just a thought I was reading a section in the introduction to the Don juan Bible on
http://www.jbspencer.com/djb/

one passage I thought was interesting is that it states a man's focus in life should not be just to get a woman but to follow his dreams and passions, not to compromise them to get women. getting a sports car or a cool motocyles should be because they enjoy working the mechanics of the vehicle, not to use them to impress girls at the beach.

Perhaps we should focus our energy which can be better spent else where in our hobbies and passions.

These kinds of things are just excuses.

And...
What if you aren't interested in cool car mechanics?

excuses for what?

I just used it as an example

Same deal. What if you aren't interested in whatever women like?

Basically, the DJ Bible is saying "Zen, ooooommmmmm - it will happen if you dont care for it".

Fine, then the future also applies - Ill pump the woman, when I get bored of her Ill dump her, or Ill pump multiple women at the same time etc etc. After all, its all about me.

Also, on another note, mateguarding a woman seems incongruous with acting like Im not interested in a woman per se.

Too many problems. Though, its not like I have a solution.

as of late i've stopped caring, trying, putting forth effort, etc. it might just be depression... but I do alright day to day, enjoy my hobbies and whatnot. so idk. my sex drive did fall off a cliff though so it probably is depression.

To tell yourself why you can't get any.

It's biology; what can a man be more enthusiastic about than sex, especially if he's never had it? I am pursuing my passions, but unfortunately they involve going to college. Thousands of beautiful women, Lewd drunken parties, And a room mate that brings home a different female every other night Its not a matter of being more enthusiastic about my passions than I am about women. Its more about using my passions to distract me from the suckier aspects of my life. When my roomate would bring home a female, I'd make a 3am run up to the college and get some serious shit done, or at least get some angry bitter sleep on a hard desk, which is better than none at all.

This. Pursuing other passions is great advice to minimize (as much as possible) the pain from incel. It will not help you cure incel, unless your passions happen to be something that will make you more attractive to women. Women seem to be repelled by virtually every endeavor in this world that I have passion for. Their loss.


This was the reason after my first couple of semesters, I always sprang for the extra money for a private room. Bad enough I'm not getting any. No way in hell I am going to be ejected from my own room everyday while someone else gets some.

yea sure, just forget about eating and sleeping and breathing and shit (forget about that too, see what happens). Just "follow your dreams". Right. Never mind the hypocrisy of posting this on a site that is dedicated to "picking up women". I'm sure the author probably has thousands of posts also. Now I'm not saying that a relationship with a woman is directly comparable to eating in that you will die in a few weeks or so without it, but for most people it is a normal part of a fulfilling life, and without it you will suffer as will your ability to "achieve your dreams". It's just like if you aren't getting proper nutrition and rest your brain will not function at an optimal level and you will not be in top form for your career, hobbies, goals, etc. The things you are supposed to be focusing on to distract yourself from the fact that you are miserable because you are missing out on something very important in life.

Think about it, how many men out there who have no success with women are genuinely happy and/or content with the situation? Have you found any of them? I've heard of guys claiming this but I never really believed them, for whatever reason. I mean I've read the mgtow websites where a lot of men claim to be happy without women but you can just sense the seething bitterness and rage beneath their empty claims of contentedness. The only guys who've never had success with women who seem ok with it are men who abstain for religious or ascetic type reasons (like Ethnocide) and that takes a super amount of discipline. Not only that but it's also a choice, which is another key thing. Single people who are happy feel that way because they made a choice to be single.

Let's not even get into not knowing what your "dream" is to begin with, which is a problem for a lot of people. I suppose if you are not that smart a cool sports car might make a good replacement for a fulfilling relationship. Uhhh yea... sure. I mean I love cars as much as any guy but that line of thinking is flawed on so many levels and betrays an ignorance about what makes people happy in life. Hint - it's not material objects, but I digress. All this zen shit ("stop caring and you will get results") sounds good on paper but has very little real world application. I mean think about it, if you really genuinely stop caring, than who cares if you get results anyway? Not that it's easy to stop caring to begin with...

This entire argument of "follow your passion" doesn't work in any area of life. I know of several people who really believe in environmentalism and "green technology," and they invested in those companies' stock and lost a lot of money. They should have bought coal mining stock or whatever.

Career is the same. If you pick a career that has high earning potential, you do well. If not, it doesn't matter how dedicated you are to the cause. There may not be any jobs available, or the jobs may be very poorly paid. Universities are filled with people dedicated to a particular field, such as ancient history or classical literature, but there are no jobs in that field outside of the university, and within the university there is tremendous competition for the few jobs available.

I picked a career that had a high earning potential for many years, but I knew that it might end someday, so I saved my money and lived frugally. And sure enough, it all ended one day leaving me with much reduced income. But at least I was prepared for it, and my life goes on without too much worry.

I am semi content. Until I'm dead, I will never be fully content. I don't want to be "happy" in the traditional sense of the word anyway. I also don't want to be miserable. I do my best to stay in the middle whenever possible. I can think more clearly, and make better decisions when my brain isn't being affected by emotions (I call them demons). This is true for everyone I know as well. Primal urges have lead to some of the worst decision making I have ever witnessed.

Words of wisdom.

haozwang618 from personal experience being relations are vital to your mental health. I was younger I was a goal oriented kid I just wanted to follow my dreams, and I believed women would come naturally. When i reached 18 depression struck so hard that I could not continue my pursuit. Sometimes the hardest part of being incel is not the lack of intimacy with the opposite sex but rather the damage it creates on other aspects of your life including your dreams.

I knew a guy who as never a model citizen, quite the opposite in fact, he was lazy, bitter, always arguing, a bad worker, a bad student among other things... But the moment he found a stable partner, which he now lives with, he's productivity sky rocket, he went from a guy with suicidal thoughts who would probably unemployed, to earning what only 5% of the population wins in less than a year.

Have you read Dr Gilmartin's book?