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PostPosted: 18 Apr 2014, 12:54 
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As I've gotten older without having a relationship or sex, I've started to feel more angry and bitter. The best years are gone now, I'll never know the magic of teenage sex, the fun in my 20s, dating, or having a long serious relationship and honing my skills as a lover in my prime years. Knowing happiness in this way is alien to me and a huge part of life is now missing forever.

My 30s are now a wasteland, time seems to fly by faster and faster the older I get too. 40 is only a couple of years away.
I feel so ashamed and terrified to even try to date now. Having a recent bad experience on my first real date since 2003 hasn't helped either. But I really wish I could accept this now that I will probably be deprived of a women's touch forever.

My social anxiety issues in my teens and early 20s [undiagnosed at the time] helped set me on this course. But I at least had some opportunities then, I thought things would turn out okay or I might have got an escort years ago. Now I can't even bring myself to do that, it's not so easy finding one and arranging it either.

If by some miracle I did meet someone who liked me and we lasted more than a few dates, I have lots of juvenile anxieties. For example embarrassment over my inexperience, worried over how I will perform, Will I know what the hell I'm doing? Will I even get too anxious to become aroused and she dumps me after? Will she not like my body, seeing me like that for the first time?

Try and sort things out while you're still young guys if you're inexperienced or a virgin, the clock is ticking.


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PostPosted: 18 Apr 2014, 16:10 
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Anger... sometimes
Shame.... just a tad embarrassed
Bitterness.... No not really, that's life sometimes.
The main thing for me is missing out on been a Dad.

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When you rule out the impossible, what remains from the impossible must be true.


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PostPosted: 18 Apr 2014, 19:44 
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Sounds like this is the old-timers' thread.

Jigz, I know where you are in your life. I'm 53 and have also never had sex or a girlfriend. I remember my 30's were a time when I was going to single's groups, hitting clubs, answering personal ads in the paper (this was before the internet), taking classes, and doing just about everything else I could imagine. But nothing ever worked out. I met women who seemed to enjoy my sense of humor, intelligence, and good conversational skills, but of course, that's a recipe for the Friend Zone. And that's all I got. Meanwhile, those same women were banging guys who were typical indifferent assholes. But they were all good-looking and tall assholes. Whenever I asked a woman out, I got looks of confusion. And many times, women would look away as if I had just given them terrible news.

I carry the shame of being a virgin with me every day. The anger has subsided a bit. The bitterness has morphed into resignation. I still have a sex drive even at my age, so jacking off is my only release. Of course, I imagine it can't come close to actually touching and holding a woman. And the idea of rolling around naked with a woman is as foreign to me as speaking a dead language.

My best friend, who is 52, has had more women than I can count. Sex is as common and familiar to him as taking a shit is to me. But he's very humble about it. Right now, he's dating a 29 y.o. But there's a 22 y.o. who is in love with him and is always telling him she wants to fuck him. There are at least two other women at his work that have told him the same thing. He's a very lucky guy to have that kind of attention from women especially at his age. But he has the right combination of charm and good looks that women find irresistible. He also knows my situation and can only offer me his sympathies.

I have another friend who is 56 and is also a virgin. He's overweight, bald, and hasn't had a job in over 2 years. He also lives with his mother. But putting all that dysfunction aside, his ridiculous religious beliefs have brainwashed him into believing that sex is a sin. The fact is, he's in major denial. I'm sure he would love to get laid, but of course, it will never happen.

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And if there's a purpose to my darkness, maybe it's to bring some balance to the world.
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PostPosted: 20 Apr 2014, 14:11 
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I can't say I have an overriding sense of any of the three. When I replay the events of my life I can only see them turning up here, or somewhat worse. Maybe imagining things being worse is a whitewash or my way of coping, but it certainly helps me sleep at night. More than anything I feel frustration, because I seemingly have been playing the game with an antiquated set of rules. I look around and even the people that agreed to play by those rules didn't. Their reward is they all have children and families, my reward is a life alone. It's like only now do I realize what I "should" have been doing, even though I debate with myself whether or not I could have.

There's also a sense of indignation, that what I am is something that is seen as weird or shameful. I mean honestly I shouldn't be ashamed, but the thought of admitting it brings up nothing but feelings of fear and shame. I just feel stuck, all around me there are weddings and babies and I'm still in the same place. Even the kids I babysat are getting married and having babies, so it's like they even figured it out before me. Yet, here I am confused and lost as ever.


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PostPosted: 20 Apr 2014, 14:46 
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THE CLOCK IS TICKING!!!!!! TICK, TOCK, TICK, TOCK, TICK TICK TOCK, tit tot.

Agh! How I hate that turn of phrase. Ironically I have a predilection for pendulum clocks. I have one that I wind up with a key. I just wish I had more rooms so I could have more time pieces. It also shuts people up about clocks ticking. In fact it's amazing how some people get freaked out over a ticking clock.

I would suggest the OP develop his sense of rhythm.


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PostPosted: 20 Apr 2014, 14:51 
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PlaidJumper wrote:
I can't say I have an overriding sense of any of the three. When I replay the events of my life I can only see them turning up here, or somewhat worse. Maybe imagining things being worse is a whitewash or my way of coping, but it certainly helps me sleep at night. More than anything I feel frustration, because I seemingly have been playing the game with an antiquated set of rules. I look around and even the people that agreed to play by those rules didn't. Their reward is they all have children and families, my reward is a life alone. It's like only now do I realize what I "should" have been doing, even though I debate with myself whether or not I could have.

There's also a sense of indignation, that what I am is something that is seen as weird or shameful. I mean honestly I shouldn't be ashamed, but the thought of admitting it brings up nothing but feelings of fear and shame. I just feel stuck, all around me there are weddings and babies and I'm still in the same place. Even the kids I babysat are getting married and having babies, so it's like they even figured it out before me. Yet, here I am confused and lost as ever.



"C.B.B. Confusion Breaks Bone." Fela Kuti. Live in Detroit.


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PostPosted: 26 Apr 2014, 02:15 
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It's the case. As the chair of the history department at a university plainly put, "When men don't get DSR, they get angry and violent".

I am adament about spreading the word and digging at the core, so I mentioned this to an NFL hopeful the day before yesterday, and he could only agree, having himself (he subsequently admitted) felt much inclincation to violence so that he became a bouncer and such.

The only question is, how do you channel it? I would suggest anything that is healthy and masculine would be a great outlet to focus your anger, shame and bitterness to put those emotions to use.

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Here is a trustworthy saying with regard to DSR: ὃς γὰρ ἔχει, δοθήσεται αὐτῷ· καὶ ὃς οὐκ ἔχει, καὶ ὃ ἔχει ἀρθήσεται ἀπ’ αὐτοῦ (Mark 4:25)


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PostPosted: 26 Apr 2014, 02:55 
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Natalie Portman wrote:
It's the case. As the chair of the history department at a university plainly put, "When men don't get DSR, they get angry and violent".

I am adament about spreading the word and digging at the core, so I mentioned this to an NFL hopeful the day before yesterday, and he could only agree, having himself (he subsequently admitted) felt much inclincation to violence so that he became a bouncer and such.

The only question is, how do you channel it? I would suggest anything that is healthy and masculine would be a great outlet to focus your anger, shame and bitterness to put those emotions to use.

Good question. I think people channel it by building civilisations and focussing on nitty gritty problems. They channel it by doing the opposite of what they feel. I channel a lot of my anger into writing post on here using a tiny fiddley little touch screen on an iPhone 4, which has a really crusty spell checker / auto correction that persistently changes all the words I write into ones bearing no resemblance to what I originally typed and getting cross eyed at having to hold the screen so close to my eyes before I can read anything. It would be easier to use a pc - no eye strain then.


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PostPosted: 06 May 2014, 11:09 
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I feel the emotions on basically a day to day basis. Because of the job I have the public, I see couples all the time. So it is on my mind, even when I am at work. I am bitter, I am depressed, shamed, you got it. Sometimes with it on my mind, I do tend to snap at people, I know it is bad.

I just fucking want to be with someone, I want to have sex. I am so fucking tired of being alone.


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PostPosted: 10 May 2014, 21:52 
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I'm in the same boat.

I just recently turned 20, and I started to feel the need for a girlfriend since June 2009 when I was 15. Also, every single girl who acted like they were interested in me were only pretending to do it as a joke. I have never in my entire life had a girl act interested in me and actually meant it. I could barely ask a girl out myself due to fear of humiliation, but when I miracally had the courage to ask one girl out, they flat-out rejected me.

I'm expecting to go to a different town for school in September. I might have a better chance of getting my very first girl friend, but I wouldn't hold my breath for it. It's probably not going to happen.

As of now, I'm at the feeling that I want a girlfriend. But at the same time, I don't want a girlfriend (If that makes any sense).


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PostPosted: 15 Jun 2014, 18:16 
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SuperLiam wrote:
I'm in the same boat.

I just recently turned 20, and I started to feel the need for a girlfriend since June 2009 when I was 15. Also, every single girl who acted like they were interested in me were only pretending to do it as a joke. I have never in my entire life had a girl act interested in me and actually meant it. I could barely ask a girl out myself due to fear of humiliation, but when I miracally had the courage to ask one girl out, they flat-out rejected me.

I'm expecting to go to a different town for school in September. I might have a better chance of getting my very first girl friend, but I wouldn't hold my breath for it. It's probably not going to happen.

As of now, I'm at the feeling that I want a girlfriend. But at the same time, I don't want a girlfriend (If that makes any sense).


You make perfect sense, when you see nothing but the dark side of women how else are you supposed to feel? You already know most cannot be trusted unless they demonstrate they merit trust. You shouldn't trust strangers anyway. At least use your prior experience to observe women closely, if your gut tells you she's stringing you along or manipulating you, drop her like a hot potato and move on. Here is one thing you can do, just concentrate on school and achieving success, then when these women that ignored you come running after you later, give them the could shoulder. If you aren't good enough for them now, why would they be good enough for you later? If the kitten did not want you, you do not want the cat. The best revenge a man who women ignore or ridicule when he's young can get is to become successful and shag their sisters or better yet, their daughters or nieces when he's 40 and making a very good living. The biggest mistake you can make as a man is marrying a woman who after she rode the bad boy cock carousel and got knocked up. Why should you pay for another man's brats? That is precisely what's in store for many of them who rejected you, and why in the end it will be them who will be eating a lot of sun ripened crow, not you.


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PostPosted: 15 Jun 2014, 18:34 
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Bootes5714 wrote:
SuperLiam wrote:
I'm in the same boat.

I just recently turned 20, and I started to feel the need for a girlfriend since June 2009 when I was 15. Also, every single girl who acted like they were interested in me were only pretending to do it as a joke. I have never in my entire life had a girl act interested in me and actually meant it. I could barely ask a girl out myself due to fear of humiliation, but when I miracally had the courage to ask one girl out, they flat-out rejected me.

I'm expecting to go to a different town for school in September. I might have a better chance of getting my very first girl friend, but I wouldn't hold my breath for it. It's probably not going to happen.

As of now, I'm at the feeling that I want a girlfriend. But at the same time, I don't want a girlfriend (If that makes any sense).


You make perfect sense, when you see nothing but the dark side of women how else are you supposed to feel? You already know most cannot be trusted unless they demonstrate they merit trust. You shouldn't trust strangers anyway. At least use your prior experience to observe women closely, if your gut tells you she's stringing you along or manipulating you, drop her like a hot potato and move on. Here is one thing you can do, just concentrate on school and achieving success, then when these women that ignored you come running after you later, give them the could shoulder. If you aren't good enough for them now, why would they be good enough for you later? If the kitten did not want you, you do not want the cat. The best revenge a man who women ignore or ridicule when he's young can get is to become successful and shag their sisters or better yet, their daughters or nieces when he's 40 and making a very good living. The biggest mistake you can make as a man is marrying a woman who after she rode the bad boy cock carousel and got knocked up. Why should you pay for another man's brats? That is precisely what's in store for many of them who rejected you, and why in the end it will be them who will be eating a lot of sun ripened crow, not you.


Yeah, agree with this completely. Focusing on my studies; it wouldn't be productive if I invested my time in being a loser white knight (with severe LS). All I can do is try to secure a decent future, and inform other men that society is fucked. Feminism fucks it. And we need to fuck it back.


@OP, I'm 21 and I already feel that "clocking is ticking" pressure. It feels like I'm being progressively backed into a corner that I'll never be able to get out of, and I feel powerless to stop it from happening.


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PostPosted: 16 Jun 2014, 05:29 
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You need to get on that ASAP. Seriously. Especially if you are younger.

Myself.
I don't so much feel shame in that I didn't do anything morally wrong but I do know that other people will see me as a loser if they find out.
I feel saddened at all the time I wasted when I could have been with someone if I knew at say 12 what I knew today and could get a mulligan on everything. I'd love to go back to my 12 year old self and punch him in the face hard every day he didn't chat up a female on the street or at school. I mean full force 300 pound of incel fury on my 12 year old face. Also the brusing would add a bad boy edge to my look ;)
I feel tremendus envy towards those guys who can pull anything they want with by comparison minimal effort what costs me a fortune in cash.
I feel bitterness towards the women who sleep with those guys. I never really got the occupy wall street thing, those 1% pay the taxes that fund my health care and retirement and with some exceptions help provide the goods and services we use. However lately reading some of those PUA stories and knowing some of them are true I've lately made the connection and understand it now. I am not on board with the occupy wall street or occupy vagina thing because I am not into taking other people's stuff or rape but I get the feelings of envy. Worse because when a guy scores with 100's of girls all he does is pass around the herpes and the HPV which does nothing for me and make these females less trusting after the pump and dump and harder emotionally.
I feel envy towards the loving couples I see in public.
Hell I feel bitterness everytime I see a girl I am attracted to knowing she has allowed other guys who are not me to have sex with her.
Yes I slutshame but it isn't as if they are slutting in my direction, I don't have a problems with it. Also I've been slutshamed and made to feel my hetro orientation is a crime enough in my life to not care.
I feel hopeless that none of this will ever change.
Also being in my mid 40's I am concerned that even if I do change certain things, by the time I for example lose the weight and the excess skin I'll be too told to get with any female who is still attractive. Beyond a certain age few retain their looks and those that do are going to be popular.
Also being in my 40's and in a small town, I wouldn't even know how to meet women. University is a different beast all together.
Sure there is the gym but the compition is harsher there than at a night club and the guy to girl ratio is seriously skewered. Also headphones
I don't work but even when I did I had issues with my co workers and to be honest I don't need to work and don't really want to. My interests have been elsewhere.
They say join something. Well the chess club is usually me and one old dude. It's good but no women there. I looked into something and will probably join it but there are 6 females, 3 too old. 1 way to hot [older but well put together]. and 2 others. I got along excessively well with one but I notice on the facebook she has a guy so thats out. They say its a numbers game. Well how can you game the numbers unless you join a different activity every few weeks as most activities don't have that many people there. Not that there are many options.
Add to that that my hobbies although not WoW style still based on experience are not interesting to anyone else. When you get passionate when the federal or provinvial budget comes out that just makes you weird.

so on and so forth. I wish I had enough money for daily prostitution.


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PostPosted: 16 Jun 2014, 05:30 
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Oh even better
Remember the 40 year old virgin movie. He asks if you don't use it will you lose it.

I've been reading that it is a thing. Maybe related to the grip of death no fap thing or not but one more thing to add to the pile.


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PostPosted: 21 Jun 2014, 07:41 
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Restart80 wrote:
Bootes5714 wrote:
SuperLiam wrote:
I'm in the same boat.

I just recently turned 20, and I started to feel the need for a girlfriend since June 2009 when I was 15. Also, every single girl who acted like they were interested in me were only pretending to do it as a joke. I have never in my entire life had a girl act interested in me and actually meant it. I could barely ask a girl out myself due to fear of humiliation, but when I miracally had the courage to ask one girl out, they flat-out rejected me.

I'm expecting to go to a different town for school in September. I might have a better chance of getting my very first girl friend, but I wouldn't hold my breath for it. It's probably not going to happen.

As of now, I'm at the feeling that I want a girlfriend. But at the same time, I don't want a girlfriend (If that makes any sense).


You make perfect sense, when you see nothing but the dark side of women how else are you supposed to feel? You already know most cannot be trusted unless they demonstrate they merit trust. You shouldn't trust strangers anyway. At least use your prior experience to observe women closely, if your gut tells you she's stringing you along or manipulating you, drop her like a hot potato and move on. Here is one thing you can do, just concentrate on school and achieving success, then when these women that ignored you come running after you later, give them the could shoulder. If you aren't good enough for them now, why would they be good enough for you later? If the kitten did not want you, you do not want the cat. The best revenge a man who women ignore or ridicule when he's young can get is to become successful and shag their sisters or better yet, their daughters or nieces when he's 40 and making a very good living. The biggest mistake you can make as a man is marrying a woman who after she rode the bad boy cock carousel and got knocked up. Why should you pay for another man's brats? That is precisely what's in store for many of them who rejected you, and why in the end it will be them who will be eating a lot of sun ripened crow, not you.


Yeah, agree with this completely. Focusing on my studies; it wouldn't be productive if I invested my time in being a loser white knight (with severe LS). All I can do is try to secure a decent future, and inform other men that society is fucked. Feminism fucks it. And we need to fuck it back.


@OP, I'm 21 and I already feel that "clocking is ticking" pressure. It feels like I'm being progressively backed into a corner that I'll never be able to get out of, and I feel powerless to stop it from happening.


Thanks. I, myself, have the "clock is ticking" pressure feeling with myself, as basically everyone I know has a boy/girl friend. For example, all of my last semester's classmates had a boy/girl friend and had been in relationships in the past. I felt like the oddball in my classroom if I told them about it, which I didn't and kept it to myself. Although, they were really good people, so If I did tell them, they probably wouldn't say much or pity me (I don't know exactly how they would feel, nor do I care.)


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