cerebral_barrier wrote:
You have no basis for that statement. Some of the coolest, most adventurous men I've known are shy around women. How you approach DSR often (if not usually) has little to no relation to who you are outside of DSR.
If you are shy around women, they will think that you are boring. They will never know about your manly adventures if you are too shy to tell them.
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Actually, this site is a support site. It's on the title page.
What do you mean by "support"? Are you telling me that this is a site where people just pat each other on the back?
True Story: I was unspeakably depressed when I was in my late teens. I went to "support sites" around this time. These were sites where everyone was nicey-nicey and anyone who used "harsh language" was banned. I eventually stopped using those sites because they weren't making me any happier. I cried over my inner pain every day and I still felt like shit.
That's why most people grow out of emo music when they are older. It doesn't make you feel better. Notice how SuperJeff has been crying for years and he still feels like shit on a stick.
I rose out of that Hell through experimentation. I tried talking about politics for a while. That satisfied me for a while, but I eventually got bored of that because I ran out of topics to address and I didn't want to repeat myself.
After that, I realized that I had been supressing my creativity for my whole life due to social anxiety. I wrote some short stories and my friends liked them. My sister liked them. After that, I embraced my imagination. That brought me true happiness. As I descended into my imagination, I stopped caring about the rest of the world ... because fuck them! My imaginary friends all love me! Who cares about real people? They might just be philosophical zombies! If they are real, they are just apes! They're just vertebrates, and I eat vertebrates for lunch every day! Emotional detachment is the key to enlightened happiness and transcendental wisdom.
I initially came to this site to share my wisdom. I find that sharing my wisdom feels good, even if everyone rejects it. I eventually became a fake retard because this site was full of overt misogyny and racism. I pretended to be a moron because I lost all respect for this site and its users. After Mr. C banned me for a sexist joke, I regained respect for this site.
That's why I'm here now. Mr. C (who is a really great guy) has finally put this site under control. Now this is finally a site where I can share my wisdom without a constant barrage of racism and rape trivialization.
Here's my point:
Hugboxes don't work. People who rely on hugboxes usually continue to feel like shit. People who use hugboxes are essentially falling to their knees and begging for mercy.
If you want true happiness, embracing your imagination is the first step. Imagination allows us to find happiness without the help of anyone else. It helps us find peace within ourselves. It's an empowering feeling.
When I was younger, I was hyper-empathetic, as some aspies are. I kept thinking "Will someone be upset if I do this? Will someone be upset if I do that?" all the fucking time. I cared so much about other people that I was paralyzed by my own sense of right and wrong. Now, my imagination feels more real than the real world. My sense of guilt has been inhibited. My sense of shame has been inhibited. I can always descend into Imagination Land in order to overcome any sort of pain. I don't need to care about anything anymore. It's a liberating feeling. I feel like I can do anything.
If I had continued to rely on those hugbox sites, I would still feel like shit.
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At what point did "change yourself because the real you isn't good enough for women" become the forum mantra?
Some of the guys on this site are literally
suicidal because they can't get laid. When your life is literally on the line, it's time to change who you are ... so you don't become a dead, empty shell hanging from the ceiling.
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No actually. However, "support for the dating challenged" comes to mind. As for the 'two kinds of advice sites'; they're both bullshit. Working out and improving yourself should always be about making your own life more enjoyable. Women should never be part of the equation since they won't appreciate that stuff but will instead waste your time and money if you don't pass their looks test beforehand.
Fine. Suit yourself.
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As for respecting women; who ever got a date for respecting women?
Some men manage to do that. Woman are different from one another.
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On the other hand I can think of quite a few people that I personally know who have gotten plenty dates and sex by being a lying, manipulative cutthroat with no respect for women.
Those men usually get laid because they are confident. They speak about their manly adventures.
Their relationships usually don't last very long. When a woman dates jock douchebag, she will usually realize that he is a scumbag after a while and then dump him. That's why these guys constantly go from one woman to the next.
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Actually, I'm not MGTOW. Nor am I incel or love-shy. I'm something else entirely now.
I have seen the bullshit that is DSR from the LS/incel side for years only to finally partake in it and find out that it's not all it's cracked up to be. To be honest, while I enjoyed the sex, I was expecting more from my supposed partner than a mindless sheep following a script handed to her by Walt Disney.
Wait. What are you talking about? Walt Disney?
I actually find that Disney fangirls are cute. They expect me to be sensitive and romantic, but I can do that. At least they don't behave in a masculine way. At least they don't use biting sarcasm. At least they aren't sad sacks. At least they don't spout radfem nonsense.
Disney is underrated. I don't know whey so many guys ridicule adult Disney fangirls. They've always been kind to me.
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Thankfully I had my wake up call before I married that idiot had children with her. After that, I took stock of what went wrong in our relationship and cross referenced that information with my dating past and all other women i went out with after her. Do you know what I found? That virtually all women act the same way she did toward men.
This completely contradicts
my personal experiences with women. I've dealt with women who treated me like shit. I've dealt with nice women who called me a "hot stud". Women are different from one another.
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Now I see the women and society for what they really are. I also recognize that women have only one thing to offer that I cannot get elsewhere. Otherwise they fail the cost/benefit analysis in every other conceivable way.
So no; I'm not going to change my behavior since there's absolutely nothing wrong with me. I'm not going to add lying, emotional manipulation and a false sense of authority to my personality traits (not to mention spending additional time, money and energy) to satisfy someone who has only one thing I want, but withholds it maliciously, and is otherwise incapable of giving me what I want in a relationship. That's not MGTOW; that's self respect and common sense.
That sounds an awful lot like MGTOW though. How exactly are you different from a MGTOW?
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Kudos to you for making an effort to contribute to a solution but it's important for you to understand what these people are up against. Your advice will not work for the "ugly", the poor, the unpopular, the overly honest or those who only have access to women they do not want in the first place.
I'll just repeat what I said about suicide. Some people here are literally suicidal over a lack of sex. Those are the men who I am talking to.
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Who says? How about all the fat and/or misandrist women all over the globe are getting more play than all the men on this forum combined?
Some women are lucky enough to know a male radfem who will put up with that crap. Others? Not so much.
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There is a difference a mile wide between, "don't be an asshole" and what you are suggesting we do. You're basically saying that to get laid, a woman could simply eat a salad and not be a misandrist bitch (for now); meanwhile, you're telling us to alter our entire personalities and interests to suit what a woman wants. You're basically saying; "take the raw deal". The real fucked up part is that you don't even understand that IF we were to change, we still would have a shitty time with women since they do not respect men who make that kind of change for them. Sure, it's 'sweet' at first, but after a while, they take you for granted.
I'll say it again. Some guys here are suicidal.
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You don't get it. There is no "success" with women. You spend time energy and money, on a chance to get laid. If you get laid on the regular, you pay on the regular until eventually the woman gives you an ultimatum to stop renting her V and flat out buy it. Now you're fucked because if you say no, the sex stops and you have to (try) start over again with someone else. But if you say yes, your time and money are no longer your own. You are forced (by law) to live a life-style you never wanted only to face a 50% chance that she will divorce your ass and financially bury you.
Is this what you can success?
It's not what
I call success, but, like I said, some guys here are literally suicidal. Some guys here believe that being denied sex is worse than getting raped. These guys are really desperate.
If that isn't you, then that's fine ... but some guys here
are that desperate. I'm giving them advice on how to change themselves from the ground up. Hugboxes won't help them. They never helped me.