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PostPosted: 24 Jun 2014, 20:25 
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I don't experience any of theses emotions.

I experience mild paranoia at being mistaken for a homosexual but this is offset by my long standing superiority complex combined with the fact that my 'condition' sets me apart from the 'normal's'.

Revel in your individuality.

He walks among us, but he is not one of us.


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PostPosted: 02 Dec 2015, 00:09 
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Thanks for sharing your thoughts. It's understandable that you want to vent out your frustrations and anger, etc. I have felt the same way. Although I didn't feel too shy to approach women (after high school) and I did such a thing, I just never got anywhere with it -- a mere friendly conversation at best. I never once managed to escalate interaction to a sexual level. Besides, I most conversations/chats with women, I heard the woman say mention something like "... My boyfriend ..." or "... My husband..." -- within a few minutes of our conversation. It seemed like it was "always something". I have been trying a wide variety of things, and following various advice, off and on for over 20 years, in an attempt to get an appealing girlfriend, but nothing ever clicked. I got so upset and angry about my insanely consistent failures.

In recent years, I have found some new resources, including a Sex-positive meet-up group. I joined that group, and it looked like I had the possibility of FINALLY getting somewhere with dating, but no. For no apparent reason, I was kicked out of the group, and the leaders were rather snotty about it, too. I felt that it was probably because of my Asperger's disorder, combined with my age and gross lack of dating experience. It's as though they saw me as nothing but like "a weed in the garden of human sexuality".

Now I can definitely understand how you tend to feel angrier after such long periods of not getting what you wanted. I have felt that way, too. Back in the early 1990s, when I started my dating pursuit, I was still in my sexy 20s. Now I'm f**kin 50, and it seems like my sexiest days are gone, especially when others reinforce those ideas.

Way back when, I knew that I had some psychological development abnormalities, but I certainly would 't have guessed that I would see my 50th birthday, or even my 40th, before getting my first girlfriend. Yet, I did.

During the past 2 years or so, I've been doing some research on the "dating markets" in other countries. I've heard that there are some places in the world, such as the Phillippines, Thailand, and a few Latin American countries, where it's considered normal for a fifty-something-year-old man to date a woman who's in her early 20s. It made me think "If I were to move there, it would be like getting a second chance for some exciting romance, etc.". My current goal is to a "digital nomad" (one who earns income by doing online work, and thus is not tied down to any particular geographic location. If I become a digital nomad, I could legally reside in such foreign countries without a work visa. I would just need to exit and re-enter that country every few months.

I feel that, if I do that, and combine it with all the dating strategies that I've studied over the past few years, I might finally succeed. I'm working on that goal now, because exciting dating/romance/sex is on my "bucket list". I'd rather not wait until my next lifetime. IMO, the USA's dating market appears to be a real shithole for InCel men, especially those over 45 like I am.

If you're wondering where I've studied dating strategies, my main source is from http://www.TheModernMan.com. Just be careful not to buy more than you need.

Feel free to read my intro, which is in the Member Introductions thread. There may also be a direct link to it from my profile.

Feel free to contact me when you feel you need someone to talk to about such Incel issues.


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PostPosted: 03 Dec 2015, 22:55 
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Anger: Not as frequently as one would expect. The bulk of my anger is over the fact that virtually all women are dishonest to the point that even they themselves believe the lies they tell. Also, I hate the fact that a woman's love extends only as far as your ability to pay for her satisfaction. When I call them on their B.S., suddenly I'm the bad guy. With that in mind, I will never be able to trust or love a woman again so I question their purpose in my life.

Shame: Never. I am smart, creative, generous and I make wise decisions. I am confident that there is nothing wrong with me and that it is the system that is defective. There is a wealth of evidence to support this.

Bitterness: Absolutely. EVERY time I put women and sex out of my mind, someone brings it up again and makes me remember that stupid ex of mine and the idea that I may never be able to emotionally invest in another woman. I HATE being attracted to/interested in women. I resent the fact that biology makes me want a woman while logic tells me they are worthless. This is a paradox I will live with for the rest of my life and it takes a lot of will power on my part to not actively hate women.

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PostPosted: 03 Dec 2015, 23:21 
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cerebral_barrier wrote:
Anger: Not as frequently as one would expect. The bulk of my anger is over the fact that virtually all women are dishonest to the point that even they themselves believe the lies they tell. Also, I hate the fact that a woman's love extends only as far as your ability to pay for her satisfaction. When I call them on their B.S., suddenly I'm the bad guy. With that in mind, I will never be able to trust or love a woman again so I question their purpose in my life.

Shame: Never. I am smart, creative, generous and I make wise decisions. I am confident that there is nothing wrong with me and that it is the system that is defective. There is a wealth of evidence to support this.

Bitterness: Absolutely. EVERY time I put women and sex out of my mind, someone brings it up again and makes me remember that stupid ex of mine and the idea that I may never be able to emotionally invest in another woman. I HATE being attracted to/interested in women. I resent the fact that biology makes me want a woman while logic tells me they are worthless. This is a paradox I will live with for the rest of my life and it takes a lot of will power on my part to not actively hate women.


How can you generalize all women? There are terrible men and women everywhere but that doesn't mean that every man or woman is a terrible human being. It must be a sad life to live when you have theses feelings to deal with.


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PostPosted: 04 Dec 2015, 16:11 
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Sam23 wrote:
cerebral_barrier wrote:
Anger: Not as frequently as one would expect. The bulk of my anger is over the fact that virtually all women are dishonest to the point that even they themselves believe the lies they tell. Also, I hate the fact that a woman's love extends only as far as your ability to pay for her satisfaction. When I call them on their B.S., suddenly I'm the bad guy. With that in mind, I will never be able to trust or love a woman again so I question their purpose in my life.

Shame: Never. I am smart, creative, generous and I make wise decisions. I am confident that there is nothing wrong with me and that it is the system that is defective. There is a wealth of evidence to support this.

Bitterness: Absolutely. EVERY time I put women and sex out of my mind, someone brings it up again and makes me remember that stupid ex of mine and the idea that I may never be able to emotionally invest in another woman. I HATE being attracted to/interested in women. I resent the fact that biology makes me want a woman while logic tells me they are worthless. This is a paradox I will live with for the rest of my life and it takes a lot of will power on my part to not actively hate women.


How can you generalize all women? There are terrible men and women everywhere but that doesn't mean that every man or woman is a terrible human being. It must be a sad life to live when you have theses feelings to deal with.

I take it your response to my statement, means that you are a woman? Ok, allow me to explain in further detail.

After a while, you start to see patterns that (nearly) all men and women share. In terms of (mostly) female specific traits, I find the herd mentality, manipulative behavior, limited capacity for rational thinking and "between the lines" method of communication women exhibit to be intolerable. These traits are rarely displayed by most of the men I interact with on a frequent basis and are virtually non-existent in my male friends. In terms of dating, I hold women to the same standards as my friends but with the additional expectation of physical intimacy. I think this is far from an unreasonable expectation; since the only thing a woman can give me that I can't get from my friends is sex. Instead of actually trying to be a good friend, women just seem to mindlessly follow their emotions with no regard to what is fair or what make sense. The fact that I am expected to adhere to the obsolete gender biased traditions of courtship; wasting time, money and energy on women with little chance for "return on investment" has left me distrustful of women and resentful of the whole DSR process.

And no; this isn't a "sad life" as you put it. It's a cold, calculated, decision. I know most women will try to take from my life, while giving the least amount back as possible. I know that most of them make lousy friends and would insist that I follow their interests yet refuse to share in mine. I also know that they only have one thing that I want that I can't get elsewhere. I now view that "one thing" as not worth the effort.

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PostPosted: 04 Dec 2015, 21:02 
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cerebral_barrier wrote:
Sam23 wrote:
cerebral_barrier wrote:
In terms of (mostly) female specific traits, I find the herd mentality, manipulative behavior, limited capacity for rational thinking and "between the lines" method of communication women exhibit to be intolerable.


Again, not all women are like this. I understand that it is the stereotype, one that many women seem to fit, but not all. I guess it is easier to just give up. I hope you find a woman that challenges your view.

I also find the idea of friendships and relationships inherently selfish. You choose to spend time with someone because of what they give you.


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PostPosted: 05 Dec 2015, 05:42 
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Sam23 wrote:
cerebral_barrier wrote:
In terms of (mostly) female specific traits, I find the herd mentality, manipulative behavior, limited capacity for rational thinking and "between the lines" method of communication women exhibit to be intolerable.

Again, not all women are like this. I understand that it is the stereotype, one that many women seem to fit, but not all. I guess it is easier to just give up. I hope you find a woman that challenges your view.

I also find the idea of friendships and relationships inherently selfish. You choose to spend time with someone because of what they give you.

It doesn't matter whether they're all like this or not. The system we have to deal with ensures that we will be mostly ignored. It also ensures that any good woman will inevitably grow complacent; thus, raising their 'price' while lowering the value that we men get out of the relationship and any bad one will ruin our lives.

My ex did indeed challenge my views; so much in fact that I almost agreed to marry her, despite my strong opposition to the ideas of marriage and children. I figured it was only fair since she was kind enough to stick around when every other woman in my life has lied, flaked out and disappeared. Unfortunately, like most people who are given too much of a good thing, she grew complacent and spoiled. She quickly became rude and inconsiderate of my feelings. This was only the tip of the iceberg so I ceased all efforts to save for a wedding and a new house with her and we broke up a 2 months later.

Regarding selfishness; MY friendships are not based on what we do for each other. If that's what you think true friendship is, then you've set the bar pretty low; which I suppose is to be expected in this fakebook-obsessed society. Also, your assessment doesn't apply to me, as I am quite possibly the most financially and psychologically, independent person among my peers. There is quite literally NOTHING anyone can do for me that is of any real value to me. As such, I have high expectations for anyone who claims I am their friend and equally high standards for anyone wanting a romantic relationship with me. I view anyone who disrupts my success by wasting my time and resources (whether willfully or unknowingly) as an unnecessary distraction and cut them from my life. This is the only logical choice that can be made by people in our situation.

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PostPosted: 06 Dec 2015, 01:56 
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cerebral_barrier wrote:
Sam23 wrote:
cerebral_barrier wrote:
Regarding selfishness; MY friendships are not based on what we do for each other. If that's what you think true friendship is, then you've set the bar pretty low; which I suppose is to be expected in this fakebook-obsessed society.


I was quite vague and didn't explain myself well earlier. When I say selfish, I mean you choose to spend time with those who make you happy. You may not spend money on them but the reason you choose to be friends with someone is because of what they bring to your life. Would you stay friends with someone whose company you didn't enjoy merely because they had no other friends? Most wouldn't. We choose to be with those who make US happy which is ultimately selfish.


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PostPosted: 06 Dec 2015, 21:24 
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Sam23 wrote:
cerebral_barrier wrote:
Sam23 wrote:
cerebral_barrier wrote:
Regarding selfishness; MY friendships are not based on what we do for each other. If that's what you think true friendship is, then you've set the bar pretty low; which I suppose is to be expected in this fakebook-obsessed society.


I was quite vague and didn't explain myself well earlier. When I say selfish, I mean you choose to spend time with those who make you happy. You may not spend money on them but the reason you choose to be friends with someone is because of what they bring to your life. Would you stay friends with someone whose company you didn't enjoy merely because they had no other friends? Most wouldn't. We choose to be with those who make US happy which is ultimately selfish.

Ahh. The technical approach. I cannot disagree with you here. Well played. :coolbeans:

I guess the point of all this is; no one wants to be the giver all the time and never a receiver. Even though there are no monetary exchanges or favors being done, my friends are truly enjoyable to be around. The common interests, the shared experiences, crazy humor and our ability to communicate and relate without misunderstanding are what I value about them. I've never had these things with a woman; even in a relationship. I'm beginning to feel like such a thing is not possible; it's like we're just too different.

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