Her name is Natalie. im in oneitis with her. Next semester she will transfer to a new school. and i know i will never see her again. she is beautiful, yer i am not attracted to her because of her of her beauty. i am atracted to her how sweet she is. granted im not so close. ive ever never seen someone so kind to anyone they didnt know so closely. my attraction overcame and consumed me. she is so nice she looks me in the the eyes, even when i dont look back, even when i dont look back. she smiles when talk to her.to talk to her. i havent event gone to school in a week because evey time i see her (insert words for a feeling i cant describe here). i hope ill cut myself again ad again to remind myself of her, but wont, eventually ill forget her. that pains me so much. she will just like Kathleen. but Kathleen dose not bother me anymore. i was not supposed to be this this way.

reality is a nice place to visit, but i would not want to live there.

That's my oneitises name, too Sorry about your situation, brother.

Female beauty often overwhelms me. When I see very beautiful woman it's still hard for me to maintain an eye contact with her.

"I’ve been watching you
Not waiting for the right moment to make the first move
Do you want to know
Why I keep avoiding your eyes
And why I’m running away?"

Lol... Thanks harebrained. The coding provided by the mobile version of YouTube on my Samsung Vibrant made it impossible to quickview. I swear, I fucking hate this phone sometimes.

if you feel that stronly about her, ask her out (or at least try too)

This!

Allegedly one of my friends already tried, she not looking for a boyfriend right now. If this is true (not wanting a relationship) i will get rejected straight up, that will hurt to much. i ran out of sanity a few days ago. Im kinda like a temporary psycho right now. (this has happened before and it wears of really fast).

anyway im in a really bad place right now, i need to quit drinking alcohol and get my license (driving).

im at least going to talk to her on Tuesday.

This forum is great. i kinda feel better being able to dump my mind here and have people understand. THANK YOU!

That's the oldest excuse in the book. So yeah, leave her for later and give yourself a better life.


Yeah it is.

Nice, your situation sounds like mine with Emily when I attended a university. Beautiful college girl and highly intelligent...beautiful. She had the quirk of speaking so fast the professor asked her to repeat or slow down...so beautiful (Emily not the professor). From time to time in class, I would catch eye contact with her. I would avert my eyes quickly; this would happen several times a class period. One day, about a month into class, she made her approach. Damn it, I had an exam the very next class period, so I had to cut it short. I was too shy to follow up. Now that I think about it, recalling the "regret" thread posted here a few days back, if my staying to talk with her and exchange contacts would have resulted in my being late to my Quantum Physics II exam, that would have been worth it; perhaps this is something I regret. Anyway, nothing more happend for the rest of the semester beyond the same eye contacts she gave me during class.

Now, over a year later, I have this wonderful Word document filled with only her best pictures; it is 30 pages long at current. Yesterday I mentioned pics; they were her pics. I spent over an hour listening to music and looking at four to five of them. I am looking at them again today; I think the sunlight brings out some of her beauty. I've actually wondered what might happen should I keep this up and, thirty years down the road, I send her the document chronicling her life and her happiness. It might scare the shit out of her. What is interesting is that in all her pictures, I have never seen her with a boyfriend...

I know how you feel, man.

For some reason, it becomes impossible to ask the big one when she's right there in front of you. I was playing pool with a georgious looking woman. For some reason there is an impregnable wall between the part of my brain that wants to ask her out and my larynx. I just cannot ask them out. I don't know why. It could be that if I got a direct rejection my fragile ego which incidentaly is made from several pounds of weapons grade uranium would go into fission.
I have absolutely no knowledge or expertise in how to control myself under rejection conditions. I'm pretty sure my brain would shut down and then I would be revealed as Ivan the Terrible incarnate.

I'm trying to quit, too, although it's more like quitting while I'm ahead. Some of the habits I get while I'm drinking, even though it's only on-off and not nearly as much as I used to, make me worry that it could develop into a real bad habit someday.

If you ever need someone to bitch to, I know the feeling (perhaps).

Look man, women make up lies like that to avoid women they don't like. The exact same thing happened between a friend and I between a foreign exchange student from Argentina.She was going to spend one semester in high school then go back. I told him that he could ask her out first, and the next day he tells me that she told him that she already had a boyfriend from her original country. I had assumed that she lied to him (because she just seemed like the type of girl who was nice and didn't want to hurt feelings.)

Anyways, to get to the point, I had found her by her locker, alone after school and I had the opportunity to talk to her, put my arms around her waist (without her permission) and jokingly proposed sex after a short (~30 seconds) conversation and surprisingly got what I wanted.

The only reason I did it was because I originally thought the girl was really into me and wanted to prove to my friend that I could've done anything to her and gotten away with it. So be careful, but remember she won't be around for long so if she rejects you, you won't be embarrassed for long.

I feel Natalie is one of those nice girls who would not want to hurt someone (but rejection hurts regardless). Im still to fucked up right now to be with her. i know i can change this though. if im lucky (very lucky) i will get to see her again. but i doubt she thinks much of me anyway. probably dose not even know my name.

I will go to schools early every day to talk to her (she sits with a group of people i hang out with from time to time). at best i can use her as a learning experience. I will also fix myself. This hurts to acknowledge but i WILL make myself stronger with this experience. It wont help me with her, but it may help me someday.

I feel as if im week and trying to be strong. Its ridiculous. I need to fix my reality, i need to spend more time in reality. escapism is fucking me up mentally.