you overrate genetics, shure some people put on muscle more easily, but everybody can loose weight, can get there body fat % down and can build a muscle even if its only a little

For those of you who are very small-boned and skinny as a twig fear not. Don't worry about genetics. Sure it does impose limitations whether physical appearance related or physical strength related - in my case I am cursed with toothpick forearms that will never grow.

A few years ago I was so skinny you could see my ribs - probaby weighed 125lbs and was pretty dam weak as well as being a "hardgainer" (hard to increase muscle/bodymass due to insane metabolism) - but I ran Mark Rippetoe's Starting strength for a couple of years while eating 3k worth of calories split over 6 meals a day. Got to 165lbs and it did my self-esteem a helluva lot of good - I wasn't even doing it to get female attention (none anyway) but to get strong. Also remember being small-boned can be advantageous. 2 guys who weigh 180lbs - one is 6'1 big boned, the other 5'7 small boned - who is gonna be stronger and more muscular?

More than getting strong, jacked or in shape it is an excellent way to structure your life and begin to develop self-control such that you truly have agency and means to improve without it feeling like mental masturbation of the self-help psychobabble variety. And getting bigger/stronger is MUCH easier than learning game.

As I said before I compete in powerlifting - did the nationals yesterday and might qualify for worlds. I'm not particularly good at it - nowhere near the best, still have a lot to learn (training by myself most of the time don't help either) but I can tell you that there ain't no better way to unleash the anger, rage, sadness and pain upon the barbell in front of a room of screaming people rooting for you to lock out that dam deadlift! Its intoxicating. It gives me a buzz and boost that counteracts my incel in a way no other activity does. Whenever I feel pish I remind myself that tomorrow is leg day and the pain experienced therein will offset any rejection quite nicely

Which is why I said my main reason for not working out isn't lacking genetics, but lacking proper diet and sleep.

If you don't have genetics, you damn well better have the best meal and sleep program in the world. I currently have neither.

I'm gonna start swimming in a few days... Wish me good luck, I'm terrified

For me it's generally a combination of all the answer, but "too embarrassed to go to the gym" is probably the best fit.
Right now do to a lack of space I only have a couple pairs of dumbbells to workout with. I don't even have a bench. I do pushups for a chest workout.
I would like to join a gym for access to more equipment and heavier weights. Also if you go to a gym, you have no other choice to workout because what other reason would you have to be there. Whereas at home you can get lazy and say, "I think I'll play Bioshock 2 instead of doing squats." However, my severe social anxiety is preventing this.
I know they may seem irrational but here are my fears:
The first, yup you guessed it, the shower and locker room. They idea of undressing and being surrounded by other guys in various stages of dress is very uncomfortable to me. I'm afraid I might catch some perv leering at me.
2. Not knowing what to do. Now I now how to do the exercises themselves but never having been in a gym before, how do you load the weights on the bar? How do you set up the squat rack? How do you use the cable machines, etc? How do I know if I'm violating gym etiquette? I don't want to be one of those, "I saw a guy doing curls in the squat rack" type of guys.
3. Being laughed or sneered at by the "meatheads." I'm afraid that some Jersey Shore types are going to look at me and think "what the hell does this skinny guy think he's doing here?" For this reason I'm thinking of joining Planet Fitness since they seem to have a no douchebag policy.
4. Making a fool of myself. If you want to know what I'm talking about, just browse around Youtube and you'll see videos of someone trying to do a squat and end up crashing to the floor with the weights falling on top of him or some other mishap.
5. Being bothered by the know-it-alls who feel it is their duty to tell you your form is bad or you should do exercise B instead of exercise A that your doing.
When I workout I like to be in my own little zone and not have anyone bothering me.
6. Looking like a weakling. I'm afraid that while doing a certain exercise, I may turn to my side and see a chick who's half my size doing the same exact exercies but lifing twice the weight.

Don't worry, fat floats.

Asshole.

Chubby chaser!

Lame-o insult ftw. You're 31, seriously?

Since October of last year, I have been going to the gym 6 to 7 days a week, and have I lost 20kg (45lbs). I am not jacked, but I look much better than I did 6 months ago. I used to weigh 95kg, now I am 75kg.

Yes, it can be hard to get motivated initially, but if you go the gym enough times, you will actually get addicted to the exercise.

My focus has mainly been cardio/HIIT training.

Actually this is a very good test. If you float easily, you are probably too fat. If you sink to the bottom and can sit on the bottom easily, you are fit. If you can sink to the bottom only after exhaling completely, then there is room for improvement.

I used to go to the gym loads when I was younger. I did F**K all to help. In fact the people at work then took the piss out of my chest and said I had tits which was in reality solid muscle from bench pressing. I realised then that my shyness made me a loser in their eyes and anything I did was worthless. However having a muscular fit body may help to impress strangers who don't know you're mental yet such as at a club.

That's what I'm trying to say. People who already know you probably won't look at you much differently. New people you meet however, are a fresh slate. After you get jacked, focus on meeting new people, and creating a new, positive identity for yourself.

Most people can float, it's just that your head will be slightly underwater. There is a technique for people who are stranded at sea to inhale, hold their breath, let themselves dip slightly underwater, wait until they need to exhale, and repeat.