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PostPosted: 05 May 2017, 23:45 
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Hey everyone,
I am 33 and have had a life with a lot of relocations due to my father's job which is one of the main reasons of my love shyness.

I have made my good friends at the age of 22 and lost them at the age of 28 as I restarted moving around again.

Nonetheless, the issue is that most of my friends have found a girlfriend while I remained single and it does hurt, just like going to marriages and being alone.

My question is, especially to the less young love-shys, what is the hardest age to be a love shy?

My worst period has been around 30 when I realized that people were moving on while I was remaining single.


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PostPosted: 06 May 2017, 06:54 
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Welcome.
Any age sucks, IMHO
it seems to feel worse as you get older, as the flame of hope slowly dies inside you while seeing nieces and nephews that you used to babysit are now married with children of their own.
Frankly I don't know what keeps me going anymore or what keeps me from emptying all seven bottles of my meds into a glass of Stoli black cherry vodka and downing it and hoping it doesn't hurt too much before the end comes.
I'm not purposely trying to scare you or freak you out, it's you just happen to have caught me at a bad time, and I'll sum it up with a quote I found a long time ago " I'm tired, the kind of tired that sleep can't fix"
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I usually get this way after reading or watching too much romance, I keep falling into that same damn trap :banghead:

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I HELD THE BLADE IN TREMBLING HANDS PREPARED TO MAKE IT BUT

Just then the phone rang...

I never had the nerve to make the final...

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PostPosted: 09 May 2017, 04:42 
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Mid 30s...


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PostPosted: 09 May 2017, 10:20 
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sevs17 wrote:
My question is, especially to the less young love-shys, what is the hardest age to be a love shy?


About 21-25. Up to 20 you may be still considered a "late bloomer", after 25 you'll somewhat get used to your situation, grow a tougher skin and find your own way to cope with it; this also improves your changes to meet someone.

But these years are the worst, for many reasons.

FYI: I'm 40 and married.

Y.


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PostPosted: 09 May 2017, 17:28 
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age 12-16 are the fool years. those are the years girls will hit on you, but due to social programming you will feel too afraid to flirt back.
age 18-21 are the years of coming out the closet. Those years you will finally get the courage to start to feel no shame about your own sexuality. Ironically, at that time, is when people will reject you the most and shame you the hardest about your sexuality.
21-25 are the years of false hope. Those are the years you will tell yourself "I will get laid before my next birthday..." but never do.
26 and onward is the downward slope. those are the years of physical illness, when you have lost the will to live, and you lose energy and hope completely, and just feel physically sick from sheer crippling loneliness all the time. This is the beginning of your descent on the lonely road of perdition.


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PostPosted: 11 May 2017, 20:26 
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sevs17 wrote:
Hey everyone,
I am 33 and have had a life with a lot of relocations due to my father's job which is one of the main reasons of my love shyness.

I have made my good friends at the age of 22 and lost them at the age of 28 as I restarted moving around again.

Nonetheless, the issue is that most of my friends have found a girlfriend while I remained single and it does hurt, just like going to marriages and being alone.

My question is, especially to the less young love-shys, what is the hardest age to be a love shy?

My worst period has been around 30 when I realized that people were moving on while I was remaining single.


At 20 is when I started searching the internet for whats wrong with me. 5 years from now I'll be 30 ugh I hate thinking about it and hope I dont live to see it. I already feel what you do and hate those around me who were just born superior to me and theres nothing I can do about it.

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PostPosted: 13 May 2017, 21:47 
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It depends, and the portions of it that are most difficult change as you get older. I'm in my mid-40's, and I'm guessing that it doesn't change too much from here on out, but... I don't know for sure.

I never even considered it odd until my mid 20's, maybe later. It was a different time then, without the internet to foster discussions with such a wide range of people. I didn't know anyone else I'd consider LS growing up, and I'm not aware of anyone who considered me way out of the ordinary. I simply didn't date, but on any given day, lots of other guys didn't have dates either. It was a total non-issue. I know that others in that age group have had vastly different experiences, but that's what it was like for me.

Then my friends started getting married. That was a bit of a wake-up call. At most of those weddings, I was the only person without a date (not counting widowed grandparents, etc.). That started getting a bit awkward. But I was usually in a group of friends (and their dates) who knew me, and it was okay. But you start to feel dissociated with your peer group.

Now I'm in my 40's. My friends' children are pursuing relationships of their own, and it's not uncommon for me to think things like "I remember this kid in diapers, and now he/she's curled up on the couch with girlfriend/boyfriend". It makes you feel both very naive and very old at the same time.

Mostly now, it's not the day-to-day stuff that's a bother. I'm used to being single. I'm used to being the only single person at pretty much every social event that I go to. Now the most difficult thing is the feeling of knowing that I've missed out, that I'm unlikely in my lifetime to ever to find romance or intimacy. Knowing that I'm way, way too old for people with even my approximate levels of experience, and that people in my age group are unlikely to even consider a romantic relationship with me. It's just... limbo.

I think the part that's the most difficult depends on our own personalities. It can be rough anytime -- but *why* it's rough changes.


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PostPosted: 20 May 2017, 19:03 
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Thanks to all! I appreciate all your comments!

Unfortunately time is going on and a lot of my friends are moving on and I somehow feel that the best thing to do is to not expect a girlfriend to arrive. I have stopped going out with many historic friends as they did not understand me and made stupid comments blaming me of being single while the only comment that I wanted to hear was: "I ams sorry about your situation".

Being single is not easy at all and inevitably brings to depression every now and then but am slowly improving on that side.


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PostPosted: 22 May 2017, 20:21 
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For me different ages had different problems.

When I was young, in my teens, others would mock or take the piss out of me for not getting laid. But I still had a feeling that I had plenty of time left.

When I reached my thirties I definitely felt different and did my best to hide that fact that I was still a virgin. However, people don't take a great interest in your private life, or the lack of it, by that age, at least not to your face.

When I reached 40, I was a walking joke.

I don't know which age was the worst. But mid to late twenties were the least worst. During my mid/late twenties no one mocked me, in fact some of my friends hoped I would find a girlfriend. I still had a feeling that it was not to late.

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PostPosted: 07 Jul 2017, 19:48 
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Hmmm, good question. Going on my own first-hand experience I think the longer a man is LS, especially going into his 30's and up, the longer he not only lives through the experience of it, but also has to deal with the memories of it, which in a sense is worse than if someone in their 20's is LS and "nips it in the bud" before it drags out too long (of course not insinuating that LS can't be overcome at a later age as I can personally testify to).


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PostPosted: 23 Jul 2017, 00:48 
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As others have responded, it could be at different ages. However, I think one of the worst ages could be when one is in High School. Think about it. For most people forming attractions and bonds with members of the opposite sex (or same sex if homosexual) occurs during one's teenage years. There have been discussions on these forums regarding the negative effects of those who miss out on dating in HS. Sure, it's possible to catch up as a late bloomer, but it does feel odd if one his getting his first gf in his 20s while his peers are either in a serious LTR or have ridden the pussy carousel a few times already.


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