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 Post subject: Re: How I Got Laid
PostPosted: 21 May 2015, 01:01 
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ThePlatonicIdeal wrote:
Catapault55 wrote:
Yeah, she's my first GF.
She says that she's attracted to my personality, not my looks.


How do you and she compare, looks-wise?

She isn't the sexiest girl out there but she likes the same nerdy stuff that I like.

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 Post subject: Re: How I Got Laid
PostPosted: 05 Jul 2015, 23:16 
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Update: we recently had to break up but finding male friends is still my main goal in life. Everything I said about brotherhood is still true.

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 Post subject: Re: How I Got Laid
PostPosted: 05 Jul 2015, 23:26 
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Catapault55 wrote:
Update: we recently had to break up but finding male friends is still my main goal in life. Everything I said about brotherhood is still true.


You have my condolences.

I don't of course know the exact circumstances of the break up, but in my previous experience, the compliments she ascribed you that you explained in the first post here tend to not mean the same things as they would if we said them. I mean, they don't have the same significance. Maybe the same intent. But I've had a girl I was involved with say I'm the greatest guy she ever met. That I'm attractive, smart, I understand her, I support her... then one day she just inexplicably breaks it off, no explanation. You can't take what they say at face value. When we say a girl is great, it means we'll be with her for a long time unless she drastically changes. I don't know exactly what goes on in the heads of girls, but their words often mean nothing.

In some ways, you're better off if they say they hate you, because girls are always going on about the exes they hated, who they screwed, while you never got out of the friendzone in the first place.

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 Post subject: Re: How I Got Laid
PostPosted: 06 Jul 2015, 10:33 
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Fonduman wrote:
Catapault55 wrote:
Update: we recently had to break up but finding male friends is still my main goal in life. Everything I said about brotherhood is still true.


You have my condolences.

I don't of course know the exact circumstances of the break up, but in my previous experience, the compliments she ascribed you that you explained in the first post here tend to not mean the same things as they would if we said them. I mean, they don't have the same significance. Maybe the same intent. But I've had a girl I was involved with say I'm the greatest guy she ever met. That I'm attractive, smart, I understand her, I support her... then one day she just inexplicably breaks it off, no explanation. You can't take what they say at face value. When we say a girl is great, it means we'll be with her for a long time unless she drastically changes. I don't know exactly what goes on in the heads of girls, but their words often mean nothing.

In some ways, you're better off if they say they hate you, because girls are always going on about the exes they hated, who they screwed, while you never got out of the friendzone in the first place.


Really sorry it didn't work out C.

Erm, sidebar F... They're going on about how much they hate them BECAUSE they are their exes. Something happened to make them hate them which is why they're their exes! They didn't hate them at the time they were screwing them!

Nb. C, I have no idea the circumstances of this breakup and obviously it's possible to end a relationship without acrimony, I'm not saying that girls always hate their exes. Just that if they do its because of the reason they are an ex rather than current bf.


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 Post subject: Re: How I Got Laid
PostPosted: 06 Jul 2015, 12:59 
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catsfan wrote:
Fonduman wrote:
Catapault55 wrote:
Update: we recently had to break up but finding male friends is still my main goal in life. Everything I said about brotherhood is still true.


You have my condolences.

I don't of course know the exact circumstances of the break up, but in my previous experience, the compliments she ascribed you that you explained in the first post here tend to not mean the same things as they would if we said them. I mean, they don't have the same significance. Maybe the same intent. But I've had a girl I was involved with say I'm the greatest guy she ever met. That I'm attractive, smart, I understand her, I support her... then one day she just inexplicably breaks it off, no explanation. You can't take what they say at face value. When we say a girl is great, it means we'll be with her for a long time unless she drastically changes. I don't know exactly what goes on in the heads of girls, but their words often mean nothing.

In some ways, you're better off if they say they hate you, because girls are always going on about the exes they hated, who they screwed, while you never got out of the friendzone in the first place.


Really sorry it didn't work out C.

Erm, sidebar F... They're going on about how much they hate them BECAUSE they are their exes. Something happened to make them hate them which is why they're their exes! They didn't hate them at the time they were screwing them!

Nb. C, I have no idea the circumstances of this breakup and obviously it's possible to end a relationship without acrimony, I'm not saying that girls always hate their exes. Just that if they do its because of the reason they are an ex rather than current bf.


Nah, the things they did to them that they now hate them for, they were doing all along. It's not that simplistic as their exes were nice and things were good, and then they did something bad, so they left them and hate them for it. It goes more like, the guy was an asshole the whole time, which attracted the girls, but eventually, after a long time, they decided they couldn't put up with him being asshole anymore because he was getting worse and worse, so they left him, but they feel frustrated because their feelings are conflicted, because the actions that drove them away are the same actions that make them want them back. Rationally, they know they should ditch the asshole, but emotionally the asshole makes them wet.

Contrast that with the nice guy. Rationally, they know he would make a good partner, but there's no emotional or instinctive appeal, because he isn't an asshole. So what's a partner who isn't sexually or romantically implicated? A friend.

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 Post subject: Re: How I Got Laid
PostPosted: 06 Jul 2015, 13:32 
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Catapault55 wrote:
Update: we recently had to break up but finding male friends is still my main goal in life. Everything I said about brotherhood is still true.

don't know if I'm surprised

not sure how a young lady could suffer such a person

I mean no offence by this btw, well as little as possible


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 Post subject: Re: How I Got Laid
PostPosted: 06 Jul 2015, 13:37 
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Fonduman wrote:
catsfan wrote:
Fonduman wrote:
Catapault55 wrote:
Update: we recently had to break up but finding male friends is still my main goal in life. Everything I said about brotherhood is still true.


You have my condolences.

I don't of course know the exact circumstances of the break up, but in my previous experience, the compliments she ascribed you that you explained in the first post here tend to not mean the same things as they would if we said them. I mean, they don't have the same significance. Maybe the same intent. But I've had a girl I was involved with say I'm the greatest guy she ever met. That I'm attractive, smart, I understand her, I support her... then one day she just inexplicably breaks it off, no explanation. You can't take what they say at face value. When we say a girl is great, it means we'll be with her for a long time unless she drastically changes. I don't know exactly what goes on in the heads of girls, but their words often mean nothing.

In some ways, you're better off if they say they hate you, because girls are always going on about the exes they hated, who they screwed, while you never got out of the friendzone in the first place.


Really sorry it didn't work out C.

Erm, sidebar F... They're going on about how much they hate them BECAUSE they are their exes. Something happened to make them hate them which is why they're their exes! They didn't hate them at the time they were screwing them!

Nb. C, I have no idea the circumstances of this breakup and obviously it's possible to end a relationship without acrimony, I'm not saying that girls always hate their exes. Just that if they do its because of the reason they are an ex rather than current bf.


Nah, the things they did to them that they now hate them for, they were doing all along. It's not that simplistic as their exes were nice and things were good, and then they did something bad, so they left them and hate them for it. It goes more like, the guy was an asshole the whole time, which attracted the girls, but eventually, after a long time, they decided they couldn't put up with him being asshole anymore because he was getting worse and worse, so they left him, but they feel frustrated because their feelings are conflicted, because the actions that drove them away are the same actions that make them want them back. Rationally, they know they should ditch the asshole, but emotionally the asshole makes them wet.

Contrast that with the nice guy. Rationally, they know he would make a good partner, but there's no emotional or instinctive appeal, because he isn't an asshole. So what's a partner who isn't sexually or romantically implicated? A friend.


Agree this is sometimes the case that you can love someone so much that you allow them to treat you badly. But they didn't hate them from the first moment they met them.

Your contrast is flawed, agree that a partner without sexual or romantic attraction is a friend. But that doesn't mean nice guys don't get laid/have partners. I've dated nice guys, I've friends who are nice guys. The element of sexual attraction or the absence of it has absolutely nothing to do with how nice they are or otherwise.

Anyway, don't mean to disrail the thread.


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 Post subject: Re: How I Got Laid
PostPosted: 06 Jul 2015, 13:41 
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catsfan wrote:
Fonduman wrote:
catsfan wrote:
Fonduman wrote:
Catapault55 wrote:
Update: we recently had to break up but finding male friends is still my main goal in life. Everything I said about brotherhood is still true.


You have my condolences.

I don't of course know the exact circumstances of the break up, but in my previous experience, the compliments she ascribed you that you explained in the first post here tend to not mean the same things as they would if we said them. I mean, they don't have the same significance. Maybe the same intent. But I've had a girl I was involved with say I'm the greatest guy she ever met. That I'm attractive, smart, I understand her, I support her... then one day she just inexplicably breaks it off, no explanation. You can't take what they say at face value. When we say a girl is great, it means we'll be with her for a long time unless she drastically changes. I don't know exactly what goes on in the heads of girls, but their words often mean nothing.

In some ways, you're better off if they say they hate you, because girls are always going on about the exes they hated, who they screwed, while you never got out of the friendzone in the first place.


Really sorry it didn't work out C.

Erm, sidebar F... They're going on about how much they hate them BECAUSE they are their exes. Something happened to make them hate them which is why they're their exes! They didn't hate them at the time they were screwing them!

Nb. C, I have no idea the circumstances of this breakup and obviously it's possible to end a relationship without acrimony, I'm not saying that girls always hate their exes. Just that if they do its because of the reason they are an ex rather than current bf.


Nah, the things they did to them that they now hate them for, they were doing all along. It's not that simplistic as their exes were nice and things were good, and then they did something bad, so they left them and hate them for it. It goes more like, the guy was an asshole the whole time, which attracted the girls, but eventually, after a long time, they decided they couldn't put up with him being asshole anymore because he was getting worse and worse, so they left him, but they feel frustrated because their feelings are conflicted, because the actions that drove them away are the same actions that make them want them back. Rationally, they know they should ditch the asshole, but emotionally the asshole makes them wet.

Contrast that with the nice guy. Rationally, they know he would make a good partner, but there's no emotional or instinctive appeal, because he isn't an asshole. So what's a partner who isn't sexually or romantically implicated? A friend.


Agree this is sometimes the case that you can love someone so much that you allow them to treat you badly.


This is the main flaw in modern women's thinking. They backwards rationalise loving assholes as loving them despite being an asshole, when they love them because they're an asshole.
Meanwhile, they tell guys that if they're assholes, no woman will love them.

This lack of self-awareness and discrepancy in action and words sows chaos everywhere.

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 Post subject: Re: How I Got Laid
PostPosted: 06 Jul 2015, 13:51 
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[/quote]

This is the main flaw in modern women's thinking. They backwards rationalise loving assholes as loving them despite being an asshole, when they love them because they're an asshole.
Meanwhile, they tell guys that if they're assholes, no woman will love them.

This lack of self-awareness and discrepancy in action and words sows chaos everywhere.[/quote]

What a bizarre assertion. Sounds like someone who doesn't understand trying to rationalize what they see. Sadly, because they don't understand the explanation is way off. I have never in my whole life been on a first date where I have been asked 'How was it?' and replied 'So great, he was rude, mean and just an all around asshole!'


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 Post subject: Re: How I Got Laid
PostPosted: 06 Jul 2015, 13:59 
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Quote:

What a bizarre assertion. Sounds like someone who doesn't understand trying to rationalize what they see. Sadly, because they don't understand the explanation is way off. I have never in my whole life been on a first date where I have been asked 'How was it?' and replied 'So great, he was rude, mean and just an all around asshole!'


You don't seem capable of separating statistical trends from your personal past...

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 Post subject: Re: How I Got Laid
PostPosted: 06 Jul 2015, 14:04 
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Fonduman wrote:
Quote:

What a bizarre assertion. Sounds like someone who doesn't understand trying to rationalize what they see. Sadly, because they don't understand the explanation is way off. I have never in my whole life been on a first date where I have been asked 'How was it?' and replied 'So great, he was rude, mean and just an all around asshole!'


You don't seem capable of separating statistical trends from your personal past...


You haven't shown me any statistical trends.


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 Post subject: Re: How I Got Laid
PostPosted: 06 Jul 2015, 14:12 
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catsfan wrote:
Fonduman wrote:
Quote:

What a bizarre assertion. Sounds like someone who doesn't understand trying to rationalize what they see. Sadly, because they don't understand the explanation is way off. I have never in my whole life been on a first date where I have been asked 'How was it?' and replied 'So great, he was rude, mean and just an all around asshole!'


You don't seem capable of separating statistical trends from your personal past...


You haven't shown me any statistical trends.


I don't need to because I'm not making a provable assertion, I'm supplying my opinion, but my opinion is based around my perception of large scale trends, and not, in some narcissistic twisted way, your specific personal past, which in itself I'm hearing only through your own rationalisations of what happened, and not by observing it first hand, which makes it irrelevant in either case.

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 Post subject: Re: How I Got Laid
PostPosted: 06 Jul 2015, 14:18 
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Fonduman wrote:
catsfan wrote:
Fonduman wrote:
Quote:

What a bizarre assertion. Sounds like someone who doesn't understand trying to rationalize what they see. Sadly, because they don't understand the explanation is way off. I have never in my whole life been on a first date where I have been asked 'How was it?' and replied 'So great, he was rude, mean and just an all around asshole!'


You don't seem capable of separating statistical trends from your personal past...


You haven't shown me any statistical trends.


I don't need to because I'm not making a provable assertion, I'm supplying my opinion, but my opinion is based around my perception of large scale trends, and not, in some narcissistic twisted way, your specific personal past, which in itself I'm hearing only through your own rationalisations of what happened, and not by observing it first hand, which makes it irrelevant in either case.


So my experiences are invalid, yours are not? You say you're detailing an observation of social trend, but I'm saying, I observe no such trend. I'm drawing on my own experiences, and what I see around me. Exactly like you. I'm happy for you to declare that invalid due to lack of concrete evidence, but that standard also invalidates your statements. I won't tolerate being held to a different standard.


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 Post subject: Re: How I Got Laid
PostPosted: 06 Jul 2015, 14:22 
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catsfan wrote:
Fonduman wrote:
I don't need to because I'm not making a provable assertion, I'm supplying my opinion, but my opinion is based around my perception of large scale trends, and not, in some narcissistic twisted way, your specific personal past, which in itself I'm hearing only through your own rationalisations of what happened, and not by observing it first hand, which makes it irrelevant in either case.


So my experiences are invalid, yours are not? You say you're detailing an observation of social trend, but I'm saying, I observe no such trend. I'm drawing on my own experiences, and what I see around me. Exactly like you. I'm happy for you to declare that invalid due to lack of concrete evidence, but that standard also invalidates your statements. I won't tolerate being held to a different standard.


No, you're trying to counter my statement of large trends with a statement of your personal past, so I'm saying I don't consider it a valid counter. Can you seriously not just see the big flaw instead of this melodramatic stupidity?

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 Post subject: Re: How I Got Laid
PostPosted: 06 Jul 2015, 14:33 
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Fonduman wrote:
catsfan wrote:
Fonduman wrote:
I don't need to because I'm not making a provable assertion, I'm supplying my opinion, but my opinion is based around my perception of large scale trends, and not, in some narcissistic twisted way, your specific personal past, which in itself I'm hearing only through your own rationalisations of what happened, and not by observing it first hand, which makes it irrelevant in either case.


So my experiences are invalid, yours are not? You say you're detailing an observation of social trend, but I'm saying, I observe no such trend. I'm drawing on my own experiences, and what I see around me. Exactly like you. I'm happy for you to declare that invalid due to lack of concrete evidence, but that standard also invalidates your statements. I won't tolerate being held to a different standard.


No, you're trying to counter my statement of large trends with a statement of your personal past, so I'm saying I don't consider it a valid counter. Can you seriously not just see the big flaw instead of this melodramatic stupidity?


Your statement of large trends, which is completely unsupported by objective evidence, and from my point of view, unsupported by even subjective evidence. A trend is not a trend just because you say it is. I can see the big flaw, but it's not the one you see. Our arguments are exactly the same, assertions drawn from our subjective experience and observations. The only difference (apart from the conclusion we reached) is that I used my own specific personal experience first. You say that's invalid? Then disregard it. My position on the matter remains the same.


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