Nature Boy - I understand you're curious but I didn't come here to satisfy people's idle curiosity and it's a buzz kill to be instructed how to do it as well, gives me the creeps. My husband is not even pertinent to the discussion as it's the effects this is having on me we are talking about here. He didnt come here looking for help. I did. Expending the mental effort doesn't look like it will assist me in any way. So you will have to just manage your curiosity.

Also there seems to be a dynamic on this forum stating that if a woman wants it then she must be a gutter pig. One was so upset by the idea that a woman would want it and makes a volunteer effort in society they had a mini freak out. So if they were to find out that I've raised good kids who are drug free, alcohol free, intelligent, compassionate kids with one already in college on full academic scholarship? I suspect they'd piss their pants and go running through the streets screaming. It seems really strange that a woman can't have a libido if she has a mind and a heart. What's up with that? Is that actually a societal belief or is it just on the forum? Is it just on this forum that I must be labeled bad so others can sleep at night while firmly clenching puritanical beliefs that make the world safer for them?

Hehe, well said. It's mostly just this forum.

Not wanting to have sex with your spouse at all is abnormal for a hetero male; I'm sure you're aware that everybody's sex life gets turned down a notch after a few years of marriage, but this is just crazy. How can a guy NOT want sex? Other options could be that he's in fact depressed, stressed out or a closet homosexual. Or maybe he had performance issue before he shut you off (in which case fear of a repeat of that perceived humiliation has taken hold, causing insecurity around sex). Or maybe your husband just isn't into you anymore and is just staying with you because divorce is too much of a hassle for him?

As for sex, join some sex sites and put a couple of good nudy pics on them if you really want to, there's always a couple of horndogs out there willing to try a MILF . But it'd be better if you fixed your marriage. If he refuses to talk about it, it could be an idea to write him a long letter in which you can pour all your feelings, frustrations, resentment and what have you; I imagine you have these feelings since withholding sex isn't part of a normal marriage (even though many of your gender do it and get away with it, but that's a different discussion since one female isn't representative of the entire gender).

In the letter you could also ask sincerely ask him if he even still loves you at all. If the answer is yes, then why does he refuse sex with his wife? In that event the cause may be more innate. If there's no innate cause, he's possibly lying and also possibly cheating. If it turns out he still loves you should tell him he has three options: A) getting over whatever mental roadblock he has and fuck you (possibly through counseling and perhaps viagra), B) allowing you to have carnal relationships with others or C) divorce.

Fuck you, bitch. You think I'm asking to satisfy my own morbid curiosity? I'm trying to help. The first clue as to why other men won't have sex with you can probably be found in seriously asking yourself why your husband won't have sex with you. I'm not buying that it's just a complete fucking mystery to you -- notwithstanding women's notorious inability to empathize with men.

If you're not interested in actually solving your problem -- if you're just here to indulge in that greatest of female pastimes, attention whoring -- then say so, and I'll leave this thread to you and your supplicant manginas.

Fonduman: when I have a question for you, I'll ask you. Meanwhile your ass-kissing is interfering, so kindly let her speak for herself.

at what point did anyone shame you for having a libido.
not another ENFJ?



I'm not really sure where that came from, since I was only dully aware of your presence in this thread, much as one notes the clouds today are cirrus and then thinks of something else. your semi-functional attempts to "put me in my place" are amusing though. please continue.

WE come here to haunt you....

Really - this is not the place for that. Since the guys here have very little experience they guess. Some better than other though

Do you have a male friend? He could help you out much better.

I have to look at you in action to tell what is happening.

Men are very different, if a man is kind of narcissistic he can enjpoy the power he gets from making you "crave for him" Some are even obsessive about "getting you" (and everyone else) but then won't act on it.

I can also say that a modern woman who is comfortable with her own sexuality is very scary to a man who isn't with his own.

Todays men have so much pressure on them to satisfy women that a whole lot rather skips the deal than try and risk failure.
Our culture paints out men as the natural born scout (alwas ready and prepared) This is not the case, men are human too.

If they bail something scares them. Maybe your husband feels inadequate or have mental issues. Some guys has been molested, and some guys just have low libido.

A last question is it the sex you hunger for or something else.

something has happened to my keys, they have changed places. I can\t write question marks and so forth

Try to act a bit moore shy like a shrinking violet.

Since men here are so opened about a quite embarrassing topic it is only polite to act the same

Different rules here

Nature Boy - you are seriously missing the boat here. I am here for the effect all of this has had on me and ,dare to dream (figure it out and fix it) therefore lotsa, conjectured at best, details about ones extraneous to the situation is impertinent. And the way you ask "I'd really like to know..." implies curiosity.

Finally, unless you're a licensed psychologist with telepathic powers (like some sort of mental exchange with a guy you don't even know) then I am not sure what assistance you could be with the details.

And post naked pics on the net?? Wtf? Whoever said that, surely you must be jesting.

And the discussion or letter idea somebody mentioned is good but scary. I will have to get my nerve up for it. Considering this might be some sort of punishment for having a high drive, it may leave me vulnerable for more or only God knows what. And of course the punishment theory could be wrong.

And while I would be surprised, I do have some humility and realize I can be wrong. I fully looked into the gay possibility and know it's not that. And The_Woman, thank you for your well thought out and kind post, it's very appreciated.

You might find some answers or suggestions here: http://loveaddictionforum.proboards.com/index.cgi

It's more for love addicts, but there are a lot of women on the forum who are in bad relationships. I joined it because I have a pattern of falling for unavailable women. I've never gone after married women; just women who became platonic friends (I'm the King of the Friend Zone).

I read about this on other forums, and thought about it quite a bit as it seems quite scary of a thing to have happen - a total loss of communication and a certain degree of basic respect, from both parties. The best advice I can pass along is the idea that (assuming the reason he isn't interested isn't because he's contentedly cheating on you), with so much time passed without touch/intimacy, he's become indifferent. He's forgotten. Touch and cuddle with no expectations that he's going to just take you to bed. People get lost in their own heads sometimes.