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 Post subject: A New Voice...
PostPosted: 16 Feb 2015, 21:31 
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So I've recently become aware of this growing social issue of not getting any. I'm not trivializing, I'm not trying to troll, & I don't understand what it's like to be incel, or love-shy. Understanding that this problem exists has made me feel kinda guilty, like "pretty privilege".That being said, I've read some of the posts around here & frankly I'm rather concerned, enough so to take time to write all this. I think it might be helpful if you got some insight from a woman's mind as well as a few tips.
The idea that we're all after some muscle bound dude is silly. Meat heads often times the butt of our jokes & we don't want a dude who spends more time in the mirror than we do.
What else isn't hot is being that loud guy who howls at the bar & talks loudly about nothing. Confidence, yes. Stability, no. Drinking problem, probably.
These are the things we think about!
Personally, I find men of all races to be attractive, black dudes, asian dudes, white dudes, eastern europeans.... list goes on. Maybe I'm biased because my race is not easily discerned. If you think race issues affect your chances of love, it's probably your locale.
What sexy is to one, isn't to another....but it seems like there's a lot of self hate on here (I can understand that, I didn't always love myself either) but y'all are being a bit unfair on yourselves. Example, I come home to a skinny ginger & I think he's sexy. I have a friend who's with a guy missing a front tooth & she thinks that's hot. My point is to get these stereotypes about what women want out of your head bc they're skewing your view of the world.
But consider, I spend time on myself; I work out, I eat right, I dress with style in clothes that fit. Why would I want to get with someone who doesn't do those things? If you don't take care of yourself, no woman is going to think you can take care of her. To be clear, clothes don't have to be trendy/expensive to be flattering.
And who the hell started this "women want to sue every ugly guy for sexual harassment idea?" LOL That is so ridiculous. I mean c'mon dude, let's not exaggerate. If a woman is thinking of suing for a come-on, she's a bitch & you don't wanna mess with her anyway.
Which brings me to the next point of meeting chicks. Bars with party vibes probably aren't the place to go if you're shy, but the local dive bars where people are chillin & winding down after work are a much better bet. I'm much more open to talk to different types of people & have more patience with them at places like that; at a party type place, good luck. So on that note, about buying chicks drinks: it don't mean shit. In my case, I'm bought drinks from guys who don't even expect to talk to me, I don't know why they do it. So as mean as it may sound, I feel no obligation whatsoever to a drink-purchaser beyond a friendly thank you. I expect most other women feel this way.
To end, I wish y'all luck on your journey in life & I'm here to answer any questions or help out in any way I possibly can. Love is awesome, I want everyone to experience it.


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 Post subject: Re: A New Voice...
PostPosted: 17 Feb 2015, 12:36 
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Large scale trends are more relevant than an individual data point that in itself is being expressed through the filter of conscious belief vs the more reliable indicator of action and empiricism.

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 Post subject: Re: A New Voice...
PostPosted: 17 Feb 2015, 13:12 
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 Post subject: Re: A New Voice...
PostPosted: 17 Feb 2015, 17:16 
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Fonduman wrote:
Large scale trends are more relevant than an individual data point that in itself is being expressed through the filter of conscious belief vs the more reliable indicator of action and empiricism.


Do you ever say "aint”? Or "gonna”?


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 Post subject: Re: A New Voice...
PostPosted: 17 Feb 2015, 17:31 
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Fonduman wrote:
Large scale trends are more relevant than an individual data point that in itself is being expressed through the filter of conscious belief vs the more reliable indicator of action and empiricism.

How does one "express a data point through action and empiricism"? :crazy:


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 Post subject: Re: A New Voice...
PostPosted: 17 Feb 2015, 18:06 
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Nature Boy wrote:
Fonduman wrote:
Large scale trends are more relevant than an individual data point that in itself is being expressed through the filter of conscious belief vs the more reliable indicator of action and empiricism.

How does one "express a data point through action and empiricism"? :crazy:


you've read it as
data(express(conscious belief)) vs data(express(action,empiricism))

it's more like

data(expressed by conscious belief) vs data(action, empiricism)

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 Post subject: Re: A New Voice...
PostPosted: 17 Feb 2015, 18:07 
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Struggling101 wrote:
Fonduman wrote:
Large scale trends are more relevant than an individual data point that in itself is being expressed through the filter of conscious belief vs the more reliable indicator of action and empiricism.


Do you ever say "aint”? Or "gonna”?


I say "gonna" because it's a reasonable shortening/slang of "going to", but "aint" is kinda retarded because it's "[they] aren't" or "I'm not".

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 Post subject: Re: A New Voice...
PostPosted: 17 Feb 2015, 18:11 
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Sooo.... y'all act like assholes & wonder why people don't wanna hang out with you?
Large scale trends may be more relevant than one person's opinion, but one person is capable of changing another view of the world. It seems y'all have pretty effectively scared off non-incels who want to help but I still have put myself out here, up for y'alls abuse, despite this obvious fact.


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 Post subject: Re: A New Voice...
PostPosted: 17 Feb 2015, 18:22 
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APrettyLady wrote:
Sooo.... y'all act like assholes & wonder why people don't wanna hang out with you?


So, only two people have directly replied to you so far and yet all of us are friendless assholes?

APrettyLady wrote:
It seems y'all have pretty effectively scared off non-incels who want to help but I still have put myself out here, up for y'alls abuse, despite this obvious fact.


Not trying to "scare" you away or anything - I couldn't care less if you stay or leave - but you are far from the first to do this and you probably won't be the last either. You'll receive some "abuse", yeah, but if you take the time to even try to understand what these guys are going through and be respectful, you'll be better received. Right now, we can only assume you're just like the rest who came before you, with no understanding of the general situation of board members, with tired, debunked platitudes in hand, and a chip on your shoulder.

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 Post subject: Re: A New Voice...
PostPosted: 17 Feb 2015, 20:07 
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APrettyLady wrote:
Sooo.... y'all act like assholes & wonder why people don't wanna hang out with you?
Large scale trends may be more relevant than one person's opinion, but one person is capable of changing another view of the world. It seems y'all have pretty effectively scared off non-incels who want to help but I still have put myself out here, up for y'alls abuse, despite this obvious fact.


If you say "y'all" that much you're going on ignore anyway :p

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 Post subject: Re: A New Voice...
PostPosted: 17 Feb 2015, 20:29 
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True, few responses to this post & I'm admittedly judging by reactions to other posts. Honestly, I'll never understand what y'all go through as I've never had this problem. But I do have some knowledge about it bc I live with 2 incels & see how cripplingly awkward they are & one has a total inability to interact with anyone on a normal level. So I get that telling someone like that those same worn out phrases like "just be yourself" aren't gonna do shit but make that person feel more helpless.
I'm here bc I love people & I'm interested in the different experiences we have.
I'm just saying, when I want something, I look for someone who has already achieved what I want & is willing to help me obtain that desire, not someone floundering in their attempts.
I only want to help, even with my lack of understanding, I have care.


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 Post subject: Re: A New Voice...
PostPosted: 17 Feb 2015, 20:37 
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Sorry honey, I say y'all bc I'm from the south. I'm totally cool with who I am & how I talk. I "ain't" gotta pretend to be something else for the inter-webs :)


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 Post subject: Re: A New Voice...
PostPosted: 17 Feb 2015, 21:50 
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APrettyLady wrote:
Sooo.... y'all act like assholes & wonder why people don't wanna hang out with you?
Large scale trends may be more relevant than one person's opinion, but one person is capable of changing another view of the world. It seems y'all have pretty effectively scared off non-incels who want to help but I still have put myself out here, up for y'alls abuse, despite this obvious fact.

Let's try this a different way shall we?

The people you are meeting on this forum have come to the conclusion that women simply aren't interested in them. We are a subset of men who are excluded from romantic interaction with women primarily due to tired obsolete traditions and bad legislation. This has led to a great deal of animosity and distrust of women; as many seem incapable of relating to the difficulties we face.

Rather than be scared off. Try to understand things from our point of view.

Many of us simply cannot grasp the concept of asserting ourselves toward a woman. Women are bombarded with attention from men everywhere. However, we don't particularly stand out as men who would interest these women. Those of us who gather the courage to try to interact with women are unanimously rejected or ignored; often in rude humiliating ways. Those of us who don't give up, are STILL unanimously rejected or ignored. If we are polite, sensitive or generous, we are not respected. If we are assertive, aggressive or direct, we are seen as brutes, creeps, or pervs and quickly rejected/dismissed. Bottom line; we have absolutely no way to affect our ability to succeed with women; as you all judge men by characteristics that are completely out of our control.

The dating scene is a joke and a bad one at that. We spend our early adult years being tricked into spending time, effort and money on dates with women who have no intention of ever seeing us again. We have to deal with all the hypocrisy, unrealistic expectations and sense of entitlement that most women exhibit as well as competition from other men. If (when) we fail to meet these expectations and outshine the competition, we are promptly shown the door. Meanwhile, we have to listen to women complaining that "there are no good men left" when we are just as good as any other man, yet we are rejected/ignored.

The men here are beyond any concept of emotional suffering you or any other woman can understand, as society is set up to shield women from all forms of disadvantage at our expense. As such, because you are a women, you will be regarded as an uninformed agitator until you demonstrate otherwise. Attributes that will help you here include intelligence, curiosity, sincerity, self-awareness, an open mind and the ability to explain your views through facts and observations rather than beliefs or opinions. Finally, it helps if you understand just how ridiculous our society's mating 'rules' really are.

Welcome to the forum.

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 Post subject: Re: A New Voice...
PostPosted: 17 Feb 2015, 22:20 
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Cerebral_barrier, seriously, you stated that so well I can't not respond.
I agree that many women have this "I'm too good for you" attitude & instead of letting men off easy, they'd rather humiliate them for their own schadenfreude. But I hope it's recognized there are plenty of good women out there, just like I'm sure some of y'all are good men who just haven't yet been found.
I'd really appreciate it if you'd expand on the idea that women are sheltered from disadvantage at your expense. I'm trying to grasp that concept but perhaps intelligence is not my strong point, although I work on the others
Also, perhaps it's bc I am female (& love breaking rules), I've never considered these "dating rules" & am not sure what they entail.


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 Post subject: Re: A New Voice...
PostPosted: 17 Feb 2015, 22:34 
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Bottom line, I've been rejected by women all my life and there's nothing you or me can do about it.


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