Hey guys, I dont post on this site but decided to make my first post. I dont really know but I am kind of confused as to where I stand in the dating game. First of all, let me introduce myself, I am 19 years old and graduated high school a year and a half ago, and now I am in the early years of college. I have friends and am a generally social guy. I make all the girls in my class laugh and I dont have much trouble talking to girls. Thing is, all my life my luck with girls has been the same and its extremely depressing. Ever since high school I have asked out lots of girls, who were in the 6-7 looks range (some cute and some just plain average)

However, I have never had success with this and am rejected 100 percent of the time by the women I personally ask out (usually crushes)

I am not a "nice guy" by any means, just a polite yet funny chill dude. I noticed that the women that do notice me are generally the very unattractive women, those that are very obese or unattractive themselves (look like men or have facial deformities etc) Not necessarily freakshows, but girls with crooked teeth/weird jaws/bad grooming/obese etc. This is really frustrating because I am not willing to settle for this.....

I dont think I am a very good looking guy at all, yet I am very tall (6 foot 3) with a great body and and great grooming/clothing, possibly a 2/10 on the looks scale. Not ugly like you would look twice on the street or anything but just not that attractive. I am just wondering if I qualify as an "incel" because I have tried my heart out to get a 5/10 or even 6/10 but these types of girls always give me excuses along the lines of "sorry, im busy" or "i have a boyfriend" or some rejection along these lines.

Basically I am making this thread to see if I qualify as an incel since I cant get a girlfriend no matter how hard I try even though if I really wanted one I could most likely get one at the very bottom of the barrel (obese and ugly)

I would kill for a girlfriend who isnt obese, and just a plain looking white girl but these women seem to be the hardest to get in my experience. I have tried for years upon years since 7th grade to get a normal cute white girl but I cant do this if my life depended on it. Am I incel? And do you guys have any advice for me? I think since 7th grade I must have asked out close to 300 girls from house parties, mutual friends, or even classmates. Obviously some of these girls were cute and some were average, but I have never gotten one.

sounds like it

Yea I figured. Lots of my friends have no trouble getting girls, and often times I am funnier and have better social skills than them. I just thought that I "might" not be incel since I choose to not settle for the bottom of the barrel. I am pretty sure that most guys can at least get one or two of their crushes throughout their lives, every single crush I have asked out has rejected me. Most women who I develop crushes on are plain jane white girls with normal skinny bodies. Just the average 6/10 girl. The only women that like me are those I have no attraction towards. Guess I am incel.

You sound incel to me. Welcome to the club! It's a lot more common than you might think, just that many guys won't admit to being incel in public. Here you will find a community of guys who have the same problem as you. I know what you mean. The people I tend to crush on are usually just average, normal girls, but I still get rejected by them. The only ones that have shown interest towards me, I feel nothing for.

Yea you sound similar to me. In all honesty sometimes I feel guilty myself that I will not settle for the girls I have no feelings for, but at the same time, how is a man supposed to settle for a hispanic woman with a man jaw and flaming acne, also overweight and bad grooming/cleanliness. I mean ideally, I am forced to settle for this, but I just cannot bring myself to do it. I just want a normal girl and I dont know what women have come to these days. Why is that "most" men are incel? I never thought this way, ideally women are attracted to men and men are attracted to men. Wouldnt this mean that only a select few unlucky guys would be incel? Not the majority of the friggin male population?

Well, the number of incels is technically 'low'. Like 10% or something. Maybe less. But that's still thousands of people worldwide. I haven't done the maths on it. But we are in a minority. Lots of men have big dry spells, and go without for many years. But the guys who get absolutely nothing whatsoever are a minority.

So I guess for me it has to do with looks, huh? I mean I am a social normal guy and average girls who arent fat reject me 99% of the time. I still dont know if this qualifies me as a pure incel or not, or maybe Im just in denial. Either way, I think that it is terrible how God made us part of that 10% minority. I mean ideally, there is a 90% chance we would not be incel and yet we were unlucky enough to fall into that category. I would kill for a pretty girlfriend but I have pretty much accepted that I will never get that, so thats ok, that wasnt too depressing to accept. It was when I lowered my standards to plain jane white girls and still got rejected, that was when my depression hit and my suspicions began to arise that I am most likely incel.

holy shit it's advanced come back to life again

If you could get really ugly girls, then some would say you aren't technically incel. But that is kind of like arguing that you could go gay and get a man and then you wouldn't be celebate... no thanks! If there is no sexual attraction, and no romantic interest, then nothing would be gained by pursuing anything with that person. In fact, if they were sufficiently undesirable, the opposite would be true and the experience could be quite traumatic.

So my argument is that if you can't get someone that you at least have a minimum level of sexual attraction or romantic interest for, then you are as incel as they come.

Exactly. Sometimes I have been so desperate and I have settled for one ugly girl, and honestly it was the worst experience of my life. I dont blame her obviously, but being in a relationship with a partner that you are not attracted to is worse than being single. I cant get women who turns me on, and I am not asking for much, just a 5/10 not fat average girl. I think more guys are incel then, I thought incel meant you cant get "anything". Yea, I cant get romantically interested in a woman if she is very ugly or obese, it just isnt gonna happen. I have tried asking out many 5/10 girls and they all have rejected me. I can only get the very bottom of the barrel girls (ethnic ugly women, obese women, women with manly faces etc.)

I am not asking for a lot. Just someone I am attracted to and have feelings for. Doesn't have to be a model or anything. That's unrealistic. Even normal women have a highly inflated opinion of themselves, though. Because they get compliments and hit on every day of their lives. So I get rejected even by your common, average girl because I'm not good enough for her.

Yea man, there are many 5/10 or even 6/10 caucasian women that I would love to just have a relationship with. I am not even remotely attracted to model looking girls I see walking down the street, because they are so out of my league I cant even have feelings towards them, I am more attracted to average girls that arent ugly or fat. I cant get one of these for the life of me, however. The only girls I can get are like I said, the bottom of the barrel masculine looking girls, or obese women.

Indeed. I see what you mean. I want to have some standards. I don't want an absolute bottom of the barrel obese hag. Just a normal girl.

The funny (but at the same time sad) thing is that getting a girlfriend requires almost no social skills. I mean unless you are totally autistic having "amazing confidence" or "social skills" is not even necessary. You just cant have a feminine personality or be a pussy, thats it. Like I said, I have lots of experience talking to girls and many girls think Im funny. One time when I was chatting with a girl at my local train station I made her cry with laughter and she would always tell me how funny I was. However it went no where and she still rejected my sexual advances.

Another example is my friend that moved from the East Coast to my town recently and joined one of my local classes. I dont mean to hate on him because he is my buddy, but I must say he is intensely shy and mundane around women, but what do you know, I check his facebook profile and there were two girls asking him if he wanted to have lunch that week with their group. I am way more social than this guy and he is not even that good looking, I mean he is definitely maybe a 6/10 on the male looks scale, but still he gets asked out when he just arrives to the school, and I am incel having been in the same school/community for many years.

I just dont get it man, thousands of men around the world are getting girls no problem, but we are stuck here in the same cycle of loneliness for absolutely no reason. If I were terribly shy or anti social I could understand my problems and assess them, but I have tried virtually everything and it never works in getting girls attention. Girls will talk to me all the time, but it never goes beyond chit chat and jokes.

When it comes to asking girls out on dates even if the girl has been extremely nice to me, laughs at my jokes, is excited to see me, I get rejected almost every time.

Well, I do have mild high functioning autism (Aspergers Syndrome) but I do see your point. In theory, it should not be that hard to find a girl. But it's so much work. Trying to impress her, say funny things, etc. There are times when I don't think it is even worth all the bother.