LS.com homepage  •   LS.com FAQ  •   Resources
In the media  •   Articles  •   WIKI
It is currently 23 May 2013, 19:01

All times are UTC [ DST ]


Forum rules


This is the one of the guest-viewable discussion areas. If you haven't already, sign up as a user (everything is, and always will be, completely free)! Users can engage in discussion in both guest-viewable and member-only subforums. There's also an arcade.

Please post in good faith. We support freedom of speech here but deliberately inflammatory posts will be deleted. Use common sense when writing posts and be sure to read the guidelines (and weep) before posting.



Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 35 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3  Next

Men, how would you react if approached romantically by a woman? Women, would you approach?
Men's section I would be overjoyed and respond positively. My problems just might be over! 18%  18%  [ 12 ]
I would be somewhat rattled by this, but respond positively anyway. Cautiously optimistic 41%  41%  [ 28 ]
I would be dumbstruck or so nervous that I could not respond. 13%  13%  [ 9 ]
I would be turned off by this. Women ought not to be so forward. 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
I would assume something must be wrong with her if she's doing the approaching, and turn her down. 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
I would suspect a prank or a setup, and turn her down. 6%  6%  [ 4 ]
I would blow her off or ignore her, out of indifference or spite towards women in general. 3%  3%  [ 2 ]
I would respond positively for some other reason (describe) 4%  4%  [ 3 ]
I would respond negatively for some other reason (describe)__________________________________ 4%  4%  [ 3 ]
Women's section I would approach someone I was interested in without reservation. 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
I would approach, but only after waiting for/encouraging him to approach himself. 3%  3%  [ 2 ]
I would not approach directly, but give him lots of encouragement until he did. 4%  4%  [ 3 ]
I would not approach. I get approached too often to make the extra effort worthwhile. 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
I would not approach. It is not the woman's position to do so. 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
I would not approach. If he can't or won't approach of his own volition, he's not worth bothering with. 1%  1%  [ 1 ]
Some other response (describe) 1%  1%  [ 1 ]
Total votes : 68
Author Message
PostPosted: 27 Jan 2012, 05:49 
Offline
Super Contributor
User avatar

Joined: 15 Jul 2010, 05:51
Posts: 1113
Location: Does it matter?
Thanks: 23
Thanked:
357 times in 218 posts
It happened once, and I found myself looking for excuses not to reciprocate. I'm a nervous person in unfamiliar and difficult situations. I think a lot of guys who are successful must have a less developed pre frontal cortex. Nothing holds them back; they do impulsive stuff and don't look back.

I'm never completely at peace unless I am alone. An empty world is paradise to me.

_________________
.


Top
 Profile  
Thanks  
PostPosted: 01 Feb 2012, 03:31 
Offline
Super Contributor

Joined: 29 Jun 2010, 01:45
Posts: 1263
Thanks: 22
Thanked:
154 times in 118 posts
Based on past instances where women made something resembling an advance... they were pretty awkward situations, and I had known them for a time beforehand so it's not like they were strangers. The closest reaction I have is indifference, but it's more that I already know nothing is going to happen so I best not get involved and spare everyone the agony. Not only that, but I wouldn't exactly know what to say or do to fulfill her wishes. My guess is that it's impossible anyway and that they're mistaken about what I am, and naturally whenever I did act on perceived interest in the past the womens' interest quickly evaporated.

I'm not pretty and don't have anything going for me, and I am well aware of this. I'd be immediately suspicious if someone I didn't know suddenly came on to me. In principle I'm not opposed to women approaching me, but for obvious reasons that won't happen when better men are eager to work them, and more women set themselves up to be used by said men, and finally even if they did approach me, I would have nothing to offer nor have I felt any desire for anyone in quite some time beyond a base craving that I would do best to abandon. Honestly I would prefer to be the proposer, simply because women are bad at it for the most part, and not good judges of character; but since I'm also terrible at courting and judging women, that puts me in a bind. Plus I loathe the idea of having to force everything along myself, and hate submissive women severely.


Top
 Profile  
Thanks  
PostPosted: 13 Apr 2012, 17:45 
Offline
Elite Contributor

Joined: 28 Aug 2011, 17:55
Posts: 2359
Thanks: 979
Thanked:
219 times in 163 posts
Quote:
I would be turned off by this. Women ought not to be so forward. 0% 0% [ 0 ]
I would assume something must be wrong with her if she's doing the approaching, and turn her down. 0% 0% [ 0 ]
I would blow her off or ignore her, out of indifference or spite towards women in general.

Why aren't these getting picked. Its they really think.


Top
 Profile  
Thanks  
PostPosted: 13 Apr 2012, 18:08 
Offline
Poster

Joined: 17 Apr 2010, 22:02
Posts: 189
Thanks: 24
Thanked:
15 times in 13 posts
I would be so nervous that I could not respond.


Top
 Profile  
Thanks  
PostPosted: 13 Apr 2012, 18:40 
Offline
Contributor
User avatar

Joined: 05 Nov 2011, 22:29
Posts: 832
Thanks: 89
Thanked:
125 times in 86 posts
I'm usually fine when she makes the first move, my problem is getting over the starting line, when she initiates it takes a lot of pressure off me, and I can function fairly normally, I'm still nervous but its more controllable, for me going up to a woman I find attractive is like being on a very demented let's make a deal hosted by Monty Halls' psychotic brother, one door might have a clown with a flamethrower, another door could have a honey badger that will tear your nuts off and the third has a freight train speeding at you, all while the audience is laughing at you because you're wearing nothing but a pink tutu, that is the best way to describe what it feels like to me.

_________________
不幸は孤独です。。:゚(。ノω\。)゚・。
ImageImage


Top
 Profile  
Thanks  
PostPosted: 13 Apr 2012, 21:25 
Offline
Extensive Contributor
User avatar

Joined: 20 Aug 2009, 18:03
Posts: 1668
Location: UK
Thanks: 70
Thanked:
238 times in 200 posts
ukshygirl wrote:
I selected the option of ..

"I would not approach directly, but give him lots of encouragement until he did."

I can think of two occasions where I did *directly* approach and was rejected both times. This taught me the life lesson that if it needs to get as far as me approaching them, then they're most likely not interested at all so therefore the above option is best. If I have to do most of the running with a guy then they aren't interested so I'll never approach again at all.

I notice from the results so far, many guys seem more comfortable with doing the initiation themselves.
Is this true generally? Maybe more guys could offer thoughts on this one.


I thought this was a new thread, at first.
My views haven't changed and I'd still be interested to read more thoughts on the results in terms of guys seeming to prefer to initiate themselves?


Top
 Profile  
Thanks  
PostPosted: 13 Apr 2012, 21:31 
Offline
Elite Contributor

Joined: 09 Jan 2011, 18:01
Posts: 2413
Location: Belgium
Thanks: 285
Thanked:
317 times in 252 posts
ukshygirl wrote:
ukshygirl wrote:
I selected the option of ..

"I would not approach directly, but give him lots of encouragement until he did."

I can think of two occasions where I did *directly* approach and was rejected both times. This taught me the life lesson that if it needs to get as far as me approaching them, then they're most likely not interested at all so therefore the above option is best. If I have to do most of the running with a guy then they aren't interested so I'll never approach again at all.

I notice from the results so far, many guys seem more comfortable with doing the initiation themselves.
Is this true generally? Maybe more guys could offer thoughts on this one.


I thought this was a new thread, at first.
My views haven't changed and I'd still be interested to read more thoughts on the results in terms of guys seeming to prefer to initiate themselves?


The best would be really where things seem to happen naturally and where both parties take part of the initiative. As for me i don't really approaching, if i really like someone i might do it (and have done so in the past) but she has to respond favorable.

_________________
Only a man is able to determine what is best for him. Women and society in general never have his best interests in mind, and he is under no obligation to live his life according to what they want.


Top
 Profile  
Thanks  
The following users would like to thank Mitchell for the above post:
Small Pink Blob
PostPosted: 13 Apr 2012, 21:37 
Offline
Super Contributor
User avatar

Joined: 13 Sep 2010, 00:54
Posts: 1314
Thanks: 163
Thanked:
104 times in 82 posts
I voted "Men's section I would be overjoyed and respond positively. My problems just might be over!" That's assuming I was attracted to the person. And I'd probably still respond clumsily and without confidence. I still have to learn how physical intimacy works.

I still say women should approach more. Yes I've done it myself and yes I've been rejected lots of times.


Top
 Profile  
Thanks  
PostPosted: 14 Apr 2012, 03:04 
Offline
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: 05 Oct 2007, 02:09
Posts: 3225
Location: The Rust Belt
Thanks: 52
Thanked:
133 times in 98 posts
Odalis wrote:
Quote:
I would be turned off by this. Women ought not to be so forward. 0% 0% [ 0 ]
I would assume something must be wrong with her if she's doing the approaching, and turn her down. 0% 0% [ 0 ]
I would blow her off or ignore her, out of indifference or spite towards women in general.
Why aren't these getting picked. Its they really think.
Apparently it's not what we really think, at least not members of this forum.

_________________
If I can do it, anyone can.


Top
 Profile  
Thanks  
PostPosted: 14 Apr 2012, 07:09 
Offline
Super Contributor

Joined: 02 Dec 2011, 01:27
Posts: 1412
Thanks: 153
Thanked:
120 times in 96 posts
I was approached by two girls, but not for being asked out! in both cases me and the girl made lots of eye contact from across the class and I think it was pretty obvious that I was interested in her, but I never brought myself to overtly approach the girls. finally after a few classes of looking at each other the first girl came over and asked if I wanted to group up with her, I was totally blown away with the girl I thought was really hot asking me personally to couple up with her so I just said": "waat" really slowly and the girl said: "oh so you don't want to" and I freak out and in front everyone in class I hysterically said: "NO NO I do I do ". :facepalm: I felt pretty embarrassed but also happy that she approached me, but ultimately even though we went on a date my insecurities overtook me and I stopped seeing her after the class ended. I kept thinking she was just being nice to me, since a rejection before her had pretty much destroyed my self confidence. in retrospect I think she was genuinely into me and I just lost my chance, a lesson for me not to psych myself out.


Top
 Profile  
Thanks  
PostPosted: 14 Apr 2012, 07:14 
Offline
Site Admin
User avatar

Joined: 01 Dec 2009, 20:46
Posts: 1584
225 times in 154 posts
If past returns are indicative of future results, then “I would be dumbstruck or so nervous that I could not respond.” Mostly the dumbstruck part though, as I’m usually able to at least mouth something stupid.

_________________
Front page admin of Love-shy. Sexually attracted to Daria of the late 90's cartoon. Wants to decide who lives and who dies.” – Unknown


Top
 Profile  
Thanks  
PostPosted: 15 Apr 2012, 19:03 
Offline
Super Contributor
User avatar

Joined: 29 Oct 2010, 23:34
Posts: 1155
Location: Europe
Thanks: 187
Thanked:
212 times in 141 posts
I am not sure about what "approach" entails, is it approaching someone you don't know much? or all kind of situations where you ask someone out or just come clear regarding your intentions?

If it's the second one, well I've approached around 10 times or so, between high school and uni, and it wasn't successful at all. So right now, I don't know. I tried to be more "physical" with a guy I liked last year, but I'm very clumsy and I don't have this inner feeling of sexuality that most people have. Just touching his hair required a lot of efforts, and I felt like stupid. It didn't have the desired effect anyway. I didn't tell him clearly though, and after being rejected by the guys I really was in love with, now I'm more on the cautious side. I would try to have things to develop naturally, even though they never do.


Top
 Profile  
Thanks  
PostPosted: 15 Apr 2012, 20:21 
Offline
Super Contributor
User avatar

Joined: 13 Sep 2010, 00:54
Posts: 1314
Thanks: 163
Thanked:
104 times in 82 posts
What does it even mean for things "to develop naturally?" That is a serious question.

There've been a handful of times I _wanted_ to push the boundaries physically, but my severe anxiety (almost like another person) kept me at bay. If I wasn't anxious and went for it, would that have been natural?

There've been fewer times I did get physical, but it wasn't sexual at all. More supportive. I don't think that counts, even though it did feel "natural" and right.

There've also been times I kinda forced myself, if only to get over my anxieties. Argh. This is so hard.


Top
 Profile  
Thanks  
PostPosted: 22 Apr 2012, 08:22 
Offline
Poster
User avatar

Joined: 15 Feb 2012, 15:25
Posts: 36
Location: England
Thanks: 1
Thanked:
Some of the male options actually apply to what I think.

"I would suspect a prank or a setup, and turn her down."

^Quite a few times this has happened, (sometimes by the spite of my friends) which also makes me cynical to approach a guy aswell as if a guy approaches me, I think it's a joke

"I would be dumbstruck or so nervous that I could not respond."

^ This relates to the one above aswell. If they were serious, then I would be stunned that they were actually interested in me, I'd go stiff, quiet and probably make a encuse and scarper! Like why me?


I am attempting to fight my inner shyness to approach a guy right now, but as he's shy too. It's a battle, and difficult to know whether he's interested back.


Top
 Profile  
Thanks  
PostPosted: 22 Apr 2012, 08:59 
Offline
Elite Contributor
User avatar

Joined: 13 Oct 2011, 15:56
Posts: 4723
Thanks: 312
Thanked:
602 times in 450 posts
I think It's safe to say that I'm far beyond "damaged" at this point; and the damage is far beyond "repair" (if such a thing even exists). Even if a girl did manage to show interest in me, I'd feign disinterest. Hell... 99.98% of the girls on these dating sites fail to interest me now. I can go through hundreds of dating profiles in a matter of half an hour and still not find a single one that would pull at my heart strings.

_________________
Image


Top
 Profile  
Thanks  
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 35 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3  Next

All times are UTC [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group