who was rather pretty, keeps me from getting too restless.


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 Post subject: Re: No-man's-land
PostPosted: 13 Feb 2011, 03:29 
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mrping wrote:
I feel like i'm trapped in wackyland. Lost without a oneitis, no girl around to devote my attention to. No girls around at all really. My social pond is drying up, I am just lost. I try to connect with people I went to school with on facebook, but i guess i'm a weirdo. I miss oneitis, It gave me something to work toward or at least think I was working toward.
As if finding a girl wasn't hard enough already I have to have this shy crap. I feel like if I woke up an alpha tomorrow I still wouldn't know where to begin. I don't know anyone.


QFE, except for the shyness part.


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 Post subject: Re: No-man's-land
PostPosted: 13 Feb 2011, 18:13 
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scratch that, it got too lonely without thinking of the old girl Sophie.


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 Post subject: Re: No-man's-land
PostPosted: 14 Feb 2011, 00:52 
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You could try picking up a hobby? Some kind of sport, or .. I dunno. Whatever activity you find enjoyable and involves a risk of meeting females. Yeah I know, sounds easier than it is.

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 Post subject: Re: No-man's-land
PostPosted: 14 Feb 2011, 00:59 
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You mentioned elsewhere that you've already tried online dating, right? I'm with Caps up there. Are there no hobby groups for anything in your area?

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 Post subject: Re: No-man's-land
PostPosted: 14 Feb 2011, 10:34 
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MajorSeventh wrote:
You mentioned elsewhere that you've already tried online dating, right? I'm with Caps up there. Are there no hobby groups for anything in your area?


yeah i've tried my hand at it... i'm not willing to pay for anything though. I don't even know where to look for hobby groups. I find ways to fill my time. But with a oneitis i guess i feel like i have "a way out." A possible solution to my lifelong problem. Currently all I've got is the occasional glimpse of a hot girl, but they fade from memory quickly.

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 Post subject: Re: No-man's-land
PostPosted: 14 Feb 2011, 12:17 
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I don't know your situation well enough for much further advice. If you are really poor, I see why money is a problem. But otherwise, I'd say that paying for a hobby is very much worth it. It's an investment in yourself.

Also, I'm not sure how socially isolated you are. If you are living in a big city but not getting out much, you definately should try to do something positive. If you are living in an experimental station on the South Pole, there is little you can do, unfortunately, except maybe meet some pinguins. ;-)

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 Post subject: Re: No-man's-land
PostPosted: 15 Feb 2011, 01:14 
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i meant pay for online dating... I've dumped a lot of money into hobbies, i've got somewhere around 500 dollars worth of paintball gear sitting around the house, 800 in ski equipment, who knows how much i've spent on my xbox 360 i've got a lot of games.

oh and also i'm in a decent sized city, rockin the suburbs not far from a commuter university. Not much to do around here though... I'm about 30 minutes from a big city though much more to do there

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 Post subject: Re: No-man's-land
PostPosted: 19 Feb 2011, 13:45 
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mrping wrote:
I feel like i'm trapped in wackyland. Lost without a oneitis, no girl around to devote my attention to. No girls around at all really. My social pond is drying up, I am just lost. I try to connect with people I went to school with on facebook, but i guess i'm a weirdo. I miss oneitis, It gave me something to work toward or at least think I was working toward.
As if finding a girl wasn't hard enough already I have to have this shy crap. I feel like if I woke up an alpha tomorrow I still wouldn't know where to begin. I don't know anyone.


I know this feeling. That 'back to square one', back to nothing feeling. It is so hard to overcome a oneitis. I still think about mine all the time. I don't work at the same place as her anymore, so it's unlikely I will see her, but I can't stop her from entering my thoughts. Last saw her about a month ago, and she congratulated me on my new job, and said we should do coffee or something. There is no replacement oneitis at my new job, so she's likely to be on my mind for some time to come.

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 Post subject: Re: No-man's-land
PostPosted: 19 Feb 2011, 16:55 
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Guys this is the wasteland we live in.

Adam82, you know I really can sympathize with your posts because they remind me so much of me. Well I bet you remind most of the forums members of themselves.

Now the only trouble I have is almost ALL your posts wallow in self pity. But where are your suggestions for fixing this?? Where?

Guys we all know where we are. I've had to ditch my social circle and delete all my oneitis' from facebook and my phone.

I've got a diary and I'm doing my gym routines, quit my job and I am opening sets everyday. Gradually beating my approach anxiety.

You know there are some people in the world that you can strip of their worldly possession dump them in some remote country and they will find friends and a partner in no time.

Others, like us who are angry at the whole fucking system... we have to keep telling ourselves not to be angry. Keep telling ourselves to smile. Keep telling ourselves to go out into the streets and approach strangers. We know this is the only way to correct years of piss poor social standings.

So if you're gonna moan...Why not offer a solution as well?

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Now to all the others who are love-shy who have sit there passively agreeing that this seems like too much work or that 'other guys who are naturally confident don't need to do this to get a girlfriend so why should I?'

This is your fucking wake up call so listen up and listen carefully. You are NOT like everyone else, this is why you suck in potential relationship situations. If I told you had to practice playing the piano to get good at it you wouldn't disagree with me. The same is with women. To give yourselves the slightest chance at succeeding you need to be doing something like this EVERY fucking day.

And I'm not over-exaggerating. Every mother fucking day because it could take years to undo what we have become.

Any of the others who agree with what I've written but who have said they lack the motivation to do this... Listen up closely.
Being told you have love-shyness is like being told you have a death sentence. That's right, if you sit around and do nothing, nothing is going to change. Every second that ticks by is a second closer to the end of your life.

Be thankful you've diagnosed yourself with love-shyness now rather then in another ten years time because you're life is running out.
If you're twenty and you know you've got Love-shyness get moving. If you're thirty and you know you've got love-shyness get moving.

If you knew about this at thirty and did nothing and ten years later you're posting crap on these forums sounding like you're gonna go awol with a machine gun you're a fucking class A idiot for being so stupid to have not taken any action and expecting things to have changed. I, for one, know I don't want to be that person in another ten years time.

So just to be clear... If you want to passively sit there and present circular arguments to make you feel better:

'I can't learn to dance, it's innate no amount of practice will help. I want to be more confident around girls but won't put myself in situations with girls in it. This girl is different, she is going to be the exception. Blah blah blah.'

And by all means please 'thank' those who continue to spread this nonsense. But don't get pissed off in ten years time when things are still the same and you've done nothing to change.

If you have Love-shyness you have a death sentence. Get going!


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 Post subject: Re: No-man's-land
PostPosted: 19 Feb 2011, 18:13 
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Do what I do. I devote time to ME.

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