Hi,

Sorry, but I'm trying to find anything interesting about how to beat love shyness in this forum but I can't find anything relevant here...I'm desesperated

What do you think about the content of this forum ?

B. (from Belgium)

yeah, it's a bitch, but most of this forum is mainly people whining.

There are many theories on how to get over LS, this is how I did it:-
http://www.love-shy.com/lsbb/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=12490

The only way to beat it is gradual exposure. LS really isn't all that complicated a problem to solve.

Oh shut up.
I go out every weekend, I talk to a lot of girls.

Is my problem solved? NOT EVEN CLOSE.

Then you aren't being gradually exposed. You're just stopping at talking. Talking needs to lead into light touching, being in close proximity(like a chick sitting on your lap, or putting your arm around her, etc.) That leads to eventually making out, then going further from there. All of this needs to happen at a pace the LS person can handle. That's how exposure therapy works. If you're just going out and talking, you're not actually undergoing exposure therapy.

I can't force girls to sit on my lap if they don't want to.
I tried touching them, and at the end of the day it still feels uncomfortable to me, there is no progress, at all. I just can't.


If it was that easy, I can guaranty you I would not be on this site.

Are these girls who are attracted to you?

Well, obviously not.

Girls who are attracted to me give up because they think I don't give a shit about them.

It needs to happen with chicks who're attracted to you, that way they don't recoil from your touch, increasing your anxiety. You aren't going to feel comfortable touching them at first, but you have to keep at it until it becomes comfortable. It would help if you are in a situation where you're both drinking.