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How I do online dating
http://www.love-shy.com/lsbb/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=9927
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Author:  Fairly shy [ 18 Mar 2017, 19:15 ]
Post subject:  Re: How I do online dating

zx123 wrote:
When I do contact women directly 90% of the time they don't respond, and when they do they say 'not for me', 'no thanks' or 'sorry your not my type'.


I would say, you really need to message a lot of women. I'd try to put out several each day, and keep that up for weeks.

Also send some messages without a proper picture of themselves.

If I were still in need of a girlfriend, I think I'd also try lonely hearts columns. These may attract shy girls, and my experience was that shy young man (me) met very shy girl, and things went very slowly, but got there in the end!

Without dating schemes of one sort or another, I might still be a virgin at 67!

FS

Author:  zx123 [ 19 Mar 2017, 19:54 ]
Post subject:  Re: How I do online dating

Ok, thanks for the advice.
I think I will give up on the free dating sites. Everytime I message somebody, they ignore me.
Even women who have liked my picture either ignore me or close their account when I message them.

I think I might try a few pay dating sites to see what they are like.
Do lonely hearts columns still exist? I would try them if they do but I'm not sure where to look.

Author:  zx123 [ 19 Mar 2017, 19:56 ]
Post subject:  Re: How I do online dating

I don't understand why so many women ignore my messages, I have sent lots of messages today, and I haven't had one reply.

Author:  Fairly shy [ 23 Mar 2017, 21:08 ]
Post subject:  Re: How I do online dating

zx123 wrote:
Do lonely hearts columns still exist? I would try them if they do but I'm not sure where to look.


Well I notice them now and again - try local newspapers. I think some national newspapers do them too, but then the problem is to meet someone who is local enough.

My theory is that you really want to meet someone who is shy as well. That way all the LS nonsense has time to wear off without upsetting your girl.

I don't thing lonely hearts are as glamorous - so attract a different type of girl GOOGLE it in your area!

FS

Author:  zx123 [ 29 Mar 2017, 19:34 ]
Post subject:  Re: How I do online dating

I'm still trying to get the online dating. Quite a few girls have liked my picture and one even put my profile on her list of favourites. I have even managed to get into conversation with one or two girls. One thing I cant understand is that when a girl has liked my picture, they close their accounts so I cant talk to them.

Author:  Fairly shy [ 29 Mar 2017, 22:47 ]
Post subject:  Re: How I do online dating

zx123 wrote:
I'm still trying to get the online dating. Quite a few girls have liked my picture and one even put my profile on her list of favourites. I have even managed to get into conversation with one or two girls. One thing I cant understand is that when a girl has liked my picture, they close their accounts so I cant talk to them.

I think it is a mistake to take all this too personally. Girls will join, and then meet a guy and basically drop out - at least for a while. The real answer is to message plenty of girls.

If you are willing to date less attractive girls, contact some of those who don't have a proper picture - they will get much fewer messages. If girls are liking your picture, you don't have to worry about your appearance.

Have you had a date of any sort out of these sites?

FS

Author:  zx123 [ 30 Mar 2017, 19:43 ]
Post subject:  Re: How I do online dating

Hi,
thanks for the advice.
I am becoming somewhat disillusioned with online dating, all the girls contact don't seem to reply. I have even thought maybe they can somehow tell that I lack experienced from my profile? I suppose I thought it was about dating, but that doesn't seem to be the case. Maybe I am taking it too personally.

In answer too your question, no I have never been on a date either from these sites or in the real world, my experience of dating is zero.

Author:  Fairly shy [ 31 Mar 2017, 19:04 ]
Post subject:  Re: How I do online dating

zx123 wrote:
Hi,
thanks for the advice.
I am becoming somewhat disillusioned with online dating, all the girls contact don't seem to reply. I have even thought maybe they can somehow tell that I lack experienced from my profile? I suppose I thought it was about dating, but that doesn't seem to be the case. Maybe I am taking it too personally.

In answer too your question, no I have never been on a date either from these sites or in the real world, my experience of dating is zero.

What I would say is don't give up, it was only by using a dating agency (pre-internet) that I broke my LS.

How many messages are you sending out, and what does your current profile look like? Are you using a free site or are you paying for the (non) service?

Are you getting some messages, and what sort of replies are you making? Remember - someone must be getting dates off the site, or it would close - so the thing is to be systematic about finding the problem.

FS

Author:  zx123 [ 31 Mar 2017, 19:17 ]
Post subject:  Re: How I do online dating

Hi,
well I do get some likes for my picture, which gives me some hope.
I am using Plenty of fish and okcupid at the moment but I am thinking of trying some of the pay sites.

This is the text of my profile:
Hi,
I am an easy going guy looking for a relationship or to date.
I like the simple things in life like quiet coffee shops and pubs where I
can relax with good company. I also like fantasy and gothic art, nature and
romantic walks by the sea. If that sounds anything like you, maybe we could
meet up and see if there is a spark between us. My ideal date would be to go
to a coffee shop and get to know the person.

I know it sounds pretty bland, but I'm not very good at writing dating profiles.

Author:  Fairly shy [ 01 Apr 2017, 17:53 ]
Post subject:  Re: How I do online dating

zx123 wrote:
Hi,
well I do get some likes for my picture, which gives me some hope.
I am using Plenty of fish and okcupid at the moment but I am thinking of trying some of the pay sites.

This is the text of my profile:
Hi,
I am an easy going guy looking for a relationship or to date.
I like the simple things in life like quiet coffee shops and pubs where I
can relax with good company. I also like fantasy and gothic art, nature and
romantic walks by the sea. If that sounds anything like you, maybe we could
meet up and see if there is a spark between us. My ideal date would be to go
to a coffee shop and get to know the person.

I know it sounds pretty bland, but I'm not very good at writing dating profiles.


Well the profile doesn't look too bad - though perhaps it could include your occupation (but maybe it does, but you didn't want to write it here).

How long have you been on, how many messages have you sent out, and have you had some replies (even if no dates).

My point is that people obviously use these sites to get dates, and even though you are LS, that needn't show until you meet for real - so you should get a reasonable response.

You do have to send out a lot of messages, and I think it helps if you keep a list of who got what message on your PC. What sort of response do you give when you get a like for your picture?

FS

Author:  catsfan [ 01 Apr 2017, 18:12 ]
Post subject:  Re: How I do online dating

zx123 wrote:
Hi,
well I do get some likes for my picture, which gives me some hope.
I am using Plenty of fish and okcupid at the moment but I am thinking of trying some of the pay sites.

This is the text of my profile:
Hi,
I am an easy going guy looking for a relationship or to date.
I like the simple things in life like quiet coffee shops and pubs where I
can relax with good company. I also like fantasy and gothic art, nature and
romantic walks by the sea. If that sounds anything like you, maybe we could
meet up and see if there is a spark between us. My ideal date would be to go
to a coffee shop and get to know the person.

I know it sounds pretty bland, but I'm not very good at writing dating profiles.



Can I suggest a small change? Rather than 'get to know the person', 'get to know you'. Also, if you enjoy the pub, drink dates are better than coffee dates in the beginning. Every first date could use a bit of Dutch courage.

Author:  Fairly shy [ 03 Apr 2017, 11:45 ]
Post subject:  Re: How I do online dating

Pictures are important, and this may be useful:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-39320580

FS

Author:  zx123 [ 03 Apr 2017, 21:35 ]
Post subject:  Re: How I do online dating

Hi,
thanks for the advice again.
To tell you the truth I am becoming a little bit jaded, I have tried a lot of different approaches, but nothing seems to work.
I think I look ok in my photograph, my profile is straightforward and uncomplicated. I don't really know what I'm suppose to do.
There are some really nice looking girls on there and some of them would be my perfect 'type' if we could meet up.
I think I might take a break from it for a while and work on other things.

How did you go about beating your love shyness?

Author:  Fairly shy [ 04 Apr 2017, 23:29 ]
Post subject:  Re: How I do online dating

zx123 wrote:

How did you go about beating your love shyness?


Well I had been going along to college discos, and not meeting anyone, and just leaving at some point. I still hadn't kissed a girl when I graduated!

After I became postgraduate, I had a little more time available, and I decided to blitz on trying 'dating agency' dating. I found that I could get dates, but I was extremely awkward, and I used to come away absolutely shattered each time. However I realised that this was doing me good - I was gradually getting used to spending some time with a girl, and appearing sort of roughly normal.

Probably the big thing that worked for me was that I met a really shy girl - so we were rather similar - and we bumbled along for ages before we really connected!

If you aren't getting any dates at all, you are either not putting any effort into it, or you live in a very isolated community, or something is wrong.

FS

Author:  Justin1982 [ 06 Apr 2017, 14:22 ]
Post subject:  Re: How I do online dating

Ok cupid and Plenty of Fish both failed me after giving both over 2 yrs and playing with myself on pornhub would have been far more productive in trying to find a date. My issue with ALL dating sites is they are wortless money pits where women just ignore me. Match.com and eHarmony I feel owe me for the few thousand dollars they got from me. I never got help even from "coaches", who were always too busy to see I was struggling.

Dating sites may work for some. They are a crtical reason I find myself here. Nothing like being alone even online.

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