Andras, congratulations. A couple of questions for you - How old are you? How old is your gf? How did she react when she found out you were a virgin - or did you even tell her?

I'm surprised that you think that your love-shyness will return if the relationship ends. I always figured once you had gotten a girl you would know the basic drill and be able to repeat your success. But that could be wrong...which makes me wonder which part of the process is our biggest challenge:

1. Meeting someone you would even be interested in approaching who is available (no husband/boyfriend).
2. Approaching the girl - initiating basic small talk & conversation.
3. Moving beyond small talk to actually asking her out.
4. Getting beyond a nervous & awkward first date - getting her to actually go out with you a second time
5. Initiating physical intimacy

I've gotten to Step 1 many times (although not recently). I can usually get to Step 2, although I'm always very uncomfortable and not very good at it. Step 3 I've only done 7 or 8 times in the past decade. I've never gotten to Step 4 or 5. How about you guys - at what point do you start experiencing problems?

First off, welcome to the forum historian.

Secondly, check the date on this post, Andras is probably long gone.

and to address your issues..

1) Women are everywhere, sometimes though, you have subconscious blocks that keep you from seeing them.

2) "Small talk" will get you nowhere, or at best, in the lets-just-be-friends-zone. You have to build attraction first.

3) Again, she has to be attracted to you first before you can ask her on a date. (successfully). Also, don't forget about instant dates. Say you talk to a girl in a bookstore. You initiate the chat, build attraction and rapport, then you can suggest say, going to get some coffee right there or whatever.

4) Why does the first date have to be nervous or awkward? If you are comfortable with yourself, there shouldn't be any discomfort.

5) Initiating physical intimacy begins with touch. You should slowly begin to get her used to your touch from the beginning.

(damn, I'm starting to sound like a PUA again... oh well)

Chetniks on fire

Blimey. It's the internet's version of Dracula. Just when you think it's dead....