When I was at school, one or two girls would ask me out as a joke. Didn't do an awful lot for my confidence as you can guess. But when I was 18, I met my first serious oneitis (yes, I know). We hung out for a bit, but she always had a boyfriend and hinted that she thought I was cute. Eventually she split up with him and I thought I was in with a chance, but she ran off with someone else.

I felt utterly empty, but around that time I'd started a new job and got on well with one particular girl. We had a good laugh, and there was a bit of a flirtatious nature to her (which only happened when I was around, according to old workmates). After a while I asked her out (probably thinking that a rebound would be good for me). Instead, she said that she didn't want a boyfriend at that moment in time. Not only that, but she always gives me strange looks if I happen to walk past her.

That was in 2005 and I don't think I've recovered. That truly hurt. I felt like an utter loser, and I cried myself to sleep a couple of times after. I couldn't understand what was wrong with me and as a result, I didn't approach a girl until 2009 when the same thing happened.

I've known I have a problem since kindergarten.

I've basically had oneitis problems my whole life. It's a hard habit to break. It's like there are two people, a fantasy one, and the real one (who is usually a total bitch who doesn't think of you at all). Getting over one can be very hard and painful. But we don't deserve this crap. We deserve someone who respects us.

I thought you had a girlfriend now?

I have a girlfriend now. The 26 other years of my life didn't vanish...

I realized when I entered university, because in high school I never found any of my female classmates interesting enough to worry about approaching them or if they liked me at all. Bit in the university, with all those beautiful and interesting girls, I found out that I was incapable of approaching them for any social/romantic purpose. I just realized hat i didn't have any idea of how to start a conversation without making my advances too ridicule obvious and not looking like the desperate idiot I am.




Good to hear that you're in the right mindset about it.

I know at this point that she doesn't give a damn about me or my feelings. I have to find a way to stop thinking about her.

This is not the first oneitis I've had. Who am I kidding? She'll probably be replaced by yet another one.

I realized about 3 years ago or so, when I was 15 going on 16. I was searching up stuff on google and found the Love-Shyness book by Dr. Gilmartin. As you can imagine, I felt like he was writing about me. It really changed my perception of myself. I used to think I was "shy" as other people did. Now, I know the truth.

And, almost 2 years after that when I was 17, I was voted "shyest" male in the school. ( Females voted for males and vice-versa for different categories in the year book ) This was the ultimate confirmation. LS is experienced by 1.5% of males... meaning that out of say the 90 male students, most likely only 1 or maybe 2 would truly be LS. I bet I won that title by a land slide, too.. wish I could have seen the actual numbers.

My actual LS seemed to develop with puberty from age 12 onward, and I can state with confidence that it is very likely a worse than average case of it on top of that.

I realized there was in problem when I spent my entire high school time without having a girlfriend, and there was only one time in this whole period where a girl showed interest in me and I was 13 years old.

I think college is when I started to worry. I realized that I was unable to approach a girl I didn't know. I just could not imagine any reason in the world why a girl would want to spend time with me so I never asked. 15 years later, here I am.

It's also frustrating to know that some people I went to school with may now have teenage children that may have more sexual experience than me!

I need a smilie with a gun to his head.

I started to worry when I got out of high school.

I knew already when I was 17. While people partied and hanged up I was restricted on internet if I am to talk to female and in first years I have entertained myself that I might find someone that way. I am very thankful that my mind relased warning so early because I have fortified my mind already when it become naughty.

It seems so idiotic but it really hit me when I turned 40 and I started to google terms like
"never had a girlfriend", etc until I came upon Gilmartin's work and it was a eureka moment.

Previoulsy I just thought I wasn't attractive and in my case as well, I just could not imagine any reason in the world why a girl would want to spend time with me so I never asked (or asked so infrequently).
I filled the void with school and then work. I was never a recluse or anything and had, I want to say "lots" but let's say a good number of male friends.
I wasn't shy or socially awkward with guys, just with girls I found attractive. And I had no interest in girls I didn't find attractive so I basically ignored them.
My head was firmly buried in the sand and have only recently emerged.

I started to suspect when I was 17 that something wasn't right. I came across LS when I was 19 and was able to put a label on it. When I was 20 I was confronted with my LS when my father asked if I had ever kissed a girl before. I said no and he replied, "You should get on that."

I knew I had problems in my mid teens when everyone else had 'girlfriends' (kids don't really love someone), and I'd never had one. I knew I had problems when I was 19 and a guy asked me if I'd ever kissed a girl and I lied and said 'yes'. I definitely know I have serious problems now, a few weeks shy of 29, having passed through undergrad and postgrad uni, and been in the workforce, and never kissed a girl I am pretty hopeless now.