There is a psychotherapist in Germany who definitely understands the problem of being LoveShy. He describes his own past battles with this problem. I contacted him, and we conversed about the condition, which he calls "Absolute Beginners" - because that is what most LS people are - they have gained absolutely no experience of dating, and find themselves among men and women who have had years of experience and instinctively know how to behave. It is a bit like finding yourself in a university maths lecture when you didn't do any maths after age 13!

His solution is partly coaching, and partly 'cuddle parties', in which clients get a chance to cuddle young women (not more) under carefully controlled conditions.

The only problem is that the service is all in German! Klaus can write reasonable English, but he doesn't feel confident to provide a service to English-only speakers. Nevertheless, his website can be GOOGE-translated reasonably well. Some of you maybe have a knowledge of German, and could try his service:

Klaus Schorn
Weingartenstr. 26, 77654 Offenburg
kontakt@schorn-coaching.de
www.schorn-coaching.de

From my experience, he will reply to emails in English (though I was not requesting help, only reporting my own experiences from many years ago).

As you know, I think almost all of you who can't get a girlfriend are in fact LS. I think those of you who think your problem is that you are a 'beta male' (or even an omega male!) could still benefit from a service supplied by a man who has actually experienced the same problem.

(Thanks to Onceshy for originally showing me this link)

FS

Like Fairly Shy says I gave the link. I must say the Google translation of his site into English is really good and useful.
From interest in the subject I had email contact with Klaus a few years ago. Without having any direct benefit from it he was very helpful and interested. In the end he even asked if I wanted to do something in this direction.

Since almost a year I am friends with a former client of him who asked if he knew people who were interested in contact. This year he moved to Berlin and visited cuddle partys, meetings with other LS/ AB people and currently being coached by a wingman. We keep good contact how things are getting along and I hope things will change in the near future.

Onceshy,

One thing I didn't establish, is where he gets the women to be cuddled. Hopefully they are themselves therapists, not just women trying to earn a wage.

Personally, thinking back to my own LS problems, I would say that practice at actually chatting a girl up - saying the right things, flirting etc - may be more useful (if less exciting) than actually cuddling - but I wouldn't want to be critical of his approach - after all, as I understand it, he has honed his technique on people like us.

FS

Sorry, there you are mistaken I think. He advises some clients to go to a "cuddle party". But these are common in Germany and not set up by him. The women who come there are just the same interested in contact. There are some element in there that might be interesting as well. You have to ask a women (or the other way round) if she want too as well, so there is a risk of rejection. It seems to me this can be more difficult but useful. On the other hand the threshold is by far lower than outside.

My friend got some interesting psychological feedback once and a very good cuddle/ eyecontact as well. Almost leading to a kiss...

The list of cities offering these party's can be found on his website and here: http://www.alle-kuschelpartys.de/

To the moderators of this forum

I supplied this information to try to help those men here who still want to find a girlfriend. I am totally baffled why my thread now has a yellow moderation banner at the top - what the hell have I done wrong?

Also, this thread has a 'moved' mark put against it, but it is still where I placed it?

FS

This may be a mistake arising from the fact that I used a GOOGLE translate to access his website.

However, in my communication with him I wrote, " I think your cuddle parties may help, but also I think practice in asking a girl out, and practice in conducting a (pretend) first date is important." Curiously he did not correct me about that.

However if you GOOGLE "Cuddle parties for she people", you get a host of responses, including US and UK entries.

If indeed the girls attending these parties are also shy, I think this would be a valuable resort indeed, as presumably cuddlers are free to mutually agree to arrange to meet again after the session is over.

FS

The thread has been moved to the Resources and Recovery forum. You didn't do anything wrong.

Where I suspect practically nobody will see it!

If a major purpose of this forum is not to help people who are struggling with LS, perhaps I have misunderstood, and should just leave.

FS