I know most men lose their virginity in high school, but that wasn't possible for me because I was kind of a dork, had bad acne, and was socially ackward. 8 years later and my skin has improved greatly, I'm physically fit, and I feel more confident. But I am still extremely ackward with women and in most social situations. I have a very slow-to-warm personality, it takes me a long time to get comfortable around strangers. Approaching strangers, espeically women, causes a physiological fight or flight response in me. My heart races, my muscles become tense, etc, it's extremely uncomfortable. This is why I avoid talking to strangers. It's not that I don't want to talk to them and meet new people, it's just that it is so physically uncomfortable for me. This has nothing to do with my thinking, because I am mostly an optimistic/positive thinking person. I'm also a fairly good looking guy too. It's just the physical reaction I have is so strong that it pushes me from meeting new people and it FUCKING SUCKS!

Can anyone here relate to this? I'm curious to know if any of you guys have been able to cure this horrible condition. I feel like I won't be able to enjoy life to the fullest unless I correct this. I'm not sure if this is social anxiety, phobia, or something, or if my nervous system is wacked out? What do you guys think?

34 here. I live in the United States, so you're not alone.

I think that the only reasonable way to get over this is to face it. You have to face your fears and do things that make you uncomfortable. You can take baby steps or you can go all the way. You have to be ready to fail and accept failure.

As a first step, make eye contact with and smile at attractive women. Do it over and over. You'll eventually get comfortable with it.

Being rejected or failing isn't my biggest fear, it's my fear of public embarassment. I just think that everyone is watching me and will laugh if i screw up or if they can tell I'm ackward. I don't know why but I am very self-conscious and I'm trying to get over it. But yea your advice sounds reasonable, start small then work your way up. What do you guys say when see an attractive woman and you want to talk to her?

I would've been an American virgin male at 26....except I had sex with a prostitute at 25.

I have contemplated doing that before but I can't. I want to lose it the "right way", though if you choose to pay for it then I guess I don't see anything wrong with that because I think prostitution should be legalized and regulated.

Other than the prostitute, have you had any other experiences with women?

the thing you have to understand is that people don't really care all that much about what other people are doing. lets say worst case scenario you try to ask a girl out and not only does she say no, she also makes a big fuss about it. I guarantee you the people around you will only look at your direction for a second then go back to what ever they were doing and and forget about what ever happened within a few second.
people are concerned with their own life, they are out to find your problems.

even people you have to regularly deal with quickly forget awkward situations, in fact what you think was an awkward situation might not register as an awkward situation for most.

Not in America, but 29 year old virgin here. You're by no means alone

Not in America. Virgin at 39. Fucked a prostitute. Only one snag. I didn't manage to get the woody so it was pretty shite. Thought about trying other prostitutes, but the stress of having to perform within a set time is just way too high, and I really haven't got enough dough to do the thing properly. My idea of properly would mean hiring her for a dinner date, then hiring her again for the whole night. But the enourmous amount of cash that you have to hand over is a massive sexual turn off. What I want is for the girl to actualy like me, rather than my wallet.

I hate to break it to you, but hypergamous women are always looking for a man with lots of cash and assets.

Most women in the western world are hypergamous to one extent or another, as are foreign brides who want to
move up and out of poverty.

No matter how you slice it, you always pay for women in one manner or another. Love is fast becoming obsolete.

Yeah, I've had experiences with strippers and massage parlors

I think to an extent my own mother was a bit hypergamous. She once said to me that Dad pays all the bills and without him she couldn't live in such a nice house. She praised Dad because he went out and earned the bacon and wasn't an alcoholic. Dad knew her sentiment and didn't bat an eyelid. Said it was what he expected.

That's rather depressing.
I think there are certain types of females who aren't hypergamous. I know women who are into the punk scene and artsy type stuff tend to be less materialistic, at least from what I hear. I wouldn't mind dating a punk rocker chick, as long as she's not a druggy.

Welcome to LS.com. You are not alone at all. You suffer from love-shyness. You may well be
shy and aviodant around people in general too, and you are probably introverted, as well.

Please read our posts, research loveshyness articles here and and you may also wish to
read Dr. Brian Gilmartins book on your condition. Its out of print, but its still available
in some places.

Your username precedes you.

Women generally are hypergamous, but according to my studies in evolutionary biology there will always be many variations within a gene pool, and you can't discount cultural/environmental influences either (i.e. the girl raised by non-materialistic hippie parents or something). So no, not all women are hypergamous.

Anyways, I think hypergamy can be easily manipulated by men, where they can portray themselves as high status and wealthy upon meeting a woman and building a connection with her, and then only later she'll find out they're not high status or wealthy. I think this manipulation can be done in a subtle manner (through clothing, body language, positive attitude and outlook on life, etc) where that man doesn't really have to lie or anything to achieve the appearance of being a wealthy individual. I always look at it this way...women will put on make up, wear stuffed bras, dye their hair, get breast implants, and do a whole host of things to manipulate their image so men will find them more attractive. So if men wish to do the same to attract women, I say go for it!

I'm currently reading some books on body language, so I can learn how to give off powerful high status vibes through certain body jestures, stature, and the way i walk, etc.