A mild attempt at humor which also is hinting at a problem greater and more prevalent than many chose to tell.


Getting breast implants is changing their image, not manipulating it, IMHO, but nonetheless...

Yes, the way a man carries himself is of the upmost importance. Semblances and facades are the order of the day. If you do not have confidence, exude it. If you lack a good body, perhaps you should get a body suit to wear underneath your clothes to accentuate your form (one girl, as posters here may recall, claimed I was wearing one...). If you do not make upwards of $70,000 (do women adjust for inflation?) a year, wear nice clothes everyday to give the simulatory appearance that you do. There was a thread a while back asking if women could accept you for who you are. With this in mind, the answer to this question is a glaring "no".

Additionally, if I am to tackle a problem as this with likewise strategy (superficiality, play-acting, etc.), then may I be forever excluded from the DSR arena! Even if I were to "snag" a girl by way of this, suppose another guy comes swaggering along with more "game" and "semblance" (true or not, irrelevant) than I? She, in her superficiality, would leave me if she places contingent value on such shallow and reproducible things as an end-of-the-month paycheck and such.

And when a guy changes his fashion to appear more wealthy or cool, then he is also changing his image, espeically if he makes the change permanent. What is the difference? There really isn't any.


Before you can become confident you have to practice being confident, right? No man is born a confident go getter, he has to develop the ability, and that requires practice. If a child imitates his father's behavior, is that child putting on a facade or acting fake? Although there may be some genetic predispositions to certain behaviors, I think the vast majority of human behavior is learned and is a byproduct of the interactions one has with family, friends, and society in general. If behavior can be learned, then it can also be unlearned and changed. I firmly believe that.

If a person consciously decides to change their behaviors, attitudes, fashion or lifestyle, then that does NOT necessarily mean they're putting on a facade or acting fake. If that person truly wants to change and feels totally comfortable with the new changes, then they're being true to themselves.


...Or get a gym membership and start an exercise program. As a side-effect it'll lower blood pressure and lessen the risk for cardiovascular disease. It's a win-win situation. Also, beauty is entirely subjective anyways. One should not have the attitude that they "lack a good body", because different people are attracted to different bodies. The only exception might be where a person completely lets themselves go and doesn't take good care of themselves, health wise, dental wise, etc.


I think it depends mostly on how men present themselves. You can be totally broke, but if you come across as charming, funny, and a nice guy, you'll definitely attract some women. I think it comes down to working on developing those traits and using them to your advantage. In the near future I'll look for an improv group in my local area to join so I can work on spontaneity and humor. As of right now, I feel as though my personality is kind of boring and neutral. I want to be funnier and more entertaining, and more charming as well. I don't think developing new personality traits is putting on a "facade", I just consider it part of my maturing process, or self-realization process. I have an ideal image of myself that I want to achieve, and I'll put my best effort toward achieving it.



All first encounters are superficial, let's be honest, even for men! We're only looking on the outside, the physical aspect which attracts us to the other person. Time and experience together creates bonds between people, and those bonds aren't just simply broken if some hot shot comes swaggering up and starts flirting with your girlfriend.

We are arguing on semantics here: the difference between "manipulate" and "change", a useless quarrel solved by dictionaries.


No, there are plenty who are born with this trait. Not sure if you are referring to something I am not. Do you think those class clowns in middle school (who just reached puberty) had to have practice gaining confidence, or, similiarly, the boys who were the head of the football team who swanked around the school confident in bullying as much as in "wooing" (we know what this is these days) had to have years of confidence building? Some people are born with this and it is fed by a positive enviroment; many others have to practice it.


True, more or less.


What I am getting at is that you may perhaps be losing who you are in the process. For example, you put on airs and dress up, workout, etc. to get a girl. Now, after you get one and marry her, will you continue doing the aforementioned habits? No? Then you were putting on a facade just to get a girl. Many men I have spoken with dropped certain aspects of "playacting" after they got married. If so, then you probably were not, or at least developed a habit.


Nothing I know of in real life that is worthwhile comes without its potential risks/benefits. I'm getting specific here, but going to the gym does entail risks such as permenant strains (I know of strains all too well, being a constant weightlifter/powerlifter), and such. This is true, but you missed the point of my example in that men are being forced to do things they wouldn't normally do/like to obtain a girl's attention, regardless of for better or worse.



I wasn't talking about first encounters. I was talking about DSR and obtaining a girl through perhaps artificial or semblematic means. Yes, "bonds" can be broken by the "hot shot" if the "bonds" were formed on superficiality and the "hot shot" has more attractive "superficiality".

Over 40 virgin here.

Here's what makes me laugh my ass off. If the OP (in THIS thread) is 26, still a virgin and a wannabe PUA, it makes me wonder... why is he waiting till "next week" to go full fledged PUA? He's obviously behind 8+ years.

Well for one, I only recently started learning about this PUA stuff a few months back, and two, I am trying to get over my social anxiety. My schedule doesn't allow me to do much over the weekends, but during the week days I have extra free time, so I plan on using some of that time to meet women. And I'm not going to be a full fledged PUA right off the bat, and honestly I have no desire to sleep around with tons of women. I just want to develop better social skills so I will have an easier time finding women to date and hopefully finding one to start a relationship with. Some of the PUA info is actually really good, and helped give me a more optimistic view toward attracting women. I don't agree with all the PUA stuff that's out there, but I have read about some techniques that I think would fit with my personality, so I will try them out. Of course I can't guarantee that my anxiety won't get the best of me, but I am aiming to approach at least 5 random women next week, one each day. It's a small goal to start out and I think I can achieve it.

If you have a speech problem, you're in for a world of hurt. And I'm talking attempting to jump off a ski-lift and compound fracturing both legs but on a psychological level. You're gonna be so fucked up, you're gonna lose all feeling.

I do have slight lisp and sometimes I freeze up when I've run out of things to say, but it's nothing serious. Speech problems can be corrected. In my case, I think just getting more social practice will help me tremendously. But if other guys have more severe speech problems, then they should probably seek a speech therapist to help them out with that.

Being a 26 year old virgin isn't that wierd.

I just no longer care about my "virginity" as much, in my mid 30's. I've had one long makeout session in my life, now I'm more concerned about relationships and love than what tab B and slot A go into... because I realized the mechanical aspects of sex (specificly vaginal sex) have little bearing on the enjoyment of intimacy or how fulfilled I will feel in life. Just keep in mind, by some peoples standards (vaginal intercourse), a typical gay male is a "virgin", yet few would consider them inexperienced sexually. I short, the obsession over virginity is harmful to your psychological wellbeing and your relationships.

I remember having horrible social anxiety in my 20's. Mostly its gone away but I got diagnosed with Asperger's so now there's just an awareness that I'm not very typical in how I'd interact with people, and am less interested in typical social interactions in general. Sometimes focusing too much on the self-improvement aspects will make social anxiety worse. Just try to be yourself, get in touch with what you like, have self-respect and so on. Feeling you are broken or lacking isn't a good place to be, women and significant others aren't worth it.

I'm 26 and still a virgin. It's not really a big deal to me. If it happens it happens. If it doesn't well...Perhaps I'll get into MMORPGs to keep me busy.

I lost my V-card at 28. It was a big deal at the time, but frankly most women are not all that good in the sack.

Now I am going MGTOW. Probably wont have sex this year, since I am not looking for it at all, not even with a call-girl.

Its survival time now and I work better alone at that skill. Women are a very serious liability in times like these.

I don't need some feminized slutty bitch dragging me down, when the American Police State is going to collapse on itself, soon, I hope.

If your primary goal is to defeat social anxiety and develop social skills, I can't recommend jumping right into cold approaches with women. Keep in mind that even among skilled PUAs, the success rate is dismal, maybe around 10-15% on a good day. Plus, many women, especially the beautiful ones, can be callous, cold, bitchy, and will shoot you down without leaving you with even a shred of dignity. If your anxiety is even a little shaky, be prepared.

Another thing is, while PUA might be great for picking up girls, it's shit for fixing social anxiety. It teaches a very particular set of skills, applicable to only a very particular set of human society. Used right, it will help you get laid. It will not help you make friends or feel fulfilled socially.

If I were you (and I was in a similar life situation very recently), I would focus on talking to strangers at every available opportunity, not limiting yourself to just women, and especially not just women you want to screw. The key is to get better at communicating, reduce your social anxiety, put yourself in situations where you're able to make friends (joining a group, taking classes, volunteering, all of them are amazing for this), and then, very sparingly, use certain PUA techniques to nudge a girl you like into liking you back.

It's a very roundabout way of doing things, and if all you want is sex it's not really worth it, but I was looking for more from life and it sounds like you are too. Take that as you will.

Nah man you're not the only one. I'm about to turn 26 in a few months and the well is still dry for me, and things don't seem like they are going to change anytime soon either. Not much I can say I guess with regards to how to make the situation better, but I will say this: if prostitution were legal in the U.S, then most of us wouldn't probably be having this kind of problem. I dream of the day when prostitution becomes legal all over the U.S and not just in ten counties in Nevada.

But yea, try to go out to more places I guess, drink, play outside, whatever you think will make you feel better.

41 and a virgin here and in the USA. AND I lived in San Francisco for over a decade, AND I am educated, well-traveled and cultured.

Artys girls and punk girls ARE more materialistic that you may ever want to think. When it comes to "hooking up" they tend to go with the crustiest turd but when it comes to a relationship....many of these women are more "Republican" than most Republicans.

The lead singer to "alternative" group Belly comes to mind. In the nineties, all soooooooo hip and "alternative" and outspoken, after the music career subsided...she marries a doctor and lives in one of the most "exclusive" neighborhoods in the Massachusettes commonwealth......is a stay home mom, and suddenly "can't" remember her past....

I guess that proves evolutionary theory correct. Regardless of what women say, they will always try to end up with a wealthy or high status man.

Do you guys think it would be ok to lie to a woman about your wealth/status, just to get her to sleep with you?