It is my (recent) view that the more anger you experience over being love-shy, the more motivated you will be to deal with the situation. Don't distract yourself. don't repress your emotions. You must be aware of your anger (towards your self or others) and think about it. Don't let it go unnoticed. Don't give up. Keep fighting your way to success.

Let your anger out. It must be released. Though release, you will become freer. don't let fear overcome you. You must fight the fear.

It never helped me much

what I'm saying here is feeling your anger allows you to become aware of your problems, so you can try to help yourself. I'm also saying ignoring your emotions won't get you anywhere. You'll be stuck as the same love-shy man you always have been. I want to get over this. I know it won't even completely go away, but I want it to be somewhat mandible so I can gave a happier life.

Anger for me has never aided in alleviating my love-shyness. Serving only to frustrate me, anger breeds more anger and is released only when I pump iron or talk in depth on my condition. Also, since I dream quite a bit, anger gives rise to increasingly more violent thoughts of retaliation (against lesser men) with brutal results being replayed again and again to sustain the anger. Additionally, people are inclined to avoid angry people all the more, so anger certainly will not attract girls. I do know what you mean, though, when you say that anger (or any emotion in general) needs not to be internalized. I suggest a emotion conversion, that is, try to convert anger to a more pleasant emotion, or release your energy on something requiring more said energy and be productive.

I have become aware of my anger at being loveshy and incel lately, and it's only made me worse.

Fear is the mindkiller. (Dune, 1984)

I always thought I could cure my love-shyness by going postal. (just a joke).


But realistically sometimes I do relate to kids who do school shootings or people who just go on a killing spree.

I always wonder if you could talk to the people, "What was the collection of stuff that was done over the times that pissed you off".

You could ask Ted Bundy, but he is dead, like Sodini. Most humans get angry about lots of things, but going postal or killing innocent people is just WRONG.

Yeah I know. I just wonder sometimes that if certain people were treated differently, would they have still ended up being serial killers or going postal.

I know some though had pretty good childhoods though and still ended up killing people for no reason. And then other people had horrible childhoods and still managed to grow up and be nice people.

I just wonder if some of those people had love-shyness problems.

I saw that Ted Bundy faced a real hard rejection from a woman before, who basically called him like a child or something of that nature.

Yes, of course. But I can still understand.
I mean, I have a lot of anger over my situation, I'm here because of childhood abuse. It seems a pretty natural reaction to have a lot of resentment toward parents that did this, school counselors that ignored it, other kids that made it far, far worse than it had to be. Sometimes I still think 'they did this to me.' So I can empathize with Sodini and the others.

The world is a shitty enough place without someone like me adding more pain to it, so I'm not going down the same road. I can empathize with a heroin addict too, even if I'm not going to drug myself into oblivion.

Anger can be VERY helpful if you pick the right target instead of impotently raging at the world or at yourself. Just pick whatever's keeping you alone; if that is a fat gut, then get angry at that and work it off via exercise. If it's a shitty place you live in, the target should be whatever keeps you from moving. I've lost a lot of weight after using my anger like this, and improved my life in a bunch of other areas, but my biggest problem is raw social anxiety, and that I apparently can't even touch.

If I let my anger out some one gets hurt. Physically. So I don't wanna do that..

to a degree yes. Although letting it out is a very broad term. I'd say channeling it, or finding a way to release it without freaking out. Although "I'm angry because I can't get a date" isn't very useful. "I'm angry because I can't get a date, I can't get a date because I'm ____, I'm ____ because of ____," and so on, can be though.

Me neither

Anger is a form of fear.
Motivation is not the issue.
It's a matter of allowing the emotions to come fourth (yes)
and not judging them. This is the way you can actually go
through the fear - but help is needed at some level.
Anger is resistance - motivation is acceptance.
Awareness is the key.

Yes we (LS) are angry, bitter, saddened ect. but our
problem is low self esteem. Trying to be something
you're not - tough guy, for ex. is not expand self
esteem. Awareness does.
Use meditation, COG, whatever helps raise the level
of awareness. Fear or Love are the only real choices
we have.

being angry doesn't help - putting judgement upon yourself and the situation is useless - in fact can project towards someone
to whom you may be interested.

hang in there friend . . .