Hello folks. I suppose I'll do a bit of an introduction before I proceed on here. My name is Mirror. I happen to be in love with a love shy man. Actually, we are engaged, and very happy.

However, he was a love-shy man. His idea of flirting with women is telling them his name and talking about the weather. If a lady ever were to become more than an acquaintance, he usually ends up in the "friend zone". Even to this day, he has, what he calls "lack of mack". He's a very INTENSE sort of guy, with INTENSE eyes, and he has a tendency to STARE. He had been told by others of his bad habit of staring, but he forgets sometimes.

Let me share our story.

First and foremost, I have to tell you about myself. I am a witch, from a long line of witches. My grandmother, my mother, and all of my aunts are intuits, and there is a psychic cord that runs within the women of our family so that in dreaming we can send messages to one another. One night, my mother dreamed a man with dark hair was chasing my aunt in the subway with a knife. The next morning she phoned my aunt, and it turned out that that very night, a man broke into her bed room and was going to stab her in her sleep.

So when ever one of us is in pain, we all feel it.

When I was 14 years old, I fell asleep in my mother's bedroom and had a dream. A young man was calling my name.

I remembered specific details:

1) He had INTENSE eyes of a light color, so much so that his eyes were somewhat unnerving
2) He was slightly overweight
3) He was very pale, with freckles on his neck
4) He had a tendency to blush a lot
5) He was VERY shy when it came to women

I would often have dreams of him for years after, and it became an obsession. I refused to date as a teen, because I believed he was real somewhere, and I didn't want anyone but him. I waited years and years, and made it to the age of 24 as a virgin, waiting for him.

Finally, it dawned on me. If he was shy, he wouldn't find me. I'D have to find HIM. So I became more proactive; instead of waiting for men to approach, I'D do it through online websites and things. I searched and within 3 months, I came across a picture of a young man with frightening eyes. It was him. I could just recognize him.

Now, he did things on our first contact that were uncomfortable. Things that would normally chase girls off, or make them put him in the "friend zone". He was VERY nervous upon speaking with me, and this nervousness made him come off as "weird". But because of my psychic intuition, I gave him more of a chance than I would any other guy, and ignored the impulse to reject him. And I'm glad I did, or I would never get to be with my soul mate.

On the other side of the coin, my man was abused by evil women. Women who would string him along, make him do favors for them, give him false hope, but put him in the "friend zone". Or ignorant women, who might take his shy energy and nervous energy to mean he was "creepy" and immediately reject him (as even my impulse was to do). THESE WOMEN WERE TOXIC. He had told me time and again that he believed he would be alone forever, and had given up any hopes of finding love.

He was going to close his dating accounts because of them. If he did that, I would never have found him.

My point of this story is that you never know what destiny has in store for you. You may be feeling like nothing will ever happen, or have decided to stop hoping, but please don't. Please, please don't. You give up now, you could be giving up in the 11th hour. If my man gave up, we would both be alone. DON'T GIVE UP

What can I say, that's pretty far-fetched... not the witchcraft part, mind you, but the part where you waited and searched until the age of 24 for a man you didn't know, despite the fact that he was shy, overweight and arguably "creepy". You can't expect me to believe that.

Easy jokes aside, how old are you now, if I may ask? Or, how long have you been with him? What do you find likeable about him?

LOL I know it's far-fetched, but I'm a weird sort of person. Yes, I waited until I was 24, and I am now 28. I have had other boyfriends, but refused to have sex with them because I was waiting for my soul mate. They didn't like that much at first, as you might imagine, but I found other ways to keep them satisfied while preserving that which I considered sacred. I guess you could say things were very one-sided, sexually speaking , in my past relationships. I bargained with them that they didn't have to do anything for me to get me off, and I would be willing to go down on them any time they asked, and in return I get to keep my virginity.They stopped complaining soon after. When ever they were horny, they could get immediate relief, and not be expected to have to bother with me and they get to go right to sleep.

You'll be surprised how many men are willing enough to take a deal like that.

Despite being a virgin, I suppose that was whorish of me, because I saw keeping them pleased as a job. It was work; maintenance. Not pleasurable for me, of course. But it bought me time, time long enough to see if they turned out to be "him". Of course they weren't though. I guess I knew that all along. But since "he" was no where in sight, what else was there to do?

I find EVERYTHING likeable about my soul mate! His love shyness hid soooooooooo much richness that girls would've never guessed was actually there. Once his shyness wore off, his true self came out, and I got to see this amazing person hiding under that shell!

Actually, I've told him time and again. I thank my lucky stars he was love shy. If any of those other girls ever knew what he was REALLY like underneath, they'd have grabbed him right away!

I'm sure there are many of you out there that are the same. Under the shyness, PURE AMAZINGNESS is hidden!

It’s kinda funny, because I had a premonition last night that things would be getting a lot more interesting around here. Welcome, Halliwell sister.

LOL I had to Google that reference, because I had no idea what you were talking about! I've never seen that show! I don't have TV, but you know, a lot of real witches don't like that show because they say it misrepresents Wicca. But then again, I'm not a Wiccan, so I couldn't care less.

Anyone ever see that show? Is it any good?

I had a Wiccan foretell my future not long ago. Less than a year ago, before I dropped out of contact from everyone in my past, I met a girl (though a friend) who turned out to be Wiccan. After spending a long day at an internet pub, we went to someone's house and knocked back a few beers. I forget how it all came about, but she wound up giving me a tarrot reading. Anyway... These were the cards that were overturned:

The first card (how I felt about myself) that showed was "The HERMIT"; a life of seclusion.

The second card (what I wanted most) that showed was "DEATH"; the want/need for absolute change.

The third card (what I feared the most) was "the TOWER"; that my world was falling apart at the seams.

The forth card (what was going on for me) was "the MOON"; be persistent and all will work out in the end.

The fifth card (what was working against me) was "the FOOL"; Being too naive.

The sixth card (the outcome), "the WORLD"; success.


I still have yet to see signs of the 6th one. But I have feeling in the pit of my stomach that the "success" talked about here is related to my future profession rather than my future regarding D/S/R.

Yes, I'd be surprised, but not for the reasons you might be thinking of. It just disappoints me how many relationships nowadays are sustained on such business-like exchanges instead of actual love. But I won't get into a rant about this, plus it sounds like you feel similarly anyway.

Anyway, I find this much easier to believe, that you were only "waiting" in one specific sense.


A lot of things. When people and society put such strong expectations on us, we may rationalize it as if we have no other choice; the truth, however, is that there were always other possible choices that didn't involve compromising your dignity or purity to any extent. Not all men are alike, not all relationships have to abide by the "standard" rules.


Could you be more specific? Sorry to be so curious.

Must have been an amateur, she didn't even use minor arcana.

That is the coolest thing, Mirror. I'm very glad you found him. I like the whole dreaming thing you talk about. Fascinating.

One thing I will say, is that guys like us often feel like they are living in the '11th hour' in perpetuity. ;x

I don't know how to use the quote thing. So I'll copy and paste!
Small Pink Blob said:

A lot of things. When people and society put such strong expectations on us, we may rationalize it as if we have no other choice; the truth, however, is that there were always other possible choices that didn't involve compromising your dignity or purity to any extent. Not all men are alike, not all relationships have to abide by the "standard" rules.


You're absolutely right. I'm sure that I could have believed in the dreams more, but I'm sure you understand what it's like. I FELT the dreams were real, but where was the proof that I wasn't just crazy? I doubted. And I rationalized, if I didn't pleasure my boyfriends, I could be self sabatoging any chances of ever being with ANYONE. Think about it: I was betting all my chips on a dream I had as a hormonal teen, and that my grandma said I had "the gift".

I thought, what if he wasn't real after all? Do I want to be alone waiting for someone who might not even be real? Would YOU stay with a woman who refused to have ANY sexual relations with you because of some crazy hoodoo superstition?

What do I like about my soul mate? Hmmm...specifics....

He's smart. Smarter than me sometimes, and I'll admit it. I like knowing I can ask him for advice, and that it won't be bullshit. He plays hard games that I can't understand ( D&D for one. That stuff is MATH.), and as stupid as this sounds, I'm totally impressed that he knows how to do that stuff, and ACTUALLY DOES IT FOR FUN! He knows lots of stuff. I like that.


He's SENSITIVE...(love shy men tend to be, I guess). More so than other men.

He likes to talk a lot. I like to talk a lot too. Some days we spend hours lying in bed, just talking about whatever pops into our heads. He debates a lot of stuff, too. It drives me nuts, but I love it. When he proposed to me, we were in the middle of a LENGTHY debate. I am ( as you can tell) a believer in the supernatural, in God, magick, in destiny and eternity. He's more of a skeptic, who minored in philosophy. Just as I was about to break a chair over his head during the debate ( he's stubborn as shit when it comes to debates and arguing), he randomly dropped down on one knee and brought out a ring LOL. I guess he won that one.

I like that he has meat on his bones. Boney men hurt when they hug.

He tolerates my crazy weirdness, and I LIKE THAT A LOT.

He likes ice cream and pina coladas and Cinnamon Life Cereal and always smells like summertime.

Specific enough?

Webley:

Can you remember when you were little? I can. When I was a kid, my mother would buy me gum or candy sometimes at the grocery store. She'd let me pick out the one I wanted. Then she'd take it from me so she could pay for it. I couldn't have been more than 3 or so, and every time she'd take it from me I would think that meant she was actually taking it away from me. I'd sometimes cry. I was too little to understand that she needed to ring it up and pay for it before I could eat it. Those two minutes or so that it took for her to pay seemed like forever.

I remember when I was a teenager. I wanted so badly to move to New York and become an actress. I felt like I was suffocating in my home town. High school seemed like it took forever. But one day, it was all over, and I was pounding the pavement in New York, trying to get a job so I could pay rent. Auditioning. Working in a restaurant. It seemed like I'd NEVER get a gig. Then all at once I booked 2 shows, and had to quit my server job, and was paying my bills as a real professional actress.

Now I'm back in FL, burnt out from working with 3 different theatre companies, fighting off the temptation to get my union card, and wanting to quit theatre because there is TOO MUCH BULLSHIT. How I look back at the days when I was dreaming of running away to NY, back when I was in high school.

How I wish I was 3 again, my biggest problem being that I had to wait for mommy to pay for my gum.

Whenever your waiting for something good to happen, it ALWAYS takes forever. Then once it happens, we look back and realize the horrible waiting wasn't THAT horrible after all.

how old is the LS guy you are engaged to?

Seven years older than me.

That's what I was going for. Short answer, YES, there are men who don't care much about sex. There are also men who do care but think of it as sacred and reserved for a special person, they want to make it count. Mindless hedonism isn't everyone's thing, a lot of people don't want to buy into it. They get "corrupted" by the media's promises or by the sweet lies of the hedonists themselves.

Honestly yeah, I would also have considered it silly to base your decisions on your "gift" since it wasn't necessarily guaranteed to work anyway. But the conclusion wasn't wrong, and the good thing is that you might have reached it through rational introspection as well. The way I see it, your dream told you that this was your soulmate - and you yourself said you didn't want anyone but him, and that your many empty relationships didn't satisfy you. The dream also told you that you'd have to overcome his appearances to find the beauty inside - which is also rational, since we all know appearances can be deceitful. But you had to learn these lessons through experience because you didn't trust yourself...

Yer smart.

Very cool, btw, that you wouldn't leave a girl because of her crazy ideals. That is NOT COMMON. HOWEVER...

I will say, though, that horniness is not mindless hedonism. When you have a girlfriend, it's natural to want to touch her, but touching raises OTHER feelings that aren't wrong. Could you imagine cuddling cuddling cuddling, all the softer, nicer parts of her body pressed against your body, but ohhh no, you're not allowed to touch back, because she's WAITING for some dream prince and wants to make sure you're him first.

So it's all mmmm snuggles, and oohhh kisses, and the occasional accidental brush of her breast against your arm, and dammit you got another boner but can't do anything about it, even though she's all soft and warm next to you.

Imagine having to do this for an entire year!

This, my friends, is blue balls. And that is not a good thing. It's one thing to not have sex when you're single (incel is the term?). It's another to not have sex when you're NOT single. That's even harder, I think.

Easy to say you wouldn't have a problem with it without actually BEING in that situation. All looksies, no feelsies...not fun for any guy!

Sex SHOULD be important!! Unless he is a closet gay (which I once dated). Then he should be working on finding sex with men instead LOL.

Bottom line is, I felt bad for them.