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PostPosted: 13 Jan 2012, 03:20 
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theyoungagegroup wrote:
fschmidt wrote:
As a woman from Brazil, I don't think you can imagine how horrible it is to be a man in America or Canada.


Fixed.

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PostPosted: 13 Jan 2012, 03:27 
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Why don't you just say "As a woman, I don't think you can imagine how horrible it is to a man"?

And no, I can't imagine, since I've never been, nor do I intent to be, a man.


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PostPosted: 13 Jan 2012, 03:52 
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worldtraveler wrote:
fschmidt wrote:
Salome wrote:
But what makes you think it'd easier to date in Latin America?

I was rejected hundreds of times in America. Then I went to Mexico and met my wife in a week. I suggest you look at Happier Abroad for more. As a woman from Brazil, I don't think you can imagine how horrible it is to be a man in America.


Yep, it was the same for me. Was rejected many times as well, then, after at least 2 decades of that, I finally went back to what worked for me years ago when my father was in the U.S. Army and my family and I was stationed in Germany. I had talked to German girls and even dated one. It was the only time I was successful with a female. It's funny, though now I think about it. Since I met my Brazilian wife, I've had many Americans tell me that the only reason that my wife was interested in me was I made good money. That may be the case for some, but not for all Brazilian women, including my wife. And you really can't say that the rest of the world is third world poor. Although East Germany looked like World War II ended yesterday, West Germany, as a member of the European Common Market (Now the European Union), was far from having third world status. And when I had dated my German girlfriend, it was during the early 80's, and I was 12. And I remember West Germany was a good place to live -- Wunderbar, as the Germans would say.

And, fschmidt is right. I personally couldn't begin to tell you how horrible it its to live in the U.S.A. as a man.


I found this link to a guide to dating foriegn women, for what it's worth:

http://www.happierabroad.com/

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PostPosted: 13 Jan 2012, 04:56 
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oncebitten55 wrote:
I found this link to a guide to dating foriegn women, for what it's worth:
http://www.happierabroad.com/


Whatever it's worth, the reality is still that foreign dating only appeals to the guys who find it too difficult to compete for domestic girls. It has never been considered a top option; instead, the whole idea is based on the acknowledgement of one's inferiority (and hope that foreign women, for one reason or another, have lower expectations than domestic ones - whether it's true or not). I'm not saying it never works; for some men it does. But if you resort to it only as a result of the lack of luck on the local/domestic front, you're sending your self-esteem down the hill in a longer run. It would be hardly possible to erase this part of your biography, because your foreign wife would keep reminding you about it with her very being. As a way of emotional self-protection, you may try following fschmidt's (and Winston Wu's) suit, convincing yourself that what you have done (marrying a foreign wife) is something everyone should strive for. The problem is that, while it may be relatively easy to convince yourself in this, it's much harder to convince the society. As far as the society is concerned, a guy's inability to find a girl in a normal way makes him a loser. That's one of the reasons why I'm cautious about investing time and money in this thing.


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PostPosted: 13 Jan 2012, 05:14 
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So New-Yorker, I suspect that as Jew in Nazi Germany, you would have had trouble dating German women. Would that have been due to your inferiority? I don't see any difference between a Jew in Nazi Germany and someone like me in America.

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PostPosted: 13 Jan 2012, 05:47 
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fschmidt wrote:
So New-Yorker, I suspect that as Jew in Nazi Germany, you would have had trouble dating German women. Would that have been due to your inferiority? I don't see any difference between a Jew in Nazi Germany and someone like me in America.


I certainly would definitely consider a woman from Germany, or other such countries.

My first major oneitis was of German/Dutch decent, but all of those countries in that area of the world
are still within the Femisphere, and I don't see women from them flocking to America, where I intend to
stay put and fight.

I have no wish to date a Latina, nor live in a Latin-American country, since I know much more about them,
then what this website seems to make out to be a "paradise", of sorts. Lots of utter rubbish, if you ask me.

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PostPosted: 13 Jan 2012, 14:00 
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fschmidt wrote:
So New-Yorker, I suspect that as Jew in Nazi Germany, you would have had trouble dating German women. Would that have been due to your inferiority? I don't see any difference between a Jew in Nazi Germany and someone like me in America.

This is exaggerated. A better comparison would be being a Black in Apartheid-era South Africa, or under an hypothetical KKK-run government in America.


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PostPosted: 13 Jan 2012, 22:20 
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fschmidt wrote:
So New-Yorker, I suspect that as Jew in Nazi Germany, you would have had trouble dating German women. Would that have been due to your inferiority? I don't see any difference between a Jew in Nazi Germany and someone like me in America.


I'm amazed your favorite logical trick of bringing up the Holocaust analogy. You have deliberately killed your link in the Jewish chain, so bringing up the Holocaust in your case is, at very least, inconsistent.

I would not date German or any other non-Jewish women for one single reason - we are mandated to marry within the Jewish faith. If not for that, I would've had no problem dating any women (as long as they're otherwise compatible to me). As for German women specifically, they don't necessarily have to be held responsible for the evil dids of their grandfathers and great-grandfathers. So, if I didn't care that a German woman doesn't speak my native language (or, let's say, if I had been born in Germany), I would not have been repulsed by her just because she's German. You have a distorted perception of these things. On one hand, you had no problem with your Jewish sense when intermarrying to a Catholic; on the other hand, you bring up Holocaust left and right.

By the way, was there any religious element at your wedding, fschmidt? I'm just curious...


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PostPosted: 13 Jan 2012, 22:50 
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New-Yorker wrote:
I'm amazed your favorite logical trick of bringing up the Holocaust analogy. You have deliberately killed your link in the Jewish chain, so bringing up the Holocaust in your case is, at very least, inconsistent.

I didn't deliberately kill anything. I was brought up with no connection to Judaism and I would have been just as willing to date a Jewish woman as any other woman if she had been willing to date me. So you can blame my parents or Jewish women, but not me. Anyway, this really has nothing to do with using a Holocaust analogy where appropriate.

Quote:
I would not date German or any other non-Jewish women for one single reason - we are mandated to marry within the Jewish faith. If not for that, I would've had no problem dating any women (as long as they're otherwise compatible to me). As for German women specifically, they don't necessarily have to be held responsible for the evil dids of their grandfathers and great-grandfathers. So, if I didn't care that a German woman doesn't speak my native language (or, let's say, if I had been born in Germany), I would not have been repulsed by her just because she's German. You have a distorted perception of these things. On one hand, you had no problem with your Jewish sense when intermarrying to a Catholic; on the other hand, you bring up Holocaust left and right.

You misunderstood my question. My question wasn't about dating a German woman today, it was about dating in German woman in Nazi Germany at that time. Clearly you would have been rejected by German women for being Jewish, just as I am rejected by American women for being who I am. The point is that rejection by women in an evil culture does not reflect badly on a man.

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By the way, was there any religious element at your wedding, fschmidt? I'm just curious...

My wife asked me if I would be willing to have a Catholic wedding. I said, sure, why not, what do I have to do? She said I have to eat some bread and drink some wine that represent Christ, and asked if I would be willing. I said, sure, why not, as long as they taste good. My wife considered this and decided that it would be a sin for me to have this attitude, so we did not have a religious wedding.

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PostPosted: 13 Jan 2012, 22:56 
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fschmidt wrote:
New-Yorker wrote:
I'm amazed your favorite logical trick of bringing up the Holocaust analogy. You have deliberately killed your link in the Jewish chain, so bringing up the Holocaust in your case is, at very least, inconsistent.

I didn't deliberately kill anything. I was brought up with no connection to Judaism and I would have been just as willing to date a Jewish woman as any other woman if she had been willing to date me. So you can blame my parents or Jewish women, but not me. Anyway, this really has nothing to do with using a Holocaust analogy where appropriate.

Quote:
I would not date German or any other non-Jewish women for one single reason - we are mandated to marry within the Jewish faith. If not for that, I would've had no problem dating any women (as long as they're otherwise compatible to me). As for German women specifically, they don't necessarily have to be held responsible for the evil dids of their grandfathers and great-grandfathers. So, if I didn't care that a German woman doesn't speak my native language (or, let's say, if I had been born in Germany), I would not have been repulsed by her just because she's German. You have a distorted perception of these things. On one hand, you had no problem with your Jewish sense when intermarrying to a Catholic; on the other hand, you bring up Holocaust left and right.

You misunderstood my question. My question wasn't about dating a German woman today, it was about dating in German woman in Nazi Germany at that time. Clearly you would have been rejected by German women for being Jewish, just as I am rejected by American women for being who I am. The point is that rejection by women in an evil culture does not reflect badly on a man.

Quote:
By the way, was there any religious element at your wedding, fschmidt? I'm just curious...

My wife asked me if I would be willing to have a Catholic wedding. I said, sure, why not, what do I have to do? She said I have to eat some bread and drink some wine that represent Christ, and asked if I would be willing. I said, sure, why not, as long as they taste good. My wife considered this and decided that it would be a sin for me to have this attitude, so we did not have a religious wedding.


Yeap, another big issue with dating Latina's or Philippinas will be having to deal with their strict Catholic upbringings.

Sorry, but I don't _do_ religion, no matter what faith.

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PostPosted: 15 Jan 2012, 01:20 
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fschmidt wrote:
You misunderstood my question. My question wasn't about dating a German woman today, it was about dating in German woman in Nazi Germany at that time.


Why deep so far into history? Today's Islamic society is not much better to us.

fschmidt wrote:
Clearly you would have been rejected by German women for being Jewish, just as I am rejected by American women for being who I am. The point is that rejection by women in an evil culture does not reflect badly on a man.


It's a distorted perception. The Nazis hated the Jews because they're Jews, period. The Muslim anti-Semitism, while historically rooted in our unwillingness to embrace Mohammad's teaching, is currently fueled primarily by the conflict over the Land. But both have a clear definition of whom they hate.
But why do Americans hate you? who are you by definition that makes Americans (or, to be more precise, American women) hate you? Also, unlike German Nazis or Arab terrorists who killed innocent civilians, American women commit nothing immoral or unlawful by rejecting you; they have right to refuse someone they're not attracted to. Don't tell me Mexican or other foreign women feel obligated to go for men they don't like. For some reason the vast majority of men in this "evil culture" are in relationship. You've deemed it an "evil culture" because it rejected you. But what if you're not an ideal measuring unit to test a culture for being good or evil?

fschmidt wrote:
I didn't deliberately kill anything. I was brought up with no connection to Judaism and I would have been just as willing to date a Jewish woman as any other woman if she had been willing to date me.


I understand that you were brought up with no connection to Judaism, but you probably knew you're Jewish (at least you knew about Holocaust). So, if you felt so fed up with American society, you could have taken a flight to Israel, instead of drivign to Mexico. Or, if you picked Mexico for being geographically closest, you could have first inquired about the Jewish communities there.

fschmidt wrote:
My wife asked me if I would be willing to have a Catholic wedding. I said, sure, why not, what do I have to do? She said I have to eat some bread and drink some wine that represent Christ, and asked if I would be willing. I said, sure, why not, as long as they taste good. My wife considered this and decided that it would be a sin for me to have this attitude, so we did not have a religious wedding.


It may not have been deliberate to begin with, but the matter of fact is that, yes, you have cut off your link in the chain of Jewish continuity. And by agreeing to participate in rituals that your ancestors preferred to die rather than do, you've virtually demonstrated that all your remarks about Holocaust have no relevance in your life, and you simply used to promote your agenda.


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PostPosted: 12 Feb 2012, 19:36 
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fschmidt wrote:
My wife asked me if I would be willing to have a Catholic wedding. I said, sure, why not, what do I have to do? She said I have to eat some bread and drink some wine that represent Christ, and asked if I would be willing. I said, sure, why not, as long as they taste good. My wife considered this and decided that it would be a sin for me to have this attitude, so we did not have a religious wedding.

Is it really required to take Communion at the ceremony to be married in the Church? I really doubt it. From United States Conference of Catholic Bishops:

Theologican Robert Hater, author of the 2006 book, When a Catholic Marries a Non-Catholic wrote:
According to Hater, church policies generally recommend that interfaith weddings not include Communion, therefore, most interfaith weddings take place outside of Mass.

“The reception of Communion is a sign of unity with the ecclesial community,” he explains. “On a wedding day, the fact that one-half of the congregation does not belong to the Catholic community [and, hence, does not receive Communion] cannot be a sign of welcome or unity on a couple’s wedding day.” It might be “likened to inviting guests to a celebration and not allowing them to eat,” he adds.


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PostPosted: 12 Feb 2012, 20:06 
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GrinSweeper wrote:
fschmidt wrote:
My wife asked me if I would be willing to have a Catholic wedding. I said, sure, why not, what do I have to do? She said I have to eat some bread and drink some wine that represent Christ, and asked if I would be willing. I said, sure, why not, as long as they taste good. My wife considered this and decided that it would be a sin for me to have this attitude, so we did not have a religious wedding.

Is it really required to take Communion at the ceremony to be married in the Church? I really doubt it. From United States Conference of Catholic Bishops:

Theologican Robert Hater, author of the 2006 book, When a Catholic Marries a Non-Catholic wrote:
According to Hater, church policies generally recommend that interfaith weddings not include Communion, therefore, most interfaith weddings take place outside of Mass.

“The reception of Communion is a sign of unity with the ecclesial community,” he explains. “On a wedding day, the fact that one-half of the congregation does not belong to the Catholic community [and, hence, does not receive Communion] cannot be a sign of welcome or unity on a couple’s wedding day.” It might be “likened to inviting guests to a celebration and not allowing them to eat,” he adds.


Some parishes and other places of worship, do things differently in real
life, then in other parishes, in regards to the current rules of the Vatican.

Catholicism is like most religions in this regard, as well, to be sure.

No offense to any practicing Catholics intended, BTW.

I know nothing about how Judaism treats this issue, so I remain
silent on that matter.

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PostPosted: 16 Feb 2012, 08:05 
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New-Yorker wrote:
oncebitten55 wrote:
I found this link to a guide to dating foriegn women, for what it's worth:
http://www.happierabroad.com/


Whatever it's worth, the reality is still that foreign dating only appeals to the guys who find it too difficult to compete for domestic girls. It has never been considered a top option; instead, the whole idea is based on the acknowledgement of one's inferiority (and hope that foreign women, for one reason or another, have lower expectations than domestic ones - whether it's true or not). I'm not saying it never works; for some men it does. But if you resort to it only as a result of the lack of luck on the local/domestic front, you're sending your self-esteem down the hill in a longer run. It would be hardly possible to erase this part of your biography, because your foreign wife would keep reminding you about it with her very being. As a way of emotional self-protection, you may try following fschmidt's (and Winston Wu's) suit, convincing yourself that what you have done (marrying a foreign wife) is something everyone should strive for. The problem is that, while it may be relatively easy to convince yourself in this, it's much harder to convince the society. As far as the society is concerned, a guy's inability to find a girl in a normal way makes him a loser. That's one of the reasons why I'm cautious about investing time and money in this thing.


New Yorker, I want to begin by telling you that I understand your stance and your concerns about some guy here in this forum or anywhere looking for a foreign woman for a relationship. However, desperation is not the main motivation for every guy going this route. I can't speak for everyone, but I know that in my personal situation, my main motivation was looking for someone who wouldn't mind giving me some respect. I know that in my family growing up, my mother really didn't respect my father much. The only reason she agreed to be with him was she saw him having a career in the military a way out of her decadent lifestyle of nightclubs, drinking, and random sexual encounters. Besides, I discovered that guys didn't want her after she turned 21 because she was used goods and had a lot of baggage. My father was naive to think that she would change once they got married, but it wasn't so. I remember when I was little that my mom and dad argued a lot, and the tone of her voices would increase to unbearable levels. Later, my mother would pit myself against my sister,while my mom and dad would play favorites with us. Mom would favor my sister while my dad would favor me. However, I knew this wasn't right. I really wanted all of us to be a strong family, like in the Cosby Show. But just like the show, that dream of mine was only a fantasy.
And I don't see my wife as a reminder of my failures with American women. I believe, just as my father-in-law believes, that those women who quickly rejected me may have regretted their decision -- maybe not at that moment, but a some point, they may have or soon will. And I know now that probably wouldn't have worked out anyway. Many of these women have the same kind of baggage that my mom had, and perpetuating the actions of my father would only be toxic to me. I needed someone who would be in my corner, and not constantly against me. And, for me, it was never an issue of physical attractiveness. One thing i think you seem to be forgetting is that what someone finds unacceptable someone else may find highly desirable. In my case, once again it was the fact that I am an educated black man who speaks clearly (and a few other languages, I might add) and leads a responsible lifestyle. I realized that many women, not just black women, were feeling insecure and were intimidated of me. And their coping mechanism was ridiculing, taking advantage of, and disrespecting me. And it wasn't like I proclaimed it from the highest mountain -- actually, I tried to keep it underground for a long time. But then I also realized that i was cheating someone out of an opportunity to get to know and APPRECIATE me.
As I said before in another post, YOU have to find something that works for YOU AND ONLY YOU because it is YOUR LIFE AND NO ONE ELSES. That's why you will never see me pushing guys to date/marry foreign women exclusively. You know, for a shy guy, his niche could be in California. For another guy, it could be a girl in another town 25 miles away. Who knows? What I do know is that with all of this freedom in the U.S., it's ironic that many guys here in this forum and outside of this forum are suffering "solitary confinement" with their love shyness. Anyway, that is my two cents.

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PostPosted: 16 Feb 2012, 14:14 
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Very thoughtful, worldtraveler.


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