Thank you for the reply.

I wish it was as easy as asking him directly how he is doing. Sadly it's not. The last time we spoke which was 18 months ago, he told me he was stressed with his isoation. Since then, he has gone down hill really bad. He doesn't answer the phone. He hardly leaves the house. His phone has been cut off before. When I did meet the neighbour, that same day, he called the police because he hadn't seen my friend for over a month. The neighbour got concerned for my friend's health.

As for contacting my friend's mum, I wrote to her to make her aware of my friend's situation. She's not involved in her son's life. I was hoping to bring it to her attention because she has a better chance of helping him. That didn't happen because she made it clear to me that it's not her business but her son's.

Anyway a few weeks ago, I emailed the neighbour how my friend is. He mentioned his dad had been staying with my friend. That's a bad sign. The same week, it was my friend's birthday. I wrote a letter to his dad and explained everything to him. I left in my friend's letterbox as well as his card and gift. I wrote on a note to my friend to pass it on to his dad. That was two weeks ago and I haven't heard from my friend's dad.

I just want someone to take notice of my friend's pain. Especially his parents. They see him.

Oh wow, the dad is living with the son? That is probably not good at all:(

How is your living conditions? Do you live alone? Perhaps you could develop in your own environment a pleasant, happy environment that would sound attractive to him if he were invited to come too. He might not be able to do that for a very long time but many times we feel TRAPPED in our circumstances. He may have two traps..internal and external. If you were to be able to offer a way out of the external trap, perhaps it would help him to begin to contemplate getting over the internal.

I know for me, that when I am hurting deeply, I withdraw severely. My isolation BOTHERS me, but I am in charge of it ultimately. He is as well. Unless his mental illness is severe and nothing you have said would make me think that he is mentally ILL, then I think I would just start bringing positive to his 'table' even if it is under a door and not bring anyone else with me.

No. His dad doesn't live with him. His dad has been coming over to spend time with him. My friend has a mental illness but his on medication. I'm quite sure his dad is not with him. His dad has a daughter in another country. So he spends his time between two countrys. I know he will go back to square one when his on hiw own.

I just spoke to my mum about the letter to his dad. My mum felt what's done is done. It was worth a shot. I never know unless I try. I wont go to his parents anymore.

I admire your strength and determination. This is one lucky guy to have you. I wish you all the best.

Thank you for all your help. Helps a lot to know that I'm not alone. Good luck to you too.

Yes. I'm applying for a law enforcement agency. I was using my work affiliated nickname and wanted to stay anonymous. I'm just trying not to shoot myself in the foot.

I'll take this time to watch the video you provided. Thank you.

In bold, what did you mean by this?

But hey a stalker is exactly what he needs.
Every person with a social phobia longs for a person who can set them free.
This is your task and this is your mission.

Whas it easy for Frodo in "The lord of the rings" ?

No - and in real life there are people like Sauron (dad )
and Gollum (Friends calling you stalker, who are envious of the love he gets from you and try to destroy - are going to let them? )

Fantasy novels are often metaphores for what actually happen in real life, they only have " little twist to them" Evil does exist in our world, not as a person evil through and through, but peoples fear and envy causes them to act evil.

That should not bother you.

Regarding bold. This was just their purpose, they wanted to shoot you down. Where they females? Women can build and women can brutally crush. It's a choice we have. Some chooses the dark side.

I think that's a really good choice

Btw Sorry for spelling your name like a idiot, i don't know what my fingers are up to sometimes.

Lol, I'm not a stalker that's just the thing. I'm not!

These people who said those comments weren't even friends. They know little about me. To be honest, I shouldn't listen to them.

Do I sound like a stalker to you?

Of course not, I just meant that he need someone who is persistent in their engagement and attention.

I Should not have been kidding about it in that way. I just wanted to turn things round in your head. A stalkers attention is unwanted and yours are not

This fear of you being a stalker is about your own fear of being rejected and unwanted. We all suffer from it to a certain extent

I like to turn things around. I wanted you to embrace ACTING like a stalker
People with social phobia often has like an invisible wall in front of them. Sensitive people feel that, it's as if the person with SPH are holding up a sign that sais - Don't approach, but the person who is behind the wall think's he is holding up a sign - pleas HELP - come closer

I know exactly what you are feeling because you get no feedback, you get no encouragement, no sign to keep on going. And to be persistant in that position is scary. You have to trust your own instincts
What I ment was you to get yourself as insensitive for remarks, and close your mind to selfdoubt - just as an stalker is. Or a pursuer for that matter.
maybe pursuer is a much better word (sorry for bad english)

Let me ask you a left turn right turn question?
Stalker is for left, and pursuer for the right.

Does he ask you to stop?

There you go then

That's all you have to ask your self when you are in selfdoubt.

Love to you and your friend =)

(did I explain better? )

This is a response to the part when you asked, Did he ask you to stop?
To be honest, I really don't know! I'll let you decide for yourself.

The last time me and friend spoke, he was pushing me away. At this point, he was grieveing because his friends had turned their back on him. The conversation we had was bad. At the time he was going through a period of stress because of his isolation. The only people he felt that cared about him were his parents. His tone was iritable, there was anxiety. He wouldn't even listen to me on the phone. I mentioned I had been phoning him. He said, if he could answer the phone and call me back he would. Because of his isolation he couldn't. He felt me making contact was to hard for him. He seemed desperate to get out of his isolation and asked me how would i feel if we were to become more then friends? I said no. Then he said something like now that we are talking, your going to go and leave me. He was quite nasty. Desperate to push me away. I realized I couldn't help him. So I backed off. Then started to write a letter once a month.

Every time he gets like this, this is a sign of a relapse. A couple of months later, his dad came down to see him. My friend even pushed his dad away. His dad said, my friend is lazy who won't do anything to help himself. This is what the neighbour told me when I came down to visit my friend nine months ago. The neightbour met my friend's dad and felt he was a sharp man.

This is the second relapse he has had and pushed me away before the relapse takes place.

Me and my friend used to have a good friendship. For at least eight months. Ever since he moved into a flat on his own and become isolated. The friendship has gone downhill. He has lost all his friends and the only people left in his life are not emotionally there for him. He suffers with low self esteem and doesn't feel like anyone loves/cares about him.

Surely if he didn't want me to make contact, his mum would have warned me or said something for me to leave him alone. She kept trying to get him to talk to me on the phone but he wouldn't. He was blushing, laughing and giggling. His mum said, he was too shy to talk to me. I haven't had the police at my door and my friend knows my address.

In my eyes, i am trying to be a loyal friend who is trying to say, i'm not one of those people whose going to turn their backs on my friend. Who sees a beautiful, wonderful and caring person in my friend. Me making contact is saying to my friend, that you are cared for and worth a lot as a person.

I read up about isolation. They say, the longer a person stays isolated, the harder it is to reach them. My friend is severely isolated and the effects it has done to him, it's like it's changed his personality.

About six months ago, I visited his flat. I rang his phone and when i hung up, i heard him giggle. It was like he checked his phone and realized it was me who has rung him and giggled. He doesn't respond to anyone phoning him and he doesn't have anyone to visit him. Right now i am a stranger to him because our friendship has slowly faded. There is no social contact with anyone hardly in his life. That's why i thought about visiting/befriending him from standing outside his front door. This way he can get used to me and we can build up a friendship this way.

My friend is love-shy. I think if i was a male, he would respond but because i am female, he wont.

What do you think? Do I sound lika s stalker to you?

No you're still not a stalker, but I read he asked you;

and asked me how would I feel if we were to become more then friends?

I Think he is in love with you, and it hurts him that you're not interested in "that way". Male friends very often wants to be moore than friends if you're not plain ugly.

His mum urging him to talk to you was not okey.
I don't know what is best for him. At first I thought about the saying
love me most when I deserve it least that's when I need it most

We push people away when we cant receive, but him being in love with you complicates it.

Ask him, Do you want me stop coming? ( don't ask the question on the countrary)

I passes the question on to the boys on the forum.

Lol his not in love with me.

I was the one in love with him. I told him that and he pushed me away even more. I refused that question when he asked me because he needs a friend not a girlfriend. That's what i have been trying to be.

But why do you think he asked?