Sorry I didn't come on here sooner to check the replies. No, it wasn't the jailbait girl fro the martial arts club, that all went to hell and I got pretty miserable after that. But funnily enough, another girl (21 years of age) joined in November (about 5 months after I last saw the young girl), it was basically a miracle I think, because just as she joined, I had finished 5 months of pure hardcore training, this would involve using up all my holiday leave from work to book days off, so that I could go to the gym in the morning and train, come home, eat a salad, go to sleep for a couple of hours, then go back to the gym at night, and after I while I just found hapiness within myself seeing the improvement in my body and what my physical capabilities are (I'm quite fit now). This training went on for quite some time to the point where I didn't really care about anything else, in fact, I had a beard just like Stallone did in Rocky IV, when this girl joined and I realised I started to like her, I thought I better shave haha.
The thing is, I'm much more confident with myself now because I'm physically more capable, she used to be an athlete and I think she appreciates that I'm so into it which is a large part of why she likes me I assume, like when she sees me walking accross the room on my hands, she tries to imitate it. Prior to meeting her, I could have EASILY pulled some slut at a night club because I never felt shy around people like that, I just felt shy around girls that I really like, but this girl is perfect for me and she has made it really easy. I always thought, if I have a girlfriend, I wanted them to be exactly what I hoped for, and she is really, because all the things I've done with her so far, are what I've always dreamed of. E.g. last Saturday night we went to the cinema then I took her to this isolated place in a city which has a fountain and its all blue lighten up etc, and I asked her if she trusts me and told her to close her eyes, then I pretended to push her in the water but I grabbed her and then kissed her, drunken trash you meet in nightclubs don't do things like that, they just want cock, not love!
To the guy that gives me 3 weeks, I'll put a bet on that if you like, she REALLY likes me, I just can't see it happening. Before we realised we were an item, she was always buying me presents and things and I suppose not until a while did I realise what for. We always message each other, I've never told her I love her, but she has said "I miss you, I can't stop thinking about you, I think I'm in love", with words like that, I think it'll last more than 3 weeks. Plus, I still live in my parents house, she came over for food and met my mother (my mother is quite a nice woman), next time she came around she bought my mother flowers, I guess this would be to get my mother's approval or something. Seriously, if I thought she was the type of girl who would dump me in three weeks I woudln't have bothered, bear in mind, we were friends for about 2 months first, and we would sit in my car chatting from 10 p.m. until 5 a.m. (no exaggeration, I'm being serious).
To that angry guy who posted, sorry, but I did title the thread "success story", and no, I didn't "get laid", I said that we haven't had sex and I don't intend to either, I've explained this to her and she's ok with it, she thinks its weird that I'm a guy and that I don't want it, but she's ok with it.
Ok, time for any advice I can use to try and help. I don't know if I'm "cured" from love-shyness, because I be honest, I was bricking myself when I asked her if she considers me her boyfriend, she knows that I'm really shy like that, so she made it easy and asked if I wanted to text her the question even though we were in the same room and she was cuddled up to me. Anyway, maybe the advice I give could help with your overall getting "closer" to girls.
Definitely join some sort of club, sports club or any activity which has girls in it, but it must definitely something that you enjoy, don't join "art" club or some shit if you don't like it just because you think you'll meet a girl there (P.S., please note, I'm saying you will meet a girl if you join a club of some sort, mine was just pure luck, but at least you'll get more female interaction). Ok, what I would say, when you are in these type of places, start talking and chatting to girls that you DON'T fancy, just to get used to how they react and things to your sense of humour and the way you behave etc, if they give negative signals, don't behave that "way" again, if they act positively, you know what you've done is considered as "good" by a girl. Bear in mind, this is with girls that you DON'T fancy, you should have the balls to do this because its just like chatting to a guy, who gives a shit if they don't like you after it. When you can do this, try make friends with one/some of them, and try to make physical contact of SOME sort. For example, if they say they've been having a bad day, just pat them on the shoulder and tell them "it'll be ok" or some bollocks like that, at least you're getting into a stage where you can touch a girl without shitting yourself. This I would say was what was happening to me, but without me even realising it. You need this primary skill in order to EVER get anywhere with a girl you do like.
Ok, moving on...... if you do find you girl you like, this THE MOST IMPORTANT THING I CAN POSSIBLY TELL YOU. DO NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH THEM INSTANTLY, I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. I once read on this forum somewhere about a codition called "limerance" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence
), after reading it, I realised, it was EXACTLY what I suffered from. If I liked a girl, I would put her on such a high position in my mind, that no other girl would matter and only this one girl would matter, I would become obsessed, this is a TERRIBLE mistake to make as I've found out so many times (and had my heart deystroyed because of it). You may think the entire earth of them, and at the SLIGHTEST positive sign of feedback you will think they love you (this is what limerance is). I will explain a situation where this happened to me, basically the young girl that I Really started to like over a year ago, I used to tickle her, and she used to laugh and tickle me back, I thought this was because she enjoyed tickling me, but she is just like that anyway, but my mind automatically assumed it was some sort of return to my love for her, DO NOT fall into this trap, please listen to what I say, this will totally **** you up. If you like a girl, don't let your heart start thinking about her all day and night long, because what will happen is, you'll fall in love with a girl who you aren't with, and thats what makes it nerve racking, talking to someone you're in love with. Just don't even think about them in that way, I know its difficult to do that, I'll try and explain what I was thinking. Basically, when I realised I liked this girl, I thought "ok, she's pretty" but then in my head I would think "damn, I'm a handsome guy, I could do way better than her". I know this sounds like i'm being cocky or bigheaded, but I purposely put this into my mind, that I am out of her league, so basically I woudln't give a SHIT if she liked me or not because I could do better anyway, this is how I managed to talk to her without getting so nervous. Oh yeah, one other thing that I just remembered NOW while typing this, anyone seen the film "Something About Mary"?, there's a part where the guy finds out the girl likes golfers and architects, so he goes to play golf where she is and makes out to be an architect. There is a reason he did this, because it WORKS as long as u don't take the piss out of it. The girl I have gotten together with is from Eastern Europe, so English is not her first language, and she has no family here. When I found out where she was from, I learnt a couple of phrases from the internet, and after training one day I said "so, where are you from originally" etc etc, then she told me and then I made out that I had a friend who taught me a few phrases of that language and repeated them to her, pretending like I Had to recall them from my memory from some time back. Its not like I completely took the piss and lied to her about something that really matters, but this DEFINITELY made her take a shine to me, and since then, I've told her that I did this, and she just laughed and actually found it impressive that I did this. Like I said, DON'T fall in love with someone, and learn everything about them, and "happen" to be into the same stuff that they're into and know all about it, like in the movie, but you can do SOMETHING like what I've done.
As I've mentioned before, I've fallen in love with people before, and when I've found out the truth, I've literally been heart broken, even though I do appreciate every moment I spend with my girlfriend, for me it is a learning experience more than anything, I'm living with the possibility, or maybe even probability that she isn't going to be the girl I end up with for life, so I'm currently making sure I don't fall TOO much in love if you get what I mean. I still train hard, in our club, I actually purposely train with other people, because I'm trying to get into the mind set that she's something good that has happened in my life, but she isn't the be all and end all, if it doesn't work out, I'm not going to cry, because I have other stuff to be getting on with, but the thing that does worry me a bit, is that I think she's totally falling in love with me and she may be a bit upset that I'm not giving her the same message. She did just text message me now as I'm typing, saying that she's feeling down because she won't see me tomorrow, I replied to her saying "don't feel down, its just one day, it'll be even better when we do see each other next time". If I start replying with soppy shit like "I know, I can't live a day without you", I'd probably start believing it, and **** that, I'm not deystroying my heart like what has been done before.
Well anyway, sorry for this long post, I just wanted to try and give my point of view to how to "make it" in this cruel world. If anyone has any questions or is curious about something, please ask.
Many thanks (the Heartbreak Kid *lol* )