I said I'd make a thread of exactly what I did, so here it is.
Mind you right now I am in a major slump, and it seems like I exhausted all prospects. I'll just have to wait awhile for the new batch of people to sign up.

Which sites?
The two main ones I use are Plenty of Fish and OkCupid. They are both free, and both seem to have more users than all of the paid ones. The other free ones are a waste of time and don't have any experience with the paid sites. ALL of my dates have come from Plenty of Fish while OkCupid girls seem a lot more flaky for whatever reason...also another thing to note at any given time Plenty has over 3x the members online than OK so statistically your chances are better at Plenty.

The most important thing: PICTURE
If I had to pick the most important thing about your profile, it is your picture. When I first tried online dating I had standard pictures...and well I literally would get no responses. I recently changed my picture to a shirtless pic and now not getting much, but some is better than none. I know a lot of you have taken up working out as a way to beat incel and I realize not everyone has a 6 pack or huge arms. You gotta go with something that you have. For instance UWT goes to the gym and has bigger arms than me, so I recommended showing off his arms. If you are not fit at all try and get fit. If you are not extremely overweight all you would need is 6 months. I remember my incel friend worked out with me for a couple of months and lost 25 pounds.

Here is the regiment I do, and good for beginners: http://stronglifts.com/stronglifts-5x5- ... g-program/

Your main picture is obviously the most important one. I'd say more times than not a girl that responds to my message won't even LOOK at my profile, meaning the actual content of your profile is meaningless for the most part. An average girls inbox is overflowing with messages, and doesn't have time to look at profiles.

Profile, what IS important
Alright so most of the content isn't important, but there are a couple of key things that are important. The first thing is don't limit yourself by putting specific things that will filter you out by a girls search criteria. What do I mean by this? Here are some examples:
-I am 5'11, so I put I am 6'0. A LOT of girls will filter out guys that are below the 6' threshold, but in person wouldn't be able to tell the difference between 5'11 or 6' so fuck it.
-For build if you have hit the gym for a couple weeks put athletic...again the filters.
-For religion if you are atheist don't put anything otherwise just put christian. I used to put atheist and a couple of girls openly said they don't date atheists, so don't limit yourself on something so trivial.
-Income can't really comment

Otherwise just make a basic profile. Don't put anything controversial, remember you want to appeal to as many girls as possible. You have to treat it like a politician would...you want everyone's vote!

Messaging
Now comes the fun part...messaging women. First thing to get out of the way...90%+ of the girls won't respond. That is a fact of life. I made a fake profile at Plenty with a girl that was about an 8 in looks and she got 150 messages in a 3 day span. Lets do a roll reversal here for a second. What if YOU got 150 messages in a 3 day period? Would you respond to them all? Hell would you even read them all? Which ones would go instantly in the trash? The ones that I'd toss out is the ones that all looked the same...and guess what? 70% of the messages were a combination of "Hey/Hi/Hello" and the popular OKCupid one is the "wink" response. (you can wink for people to message you)

Here is an example from OkCupid. 50% of the messages have the Wink as the title, while the other 30% have the "Hey" variation, and the rest are unique titles. So just by making a unique title you are already beating out 80% of the guys because girls just don't have the time to sort through everyone being a hot guy or not. The one I use a lot is: "You seem interesting"

As for the actual message, keep it short. You gotta get their attention, and keep their attention so make it somewhat interesting. But just getting through the unique title filter is most of the battle.

Numbers Numbers Numbers!
There are 2 things I am referring to when I say numbers. The first thing is you have to absolutely spam the shit out of all of the women in your area to even just get a few responses. For your search criteria I'd search for people a couple year younger and older than yourself, and withing a 50 mile range. DON'T even bother messaging girls that haven't been on for more than a month...they aren't coming back. Also you should prioritize who you message, the highest priority being the people that first join. If you can get a jump on those girls than that is less competition you have to deal with...early bird gets the worm. I also put a higher priority to girls that live closer, look better, etc.

The second thing I mean by numbers is you HAVE to get her number and fast. Don't even bother with the whole iming/pen pal bullshit...you'll thank me when you find out how flaky these girls are and saved you 3 months of your life you'll never get back iming a flaky bitch. My rule is after about 3 to 4 responses is when I'll ask for her number. 2 of her responses in say your name and on the very next response ask for her number. My theory is if she gets your name, then it seems more personal and you stand out a little more than the others. When she does give your number send her a text so she'll have yours as well. If she refuses to give her number then drop her....she won't EVER give it and it is a waste of time. Think about it...what MORE could you possibly talk about that can't be said from the profile and 3-4 responses? See what I mean? DROP HER!

Date Time
Here is the part I am still a little sketchy on so it is a work in development...but here is what I can tell you. 50%+ of the girls will flake even if you have plans! I made plans with this one girl and a couple days later she said she hardly knew me to be making plans. (lol wut) So I said fine, I'll just go out with another girl on that day. So that girl ended up flaking too! Ridiculous...
My theory is maybe you have to talk with the girls more rather than just texting, although lately most of the girls won't pick up when I call even after asking if they can talk. But there are a lot of girls I met up without even talking to on the phone so I guess it is just a case to case basis. Main thing is don't pester them too much and make plans quick. Cause it is never going to happen if you don't take quick action.

Other Comments
-If a girl doesn't initially respond don't worry...a week later message them again with a different title. lol I know it sounds stupid but it has worked! Remember 150 messages in a 3 day span and a week later...she won't even remember you contacted her to begin with! This has worked on several occasions and over several accounts. One girl messaged me when I signed up again who originally flaked on me! She didn't even remember who I was...and I basically told her to fuck off and that she is a joke.
-Facebooking seems to never work. Every girl who I have gotten their facebook hasn't worked out for whatever reason...so use caution.
-Lie about your incel. Testing it out...every single girl I mentioned to that I was a virgin flaked.

Anyway hopefully this helps out some people...this is exactly what I am doing right now. If I think of anything else I'll edit it. I'll answer questions too...
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Update 2/7
Alright I said I'd add on to this, so here is the first major update.

Some Developments...
Before I said Facebook doesn't work, but the last couple of weeks I have been having more success through Facebook. I think the key there is not to just rely on Facebook, but get the girls number and Facebook to keep communication up. That is one thing that is VERY important, try to contact her almost every day so she remembers who you are. She WILL forget about you within a day. Take today for an example:
-This girl messaged me first and we messaged back and forth a couple of times
-The next day I used the Plenty of Fish IM feature and we talked for awhile.
-A day passes...she messages me again with just a generic "Hey". In this message she says nice picture....I responded with indeed it is huh? She then said wait...have we talked before? She forgot about me within a day despite talking a lot!

This is why you shouldn't get frustrated if a girl doesn't respond. I also thought of something else that could play a big factor. The plenty of fish inbox will only fit 10 messages on a page at a time. What I realized is sometimes a girl won't even know you responded back to her! Think about it. You send her a message, she checks it 6 hours later. Within those 6 hours she could EASILY get 10+ messages and guess what? Your message would be bumped off the first page! Further reason why you need to communicate with her and often.

Messaging Specifics
Alright so some of you have praised this thus far on how this guide has been more detailed than most, but I still feel I am not being specific enough with HOW I am messaging so I'll just make a screen shot of what did work for me:

Alright this first one is a current prospect, and honestly the girl I am liking the most out of anyone messaging wise. She works out at the same gym as I do which helped BIG TIME in getting her more interested. Anything you can use to get her more comfortable with you is a huge plus. She actually wrote detailed responses and followed up with questions which is really rare for a girl to do:




A couple of days later she was on facebook and we chatted for about 20 minutes then I asked for her number and we have been texting back and forth. We may set something up for thursday although I just found out I have to work...so I'll have to figure something out. Usually I get the girls number and not worry about the facebook, but everything seemed to work fine getting her Facebook first, but you HAVE to get her number. Text her every day, but don't text her too many times if she doesn't respond. No more than 2 of your texts to her text...if she doesn't respond after 2 in one day then 2 the next day she is done for and delete from your phone.

I stickied this. There needs to be more practical advice on the exact specifics regarding online dating, and Rossini is paving the way here. No more generic bullshit but a bulleted list of what and what not to follow. Anyone who wants to join in with advice is free to. Please, no bullshit derailment. Anything that derails this thread will be moved elsewhere, or deleted, depending on how I feel.

At this point, I believe this is the only way for me and many others in this situation. I believe it can work with effort put in. And I'm going to follow in Rossini's footsteps and see where it takes me.

Great research! Very much appreciated.



Should I specify my last name too, or just my first name? (maybe a dumb question but I'm really not sure)

First name...first and last name would seem kind of weird.

On that note I just thought of something. A lot of girls would put their first/last name either as username and or profile. A lot of times if they have a unique name you can find them on facebook. Don't add them but it is always good to see what they "actually" look like. A lot of times girls will put up weird angle shots to make them look thin when in reality they are quite plump...and this could be a good counter measure. The general rule of thumb is if they don't have a clear full body recent picture they are probably fat.

I quicly reviewed my online dating experience with Rossini checklist. Not good

• I never put my photo on profile (although I quickly learned it's good to show it ASAP, I even created profile on "hot or not" type site especially for this task)
• I used to engage in long email conversations before asking for phone number (it changed with time, as I became more and more tired)
• My profile contained many controversial, weird or even cryptic stuff :>

Maybe main dating site interface (and community) is so much different from Rossini's ones? On the other hand my intention wasn't getting a date for every weekend or maximizing number of dates. I had a specific image of my ideal woman and my profile was aimed at my "oneitis".

But if start online dating again, I really could benefit from that advice

The shit that really sucks is how these sites are like 80% men and 20% women.

If bitches don't like yo penis use yo e-nis.

I once knew a bitch who got a slack
'Cause she playing me like she was all that
A bitch can be your best friend talking behind your back (yeah)
About who's fucking who and who's getting fat
Look at yourself for me, (look bitch)
Now do you fall in this category?
Or you're the kind that won't bleak
'Cause you don't think, yo, shit stinks
Luckily I haven't had a drink
'Cause I'll down you ass
Than I'll clown your ass
'Cause the niggas I hang with ain't rich (I ain't rich)
We're all saying 'Fuck you bitch!' (Word up!)
Now, what I can do with a hoe like you
Been your ass over then I'm thru'
? that you see Ice Cube ain't takin' no shit
(Why?) 'Cause I think a bitch is a bitch

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ze64bkC3K1E

I wrote little haiku poems. I emailed them to everyone.

Hm. There's actually some pretty good advice in there. The main thing that's gotten me answers (I use OkCupid) is typing a slightly longer message (5-7 sentences) and an interesting title (I use "'Eeeeeey" because everyone loves the Fonz). Then I copy-paste and change up a few areas to factor in things the girl mentions on her profile. I've gotten responses on three out of the five messages I've sent, but they're all a fair distance away, so that probably has something to do with it (there are very few girls in my area, and the ones here aren't...my type). Also, I'm perfectly open with the atheism thing. I'm not willing to date someone who wouldn't be willing to date me, but that's all just personal preference. Pretty good advice in general.

So, that's my piece. Like Rossini said, they get tons of messages that all look the same. Be different.

Very useful advice. Thanks. I've been using online dating sites for about 9 months with limited success (3 dates with 2 girls and 1 wasn't even really a date if I'm being honest). A few comments:


This is a major problem. At least where I live (Northern Ireland) there aren't that many girls who I would consider dating online. Now new ones come along all the time so it's not really a big deal if you're on a free site, but it sucks if you're paying a fortune for Match.com and there's no-one to message.


I have used Plenty of Fish, OkCupid, Match, Parship and Geek2Geek. I also tried eHarmony. My verdicts:

Plenty of Fish: the one I've had most success with (both girls I met came from this). It's free which is an obvious advantage (you can pay for a few extra features though I never have). It's also one of the busiest so you can generally find new people to message. The only disadvantage is the members aren't always that interested in meeting people and might be just there for fun/chatting. One great resource is the forum: you can put a link to your profile and other members will give you advice on improving it. And in my experience it helped.

OK Cupid: It's free and with its quizzes it's actually quite fun and it's easier than PoF to work out compatibility. However that's its biggest problem. So many members are there just because the site's fun rather than are interested in meeting people. It's also nowhere near as busy as PoF.

Match: Match was the first I tried with no success. However, my pictures and profile were terrible back then which was most likely a huge factor. On the plus side it's a well designed site, it's about as busy as Pof (though many members are not full members) and the members are (supposedly) a bit more serious about finding people. However it's expensive and it's more expensive than you might think. There are different levels of membership. Basic (free members) can't message anyone but top level members. The mid level (whuich costs a fair bit to upgrade to, but less if you buy several months at once) can message anyone, however only those of mid level or higher can respond. There is no way of telling from a profile whether it is a basic or mid-level member so you'll never know if the person you messaged can't or won't reply. The top level membership will cost you another whack of money. The advantage is you can message anyone and they can message you and your top level status will appear on your profile. For this reason I would only recommend Match if you're prepared to pay for top level membership.

Parship: Slightly cheaper than Match, but bad design and has few members. Avoid.

Geek2Geek: A nice idea, but very expensive and not that many members (most of which I found again on Match anyway)

eHarmony: There's a reason they can boast such high success rates. They don't let anyone with the "wrong" personality type join. Which includes me apparently. Prats!


Interesting. I would nearly always say my name at the end of my first message. Do you think that's coming on a bit strong?
Also I tend to ask girls out rather than ask for their number after 4 or so responses. Again perhaps I'm coming on a bit strong there and would be better asking for numbers instead.

A question....... by 4 responses you mean

you say:
They say:

you say:
they say:

you say:
They say:

you say:
they say:

And then you ask for number or to meet?

Seems a bit quick to me.

So I got an interesting story that occured a few months ago...

This girl messages me on OkCupid (yes, I hardly believed it myself). She said she enjoyed reading my profile and it very much brightened my day. Well I go and look at her profile and she's not only cute, but we had almost all the same interests, I was quite ecstatic (as any guy like me would be). So I message her back, talking about various things, then I notice she started taking days to send me replies, even though she's always actively online.

So after waiting a week and getting no reply after my last message, I send her another one, asking what's up. She goes and says she's just getting out of this long relationship that ended very badly and she wasn't ready to date again and at this point I really didn't want to hear it. Of course because I so strongly believed that this girl was the one, I asked if she at least wanted to hang out... ... ...Well she never replied to that message. I totally got flaked out by a girl who messaged me first.

So I begin to wonder, why the hell did she message me in the first place? I didn't say anything offensive (at least I don't think I did), we simply discussed the things we were both interested in.

The sequence probably went something like this:
1. Girl gets mad at her boyfriend, and decides to herself to get rid of him.
2. G creates one or more profiles on dating sites and messages some candidate guys.
3. G gets lots of responses, and narrows it down to a list of possibles.
4. G goes out on a few dates with guys on the list.
5. G has sex with a few guys on the list.
6. G tells boyfriend "Things are not right with us, blah blah, blah, ..."
7. Boyfriend tries to work things out with G, but she acts hesitant.
6. G chooses new guy from list after having sex with him a few more times.
8. G dumps boyfriend.
9. G cleans up list by telling the persistent guys "I need time to get over my previous relationship, because I was treated so badly by that jerk, blah, blah, blah, ..."

Perceptive.