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 Post subject: Beating loveshyness
PostPosted: 07 Jun 2014, 18:24 
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Several months ago I found a program on a site (related somewhat to the "pickup community") that targets specifically getting rid of approach anxiety, when approaching women. It's a long well-thought out program that has you doing exercises each day in order to reduce your anxiety. Also it's free, nothing to buy.

If you're loveshy, then even some of the early exercises may be difficult for you, but they're definitely possible. Theoretically, if you did one exercise per day and didn't feel the need to repeat any exercise at all, you could do the entire program in two months, but if you're loveshy, maybe it will take you a lot longer than that, maybe even a year. If you get through the entire program, you will have much more confidence than almost any other guy, and you know that even if that takes a year it's totally worth it.

I've now gone through most of the program, and it's very worthwhile in my opinion, even just for the boost in confidence you'll have in your everyday life. I haven't yet done a lot of approaching girls on the streets, but I have done some, and most importantly I now don't feel that it's too difficult to do (and I used to be completely loveshy, just as much as anyone here). (You obviously don't have to approach girls on the street if you don't want to, but just having the confidence to do so will help you out in almost every other area of your life, especially with girls that you meet in other ways.)

http://www.goodlookingloser.com/anxiety/program

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  • The rate at which a person can mature is directly proportional to the embarrassment he can tolerate.
  • Who dares wins. -- Motto of Sayeret Matkal, i.a.
  • The highest courage is to dare to appear to be what one is. -- John Lancaster Spalding


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 Post subject: Re: Beating loveshyness
PostPosted: 08 Jun 2014, 03:52 
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I believe GLL's program has a caveat about not starting the AA program if you moderate or severe social anxiety (as LS is typically defined to be)


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 Post subject: Re: Beating loveshyness
PostPosted: 08 Jun 2014, 20:33 
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dilettante wrote:
I believe GLL's program has a caveat about not starting the AA program if you moderate or severe social anxiety (as LS is typically defined to be)


Yes, that's true. He recommends taking care of your social anxiety first. So if you're doing that then great. You can do the approach anxiety program after. But I don't think he has any specific recommendations for social anxiety at this time, other than maybe therapy, which has inconsistent results in any case. If you're just using the fact that he recommends taking care of social anxiety first as an excuse to put off doing anything, then you would probably be better of doing the AA program and taking it very slowly, especially concentrating on the first few weeks of exercises.

Anyway, what got me over my social anxiety was exercises like this, so I recommend it, if you're willing to do the work.

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  • It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that things are difficult. -- Seneca Maior
  • The rate at which a person can mature is directly proportional to the embarrassment he can tolerate.
  • Who dares wins. -- Motto of Sayeret Matkal, i.a.
  • The highest courage is to dare to appear to be what one is. -- John Lancaster Spalding


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 Post subject: Re: Beating loveshyness
PostPosted: 09 Jun 2014, 00:21 
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Social anxiety can be suppressed with drugs.


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 Post subject: Re: Beating loveshyness
PostPosted: 11 Jun 2014, 00:03 
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Shalom aruquon!

Yes I'd agree, GLL does have some good stuff, even information for unattractive guys on how they can improve their looks the best they can. But for both loveshys and incels it comes with a word of caution - it still isn't guaranteed to work for everyone. This type of advice (like any advice really) is never going to work for everybody who follows it. Everyone is different. You need to figure out what information being presented will work for you and go with that, then hope that it does indeed work for you.

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 Post subject: Re: Beating loveshyness
PostPosted: 14 Jun 2014, 17:39 
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The Love God wrote:
Shalom aruquon!

Yes I'd agree, GLL does have some good stuff, even information for unattractive guys on how they can improve their looks the best they can. But for both loveshys and incels it comes with a word of caution - it still isn't guaranteed to work for everyone. This type of advice (like any advice really) is never going to work for everybody who follows it. Everyone is different. You need to figure out what information being presented will work for you and go with that, then hope that it does indeed work for you.


Well, you can't know if it will work for you until you try it. Anyway, I just wanted to be sure that anyone here who might be interested in trying that information was aware of it. If you don't want to try, obviously you shouldn't.

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  • It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that things are difficult. -- Seneca Maior
  • The rate at which a person can mature is directly proportional to the embarrassment he can tolerate.
  • Who dares wins. -- Motto of Sayeret Matkal, i.a.
  • The highest courage is to dare to appear to be what one is. -- John Lancaster Spalding


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 Post subject: Re: Beating loveshyness
PostPosted: 16 Mar 2017, 17:46 
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From what I skimmed of that website, it looks something helpful. It's great that there are now a host of online resources out there to help LS men, much of the reason I was able to overcome mine, and I would encourage anyone to take advantage of those. One that I used was doctornerdlove.com, but hey, don't sell yourself short. Do whatever it takes, both online and in-person. Before Internet, I wished I would've read books & magazines, as well as attended organized events, seminars, etc. that help men have successful dating opportunities.


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 Post subject: Re: Beating loveshyness
PostPosted: 17 Mar 2017, 06:41 
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Alcohol iis the only thing that works for me. If that.


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 Post subject: Re: Beating loveshyness
PostPosted: 27 Mar 2017, 19:23 
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This seems a bit like exposure therapy. I thin I might try this.


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