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Have You Ever Sought Professional help for love shyness?
Yes 25%  25%  [ 2 ]
No 75%  75%  [ 6 ]
Total votes : 8
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PostPosted: 02 Aug 2014, 01:55 
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Has anyone here sought professional help for their issues with love shyness? Have you seen any improvement? I'm talking about therapy and/or anti anxiety medications.


Last edited by Dominista on 02 Aug 2014, 03:13, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: 02 Aug 2014, 02:14 
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No, and it's 'sought', not 'seeked'.

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PostPosted: 02 Aug 2014, 03:07 
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Onkel Willie wrote:
No, and it's 'sought', not 'seeked'.


Thank you.


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PostPosted: 02 Aug 2014, 03:44 
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Loveshyness no. Incel issues yes.

He litterally said he had nothing for me even though his own son was an incel.


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PostPosted: 02 Aug 2014, 03:55 
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There is no point in seeking professional help for something that is not recognized as a disorder, since there are few of us with this problem compared to the total population there's no money to be made off it, also since it's not a "life threatening disease" nobody gives a shit, to them we're just a bunch of losers who are pussies when it comes to talking to girls.
That's the way I've been made to feel by everyone around me, it would seem it is easier to be either homosexual or trans-gendered, at least people can wrap their heads around it, I've had a few people that I've trusted enough to tell them about LS, they cannot understand how I can be completely comfortable talking with women but unable to ask them out for a date.

So basically I'll live out my days never again knowing love, and my family name and I will die alone and nobody will care.

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PostPosted: 02 Aug 2014, 04:09 
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AKU wrote:
There is no point in seeking professional help for something that is not recognized as a disorder, since there are few of us with this problem compared to the total population there's no money to be made off it, also since it's not a "life threatening disease" nobody gives a shit, to them we're just a bunch of losers who are pussies when it comes to talking to girls.
That's the way I've been made to feel by everyone around me, it would seem it is easier to be either homosexual or trans-gendered, at least people can wrap their heads around it, I've had a few people that I've trusted enough to tell them about LS, they cannot understand how I can be completely comfortable talking with women but unable to ask them out for a date.

So basically I'll live out my days never again knowing love, and my family name and I will die alone and nobody will care.


Correct me if I am wrong, but I have always thought "love-shyness" was part of the broader social-anxiety disorder spectrum, for which there ARE several different treatments for, from talk it out type of therapy to scripts for anti anxiety medications.


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PostPosted: 02 Aug 2014, 04:44 
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Aku, you can talk with girls, but are incapable of asking them out on a date? Why, because of constant rejection, fear of being rejected or traditional love-shyness?


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PostPosted: 02 Aug 2014, 04:48 
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Love shy is a type of specific social anxiety much like people who don't have problems with most things but can't say eat in public or use the phone or whatever.

One would think that a shrink would hear the lament of the love shy and quickly be able to frame it as specific social anxiety and move forth from there.
Although I suppose if the patient starts waving around a book and inisist on the doc calling it love shy he might get him or her to play along or just get nowhere. I've actually seen that advice and I don't get it. Double plus bad idea as from what I've read there is some pretty nutty stuff in that guys book.

I've seen some comments on the social anxiety forum which makes me wonder how effective treatment is for those people especially the more extreme cases. Or maybe there are a lot of really bad docs out there.


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PostPosted: 02 Aug 2014, 04:53 
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Also something like talk therapy is not going to be that effective with the love shy who has a history of bitter rejection either by women or by people.

Someone is afraid of going to the movies alone to use an example. You can point out that nobody really gives a shit. Sure they might notice but they will long forget you minutes after the movie is over as well as during.

However you tell someone who is ignored by women or treated like shit all his life by women or both genders that, meh ask her out, whats the worse that can happen and I hope the doc has the rest of his day free because he has no idea.

Sometimes I wonder for some people at least, those with more minor love shy, is love shy a disorder or just a rational responce to a hopeless situation. Tell anyone to do anything which has next to no chance of success and can very well blow up in your face or at least likely lead to unexpressed revultion based on long years of experience and feeling anxiety is a perfectly rational reaction. In my case I can make a move if I think it is welcome [once] but otherwise forget it.
Granted the person who can't talk to women at all is in another boat, OTOH any attemps to dig out of that is a much more difficult course as you have much more fear to overcome over much more areas of action.


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PostPosted: 02 Aug 2014, 05:33 
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Darkseid1701 wrote:
Aku, you can talk with girls, but are incapable of asking them out on a date? Why, because of constant rejection, fear of being rejected or traditional love-shyness?

As long as there is no DSR involved yes I'm perfectly comfortable even in a room full of women where I'm the only male, conversely I'm most uncomfortable in a room full of men,(probably due to abuse as a child) also I was bullied in school by classmates and some faculty (only ginger haired kid in my whole school) the bullying lessened in high-school but a few girls hatched a cruel plan, the short of it is she pretended to be interested in me and then she and her friends humiliated me in front of the whole cafeteria (approximately 250 students) now for someone who has been bullied and abused for the better part of their childhood that was very damaging.

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PostPosted: 02 Aug 2014, 09:07 
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Dominista wrote:
AKU wrote:
There is no point in seeking professional help for something that is not recognized as a disorder, since there are few of us with this problem compared to the total population there's no money to be made off it, also since it's not a "life threatening disease" nobody gives a shit, to them we're just a bunch of losers who are pussies when it comes to talking to girls.
That's the way I've been made to feel by everyone around me, it would seem it is easier to be either homosexual or trans-gendered, at least people can wrap their heads around it, I've had a few people that I've trusted enough to tell them about LS, they cannot understand how I can be completely comfortable talking with women but unable to ask them out for a date.

So basically I'll live out my days never again knowing love, and my family name and I will die alone and nobody will care.


Correct me if I am wrong, but I have always thought "love-shyness" was part of the broader social-anxiety disorder spectrum, for which there ARE several different treatments for, from talk it out type of therapy to scripts for anti anxiety medications.


Love-shyness "could" be seen as a "social anxiety" disorder but, IMO, its a beast of a kind that NO psychotherapy can treat.

Anti-anxiety medications will not help. I believe that there are neurological abnormalities like love-shyness that could work,
since I have had successes in the past, but the main hurdle is to get past the toxic shame and see women for what they
are: just human beings who are wired differently then men, as they must find a "suitable" provider in order to procreate.

Many on LS.com and the MGTOW forums blame women for all manner of things, and many of these things are true, but the fact remains that they are the gatekeepers of sex. When men cannot obtain sex from women, they resort to other means.

Seems to me they are doing an awful job of weeding out high IQ men, in favor of low IQ thugs these days, but it doesn't matter to me, since I have gone MGTOW myself.

I could care less if my genes are passed on to anyone, since this planet is in its last days of the human infection anyhow.

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PostPosted: 02 Aug 2014, 11:41 
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It's not quite the same as social anxiety. I don't even think it could be fit in to a social anxiety template quite well.

Think of it this way. Most people are afraid to be naked in public. Is this social anxiety?
Generally, LS guys have been engineered by their genetics and environment to associate displaying overt romantic interest with a similar shame reaction. It's not so much fear of rejection, as fear of the other person seeing your gesture as inappropriate and shameful.

So, many LS guys can talk to girls fine, but are completely unable to cross the platonic barrier. Personally, I can talk to a girl I don't know if she initiates. But if I went up and talked to a girl I don't know, she could think I'm hitting on her. That possibility combined with LS makes it impossible.

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PostPosted: 03 Aug 2014, 06:40 
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if you know anything about the psychiatric business, people don't seek "help". "help" seeks them.

try being someone who has been chewed up by the machine and then, in desperation, you turn to them for "help". you're not going to get it.

most people who work in this field know exactly what is going on by the way, but for many reasons they can not and will not present meaningful solutions. for one, there aren't any, and for two, they have a vested interest in making sure sexual failures remain sexual failures - we are in this spot for a reason after all.

what a good psych can do is try to help sexual failures cope with their life and treat some of the worst effects of total life failure. it's already bad enough, living a nightmare and being sucked into porn addiction or worse, PUA and its' ilk, is something that can and should be prevented. for the most part though, once someone is marked by the system and their life is ruined, it becomes obvious that the psych not only doesn't care one bit about you, but actively wants to make sure you remember your place - forever. trying to deal with those people on my own showed me just how much it was not just a matter of serving society against people like me, but that they must by the nature of their position hold utter contempt for the people they deal with.

if you are known sexual and professional failure, like me, you will NOT be helped. i suppose the proper place would be to find a therapist that deals with sexual issues, but those are either closed off to people who are deemed defective, or scams. there is anxiety and a host of other mental conditions that need to be dealt with, but even without those things, the ls man has nothing positive to work with in his interactions with others. they would need helpful, practical advice, just like there are normals who need to deal with sexual problems. sex therapists are generally some of the biggest bitches and assholes from what little exposure i've had though - i wouldn't want to spend a minute in a room with them.

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PostPosted: 04 Aug 2014, 04:24 
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Fonduman wrote:
It's not quite the same as social anxiety. I don't even think it could be fit in to a social anxiety template quite well.

Think of it this way. Most people are afraid to be naked in public. Is this social anxiety?
Generally, LS guys have been engineered by their genetics and environment to associate displaying overt romantic interest with a similar shame reaction. It's not so much fear of rejection, as fear of the other person seeing your gesture as inappropriate and shameful.

So, many LS guys can talk to girls fine, but are completely unable to cross the platonic barrier. Personally, I can talk to a girl I don't know if she initiates. But if I went up and talked to a girl I don't know, she could think I'm hitting on her. That possibility combined with LS makes it impossible.


A very good synopsis indeed Fonduman! :coolbeans:

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PostPosted: 09 Aug 2014, 10:29 
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Thank you everyone for your responses. I really do appreciate it! It seems that incel/love-shy is a symptom that can have a lot of causes, which makes it very difficult to find answers :(

I do wish everyone the best in finding happiness.


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